My boyfriend keeps his computer in his room. He has a webcam and the other night I noticed his aol buddy list were all women. In fact, instead of 'buddies' it says, 'Ladies'. He never tried to hide this from me which I think is a good thing but, I don't know if I should be worried about this. Also, I sent him my screen name but he never added me on there. The only reason I joined aol was to chat with him. What do you all think and would it bother you?
2006-07-18 12:18:59 · 69 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I hate to tell you this but it really does seems as if he is more than chatting with women on the net. He did not add you because he had to make sure that he does not confuse you with others or you will find out what he is doing. Want to know? Use a friends aol id and contact him over the net ( not telling him who you are) , You may be surprised.
2006-07-18 12:39:07 · answer #1 · answered by vhat40 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as a "test" lets do this: Put up a webcam and add a "buddy" list of all males, whether real people or not, and let him "see" it and see what he says....
ps also, make a 'new' or alternate screen name and enter the chat room he's in, see if he even HAS a girlfriend according to HIM.
2006-07-18 12:22:15 · answer #2 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, in combination with some of the other questions you posted recently I think your bf is trying to have his cake and eat it too. He likes you as a gf, but he also wants to get his rocks off with a lot of female adoration from other sources. Why he would hurt you, the one he's with, in favor if fantasy scenarios with people he's never going to meet, is beyond me. My guess is these aren't his old college buddies, they're random women he met on the net. Are you really at such a low point of communication that you can't ask him or trust his answer? If he cares for you he would choose you. And not that I advocate secrecy, but if he respected you he wouldn't do this in front of your face.
2006-07-19 23:05:27 · answer #3 · answered by Monso Orda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it would bother me. I would have to wonder why he had all female names on his chat list - obviously they could all be friends or family members who are women, but the odds of that are kinda slim. I would talk to him about it and ask him whats up with the list. The fact he didn't hide it from you is a good thing, but you need to ask him why you aren't on his list and furthermore why he feels the needs to have so many "girl friends" while he is in a relationship.
2006-07-18 12:21:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would bother me quite a bit actually. But are you sure that he JUST has ladies. If he does and your not on it I would be kinda suspisous. But then again he hasn't tried to hide it from you, and if it was that bad wouldn't he??? I don't know exactly what I think... but i would be pretty uneasy about the whole thing. Mabey you should try chating with some of the girls on his list, see what they say about him... just a thought. Though he might get mad at you for meddling.
2006-07-18 12:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by luckystar53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it would bother me alot especially if you both have been in the relationship for a long period of time. Otherwise, I can't really say, as for my experience in the beginning I had many guy buddies and he had girls but as our relationship progressed to a more serious level (now we are married) all that changed. Why don't you discuss it with him and let him know it bothers you? Or inquire who are they? Just be open and honest, he won't know if you don't say anything.
2006-07-18 12:28:31 · answer #6 · answered by JC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ask him what the deal with all these girls and why am I not there. Or buy a web cam and surprise him with a list of your own chat buddies, then he'll really know where you are coming from
2006-07-18 12:22:11 · answer #7 · answered by what do you think? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You now what? I am having this same exact problem with my boyfriend. The only difference is our webcam is not hooked up. It's not hooked up because we haven't figured out how to hook it up. I was told that it's worst if he has the webcam .So I'm glad it's not hooked up.He tells me not to worry, but i think after playing around on the compute soon he's going to want to see whats up for real. He told me to try it, but i don't wont to. So to answer your question yes it does bother me. I just haven't figured out what to do about it. If you think of something let me now.
2006-07-18 12:41:01 · answer #8 · answered by ronny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should bother you because he is your man and not some Internet flirt. You should find out what he has been doing on there because if you were not on his "ladies" list, you know what that list is for. Not for just chatting that is for sure. Find out what he is doing, it is very common nowadays for men to cheat on their girlfriends like this. If he has nothing to hide it will not affect your relationship.
2006-07-18 12:22:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hell YEAH!! that would bug me...maybe he's out lookin for some fun ..u know sex.....maybe he thinks ur not givin him enough??? Who knows???
Men, well be men...Why don't you just ask him ? That would be the best bet...don't you think?
I don't know if I am saying the right thing or not so u can take this comment anyway u want....just take care and keep ur head-up...and always remember that you are a good person no matter what....laters
2006-07-18 12:26:31 · answer #10 · answered by itsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋