Is my boyfriend in denial?

Question

Me and like all of our friends think that my boyfriend and his "bestfriend" (whom is a girl) like eachother!! it is so obvious!! The way he alwayz talks about her and how much time they spend together!! I have confronted him about the situtation and he has claimed that he will never like her in that way and how they are just very close..but a guy and a girl being so close seems that it can only lead to one thing..them becoming lovers!! i dont want to be left in the dust if they ever figure out how they truly feel for eachother!! but according to him thats never going to happen! Okay so my question really is..Does my boyfriend like his "bestfriend" as more than friends? Shud i trust what he tells me? HELP!!!

Answer 1

First of all, in the ADULT REAL WORLD, men and women can be FRIENDS without sex! See: PLATONIC in the dictionary!
IF you are so worried and he has told you he loves you then you have some insecurity issues.

For now you should trust what he tells you!
You have NO valid proof he is lying and IF you even suggest you think he is it could end the relationship!

Be brave it is a lesson to learn and a part of growing up a strong woman. And learning to trust your boyfriend really builds character! They do not like dis trustful women at any age, they just do not understand it when they are being honest.
TRUE there are BOYS who lie but give him a chance first to do something wrong ALSO if you believe he will do wrong it can happen You must have FAITH that he is truthful!

Answer 2

My best friend since I was 7 is a guy and we're both married now and still very close friends. Many of the women he dated (including his now wife) thought he and I had some sexual relationship going or that we were secretly in love, which just wasn't the case. We are like brother/sister and while we talk about everything and we know eachother very well, we never slept together or even kissed.
So, in my experience it is possible for a guy and a girl to be just friends. The problem is that most girls are so jealous they just can't handle that their boyfriend has a friend who is a girl that he spends time with. One thing I will tell you, is that if you jealous and cause problems - don't give him an ultimatum of either picking you or her - because he will pick her and he will be very justified in doing so. A girlfriend should be secure enough in her relationship to respect her bf's friendship and even make an effort to get to know and like the person who is important to her bf.

Answer 3

From what you're saying it doesn't sound like there's anything going on. You should always trust your boyfriend, that is, until he gives you a reason not to. I am very close with my guy friends but I know where my heart lies. It would never go any further then friendship.

My advice: Relax. Don't be so quick to judge. Stop taking everything at face value. And be careful of pouring out too much judgment on them. You may be actually pushing them closer. A lot of times, in situations like this one, the friends don't even think that way toward each other... until the idea is planted in their head. Just trust boyfriend but stay aware of things.

Best Wishes!

Answer 4

Many times when people are close friends like that they know that they like each other a lot, however they do not want to be in a relationship because they are afraid it will ruin their friendship. So I would just watch out for warning signs that they are actually more than friends, but realize they have a special relationship also. Maybe start being her close friend also. Good Luck!

Answer 5

My best friend name is Eric. I have been friends with him for years. A lot of people say that him and I must like each other and it is very far from the truth. I have an ex boyfriend name Luis who I am very much still friends with and he visits often but I have no desire whatsoever to be with him ever again. The only problem that I see in your situation is why are you not included in the time they spend together? If she is his friend like he says she is, she should understand that he has you and most of his time should be spent with you and when he spends time with her, you are there too. Eric is my best friend and Luis is my friend but if I see that it is making my partner a little uncomfortable, I would first offer for us to hang out together or try to cut down a little bit of time that I spend with them. Also, it might not be him liking her, it may be the other way around. I would ask her personally in front of your boyfriend to clear up any misconceptions there may be. You are only human and any one in your situation would question their friendship. Eric and Luis both have girlfriends and out of courtesy to their girlfriends, I keep the phone calls and hanging out to a minimum. You should ask his friend if she was in a relationship with someone would she appreciate another woman taking her time? I bet she wouldn't. She needs a man of her own.

Answer 6

one of my best friends is a guy and I love him so much...as a friend. My current squeeze understands that I spend time with him and talk to him and hug and kiss him because he's my dearest friend. I don't want to hook up with him, no way!!! It goobs me out just thinking about it. You have to understand that friendship isn't decided by what sex you are but how comfortable you are with someone. A spritual connection. I say give him the benefit of the doubt unless he proves otherwise you have nothing to worry about. You're stuck in a cultural and social understanding of how men and women should be...it's just not true just because you're friends with a guy/girl doesn't mean that you want to be their romantic partner. Trust me just chill out on it...it'll be okay. Can I just add, that it should be seen a s abonus that your BF can chill with a girl as it means he has an appreciation of the opposite sex...which is good for you honey!!

Answer 7

(*shrug*) He could be in denial. He could be telling the truth. It may be that they've both decided they'd rather just be friends than to screw it up by getting involved.

I had a lot of guy friends in high school and college. Loved them dearly. Hung out with them. Teased. Hugged. Had a wonderful time. Never "dated" them and never wanted to. A "boyfriend" was easy to find, but a really great friend....much tougher.

Is it possible they really are just great friends? Absolutely!! I have a "best friend" now, that's a guy, and we've been best friends for 10 years. I love him dearly. Love to hang out with him. Wouldn't get involved with him for anything. Why screw up a perfectly great relationship?

So, you either trust him or you don't. You can either accept it, or not.

Answer 8

I think it is totally possible that a guy and a girl can be just friends I myself have some really close guy friends that Ive never been sexual with or have liked for more than a friend. If I were you maybe be a little leary but I wouldnt worry about it too much. But I would stop harrassing him about it if I were you

Answer 9

Always trust your gut feeling. If you and others feel this way then it's probably true. If you're really into him, give him an ultimatum, tell him it's either you or her, he can't have both. Especially if shes all he talks about. He needs to have a good "guy" friend not "girl" doesn't work,

Answer 10

.
He CAN love her without being IN-love with her. And it can happen that someday he would fall in-love with her if he ever develops lust for her.

You should find out how he feels about you. Is he IN-love with you? Or do you only have sex?
What does your gut feeling tell you?

Love is about ALL OF being best-friends, trust, respect, caring, sharing, fairness in a balanced way.
Being IN-love adds to the above the element of lust. Hot kisses, and more sexual things sooner or later.

You should find out how SHE feels about him.
And you should find out how HE feels about you for real.

IMPORTANT
Here is truth:
LOVE (as all of the elements above) can last without lust.
LUST can not last very long without LOVE.

When you find the answers to what I've suggested above, only then will your question be answered for yourself .

stw
;)