FATHERS only....?

Question

Im 17 my gurl is 16 We in love she could possibly be pregnant both of our fathers left us at the age of two.so basicly i need tips on how to raise a child can you help me

Answer 1

First, let me tell you that I work with divorced and single fathers, so much of what I'm going to say you will not like, but I will try to be helpful.

First off, your best source to begin with would be the National Fatherhood Initiative. The link is below. Also, both of you should take a course on parenting though the local continuing education school.

Now the bad news, and let's start with health issues first. Teenage girls who get pregnant have a much higher risk of developing breast cancer as they age.

Teenage males who are sexually active are at a great risk of testicle cancer before age 35. It is the #1 form of cancer in males age 15-35. Treatment involves removal of the affected testicle(s) followed by radiation treatment, but only if caught early. Caught late it nearly 100% fatal, as it spreads and slowly eats away at your brain and lungs. You slowly go insane while suffocating.

Neither of these problems is guaranteed to happen, any more than smoking guarantees lung cancer, but it increases your chances of it.

Now, let's talk about rights. In the majority of states, you have no legal right to the child until a judge grants them. You are legally responsible for supporting her and the child, but without a court order, or a marriage certificate, if something happens to her, the child goes to her relatives, or foster care. She can move away with the child, and there is nothing you can do about it. If you have to go to court, figure on paying out $10-$15 thousand, or more if you get accused of domestic violence. You don't have to commit it. You just have to be accused.

Now for where you are in life. Though you will soon be 18 that does not make you an adult. The only reason why males are declared adults at age 18 is because you can be drafted, and females get it because males do.

Unfortunately, you are not drafted because you are mature, but because your brain has not developed far enough to overcome the inherent aversion to taking another's life. Also, to do 200 pushups when ordered to. It is the peak time when your body makes the most efficient use energy and oxygen. Females reach that point at age 14, but as an aside to this. With the evolving nature of the human being to live longer, there may be a tradeoff. We may be maturing slower, with all the assumptions about the developmental stages of life coming later than in the last century. Humans remained the same for more than 1000 years, than in less than 100 years, things have been changing.

All that said, females reach full maturity at age 24, which is also when they enter their peak reproductive period. More children are born outside of wed lock to women ages 24-28, than any other age group, including teenagers.

Males don't reach full maturity until age 30, and before you scoff, Jesus Christ, who was a perfect human being, was not mature enough to leave home until age 30.

All that said, I would like for both of you to consider the option of adoption. You both will be fighting the emotional and hormonal urges of your own childhood, while trying to deal with the urges of a child. The child that you will be having will not love you, a conceptual ability that does not even begin to develop until age 12.

In the beginning it will only know wants and desires, such as I want to eat, that is why I'm screaming, and I've loaded my diaper, which is also why I'm screaming. They are not alive to fulfill your needs. You are there to fulfill the child's needs. Your life should center around the child and mother. Your wants, desires, and urges are secondary.

After two years, the child's brain will enter the next stage of development, the ability to permanently store data. That is when they get into everything. They are doing that because the brain has only ten years to collect data to move into the next stage, the sorting of the data and understanding the meaning behind things. As you know already, this stage is not completely until age 30 in males, and age 24 in females.

It is important that they do get into everything, because it is all-important data. They are like a computer. At this stage, the brain develops beyond of lower forms of life, such as animals. Like a computer, the more data stored the better it works, but store the image of the front of a phone in a computer, than ask it to identify the same phone from the back side, and it can't. This is because it has not yet stored the image data for the back side.

We absorb 10 Megabytes of data per second, though as adults, we likely dump a lot of it. Children, past age 2, store it all, which is why it is important for them to sleep at least 10 hours, at night, not including naps. That also applies to you and the mother. Since neither of you are yet mature, missing sleep causes all types of problems later in life.

When you sleep "at night,” not only does your brain store what you've learn, your immune system regenerates, all minor and major repairs to injuries are performed (including pregnancy), your muscles re-oxidate, and it's when you do all your growing. On this last one, consider that not getting enough sleep at night could mean that you will not be as well hung as you could have been.

Below there's a second web site I would also recommend. I hope you make the right decision, whether to allow adoption, or to raise it and put your own life on hold. If you choose the latter, remember, you have the potential of 80 to 110 years of living, with plenty of time after the children are grown to do all the things you may not be doing now.

Answer 2

Yes, be responsible, keep a job, set a good example in front of the kid, don't be afraid of showing affection toward your wife in front of the child (it lets the child know that you love each other), be careful of spoiling the kid by buying it too much that it wants instead of what it needs (make wants treats so they'll appreciate what they get), don't be afraid of correcting the child when they do something wrong (I suggest spanking when necessary because in my opinion there is a direct line from the butt to the brain in teaching right from wrong, they'll love and respect you more as well. They won't hate you, so don't believe the lies that some will tell you.), stay active and influential in what the kid does or likes, teach the child to defend itself when provoked and never to start a fight, and teach it to respect authority at home first and that way it will respect authority out in the real world. Get advice from GOOD PARENTS that you know personally.

Answer 3

Get a bullet.

You're a MORON!!!
Getting a girl pregnant. And she's 16?
I was doing that stuff then, too. But I was a little smarter about it.

Pal, having kids is a blessing, but you two aren't ready for it.

Here's my advise.
1) get a job. don't matter what you do. get a job.
2)give up your life outside of work and being a dad.
3) raising a child will come to you if you let your moms help.
4)DON"T HAVE ANY MORE KIDS!!
5)did I say get a job?
6) did I mention that you won't have a life outside of work and being a dad?

AND DON"T HAVE ANY MORE KIDS!!!!

Answer 4

Continue to shower loves to your girl. When she is in her post natal, she is ugly, and need a lot of support, be it emotional or at housework.

You must understand that been a good father means to be responsible. No more late nights out until your children can handle by themselve (may be when they are 10).

Work hard to ensure the financial stablity, and also pray always as a family.

When they kids is in the preschool, continue to think of ways to please your wife emotionally. CHildren need to see the parent still in love.

Best wish.

Answer 5

You can get parenting class info at your local health department. Since you are so young you think about giving it up for adoption so you two can have a good start in life. Just a fathers suggestion.

Answer 6

My Dad was 17 and my Mom was 16 when they got married. I am the 3rd of 13 children and proud of it.

But I'm proud of it because of the way my parents conducted themselves through it all.

Yes, it was hard. We had very little. My Dad always had to work two jobs just to put food on the table and pay the bills. He would work a third job at Sears during Christmas season in order to be able to get us clothes for christmas, along with a toy or two.

My mother had her hands full taking care of us all. We gave her severe headaches, I remember.

But their committment before God and man was to stick through it together, and to raise good children.
They sent us to a private school and took us to church regularly.

THEY DID THAT FOR US.

Seven boys in the same room until we could add onto the house. Like I said, we didn't have much. But we knew we were loved, we knew who Dad and Mom were, we learned what it meant to have a home life and to care for one another.

Oh yes, and we learned how to have fun, because Dad and Mom taught us how to play all kinds of sports, and we had plenty of competition within the family, as you can imagine!

So let my parents be an example for you as well:

They put family first (Father, Mother, Kids, Grandparents, Uncles and Aunts and Cousins!).

Dad did whatever it took to provide in an honorable way.

Mom saw to it that what Dad brought home stretched as far as humanly possible.

Neither parent was stranger to personal sacrifice.

We ate our meals together, around the table, after offering a prayer of thanks.

They put a high emphasis on completing an education, and making excellent grades in order to prepare ourselves for our own family's future.

They taught us how to have good fun, not the fake fun that accompany drugs and alcohol, etc.

They set the good example by living honestly and honorably before God and men.

You asked for tips on how to raise children. I say, be like my Dad. Give your wife and kids a Husband and Father they can also be proud of.

Answer 7

Don't leave. Get a job. Keep a job. Make the family the priority. Never punish in anger. Fight fair (no violence, no name-calling). Learn to compromise. Stay home at night. Learn about how kids develop so your rules and punishments are appropriate. Never, ever put your kids down...encourage them instead. Play with them, even when you'd rather be doing something else. No drugs. Never let them see you drunk. Help them with their homework.

Answer 8

Congrats :)
We recently had a baby boy and the trick is to enjoy every moment of life.
One of the thinks that happens is we let ours frustrations due to our day to day life interfer with your baby's life, which is always not so good.
Good Planning, will help u raise ur kid. Think what ur kid will need at every age. Try to be as prepared as you can financially and mentally.

Answer 9

get a job. if you're not earning that much, ask her to have a job.
make sure you can provide everything for your child. and also make sure you have saved enough.

it's not easy being a parent, unless your mothers would help you out at it. parenting takes a lot, lot of patience. believe me.

so before stepping on, think about it a thousand times.

i don't need to give you tips. think about it first. think. think . think. you're way too young boy!

Answer 10

There are so many resources out there to assist you! Congratualations! by the way.

I am glad you are standing by your girl and your baby.

Your local childrens hospital,Child protective services department,Teen center and Child guidance centers are the best places to go for information.

Depending on where you leave the services go by different names.