I have a best friend who has recenlty been wishy washy on plans. Sunday she wanted to go to a concert at a local park in our community and the concert started at 7:00pm. So, she calls me on my cell and leaves a voice mail at 6:48pm. Saying that we should go to the concert. In addition I asked her Saturday the day before, if she wanted to go she said no because she was going to be busy hanging out with her boyfreind.However, I was having dinner with my mom and some freinds of ours. So, I could not go because I did not have advance notice. She has been doing this to me a lot lately. Sometimes I ask if she wants to hang out and she always says maybe. Then, she calls me back several hours later that day to confirm if she wants to go out or not. A couple of weeks ago we had dinner arrangements. She called me the day before to confirm the dinner arrangement. I called her an hour before dinner to confirm and she told me she had already had dinner 10 min ago. Is her behavior rude?
2006-07-18 10:30:08 · 22 answers · asked by brooke992002 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I agree with most of the responders. Your friend is rude and inconsiderate. She shouldn't make plans with you and then cancel at the last minute. If she doesn't want to do something with you, she should be truthful and tell you straight away.
A very close friend of mine would do something like that. I finally told her I was tired of it. We would make plans,then she would do something else and not even call. I was waiting and waiting wondering where she was. She apologized and hasn't done it since.
I would go ahead and make plans. If your friend wants to join you, fine. Otherwise, I would assume she is a 'fair weather' friend and go ahead with your own plans. Maybe if you continue to do this and not include her, she will realize you can get along without
her. Maybe she will realize what a good friend she has in you and start to change her behavior. If not, she wasn't much of a friend to begin with. (unfortunately)
2006-07-18 12:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Malika 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes this is rude behavior. Don't be rude in retaliation, just speak plainly and simply: "I can't keep waiting for you to make up your mind". You are obviously a fall back plan for her, not a true friend. Tell her that when she gets her act together and actually can make time to spend with you, then you'll hang out. If she makes plans with you again at the last minute, simply tell her you can't and move on. It won't be rude, she's doing the same thing. Hope this helps and that you two can still be friends.
2006-07-18 10:53:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend like that. At first, she started to be wishy washy with our plans too She'd say things like "I might come but I'm not sure". Sometimes she was there but she would leave like 20 mins. later because her bf would call. She's sooooo consumed with her boyfriend that I haven't seen her for (literally) over 2 months! It's quite sad. She missed my birthday, she didn't go with me and our closest friends to the DC Fireworks (it's a tradition we've been doing since 1999!) It's so rude! I agree with you. That's rude. I'm sorry you have to go through that.
2006-07-18 10:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a combination of her being a bit rude and you being a bit obsessive. You are not real high on her priority list, which is fine and not necessarily about you. You should just accept that she is a bit flaky and not very good with keeping her plans. Don't obsess about confirming things with her... if she flakes on you one or two times, stop making plans with her and spend more time focusing on other friends.
2006-07-18 10:37:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its very inconsiderate... i think she only cares about herself. From now on give her a deadline in which she has to answer by otherwise the plans are off.. this should work. Oh and do not be rude about just be like i need to know by (time) so i can get ready or w/e
2006-07-18 10:35:18 · answer #5 · answered by samantha h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you know the answer to your question. She is very rude. By her behavior, it looks like she is using you as back up insurance if her other plans fall through. Find another friend. I wouldn't put up with this treatment another minute.
2006-07-18 10:41:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes. her behavior is rude and inconsiderate. but you must also consider the very real possibility, even likelihood, that it is deliberate. most people who behave like your "friend" are keeping one person (in this case, you) as a "back-up" in case other plans fall through. they are usually the kind of people who have a pathological fear of being alone or having nothing to do. they are also, generally speaking, incapable of friendship, or any other non-selfish act. stop thinking of her as your best friend.
2006-07-18 10:39:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely. sounds like your friend is either jsut flaky or did you guys maybe have a small falling out sometime recently? you should tell her how this makes you feel and that you are trying to be courteous and make advance plans ... see how she reacts. if she gets all huffy about it, then drop it ... and just "drift away" ... there's no reason to have a bad friend like that.
2006-07-18 10:39:09 · answer #8 · answered by texandiva2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes because that to me seems like she's getting of you guys being friends she's probably to into her boyfriend right now but just give it time and when she finally relizes that a friend is better than a guy your the one that's going to have to decide if you should forgive her or not.
2006-07-18 10:36:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
possibly you may desire to locate some somewhat friends particularly of those "freinds". i don't understand what those are, yet they sound undesirable! playstation : possibly in case you spelled extra desirable you would be lined in notes.
2016-11-02 07:26:39 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋