I just dated this incredible girl and we had nothing but an awesome time together. She used to date this guy (who was also her first bf) who was controlling and verbally abusive. They broke up about 3-4 times over. Her friends and parents hate him. She always used to tell me about how she could never be friends with him again and how she hated so many things about him. Everytime they broke up he said he was sorry and that things would be different this time, and gave her the "wounded dog" look. Of course it was all bs. Now she's friends with him again and we've broken up. She really wanted to be friends and hang out. Now she's basically shut me out of her life (why would she do this?). I think she knows deep down inside it's a bad idea she's doing it anyway. She isn't dating him or hanging out with him that much.
Look, I know she's gone so you don't have to remind me, it already bugs me. I obviously have to move on but what could I do to make her open to be friends again/get her back?
2006-07-18 09:26:09 · 3 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow this is a really sad situation. Many girls always chase after the guy that treats them like crap and in turn treats the good guy like crap. Unfortunately she still have some sort of bond with her first boyfriend that she is not ready to give up on... perhaps he was her first. Many girls do tend to get clingy to their first love. However, I am going to keep it real with you, youre not her number one and you wont be. You can be friends with her, but why put your self through that? Only to be upset and hurt all over again. Like many girls and guys we prefer the chase...but the minute the chasing stops we get frustrated, we want to know why he or she is no longer interested in us. I honestly think you should invest this energy into a new relationship. Im sure this girl would be doing everything in her power to get your attention. In fact she will be jealous that you will have someone new in your life and that you are no longer interested in her. If you still want to be friends go ahead and call her, but remember her first boyfriend might intervene and make things more difficult between the two of you.
*Good Luck!!!!
2006-07-18 09:42:19 · answer #1 · answered by Star 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she's not over her ex. Unfortunately (as you're now finding out) it's not that easy to get over someone that you love. She won't get over him until SHE'S ready to. (Just like you won't get over her until you're ready)
BTW...I personally think it's impossible to be friends with an ex that you've had strong feelings for until some years go by. You can be friendly, but not friends. I mean....do you really want to talk to her about her current relationship? Cause that's what friends do. It's not a friendship if all you're doing is waiting for her to "see the light" about what a great guy you are and take you back.
I know you want her back, but there's nothing you can do to make her want you if she doesn't already. You can't make someone see your worth. Either they do or they don't. And it sounds like she doesn't.
2006-07-18 09:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by virgogirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to let her know that your are a safe person to be with that you aren't going to judge her because she has been and still is making bad choices. Reassure her that her mistakes don't change the way you feel about her, and you will always be there for her....even when this loser she is with now hurts her and leaves her again. Be her shoulder to lean on.
2006-07-18 09:43:36 · answer #3 · answered by Unwritten 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋