I found cigarettes in my 13 old daughters purse last night. What type of punishment will work?

Question

Otherwise a great kid with straight A's.

Answer 1

I started smoking when I was 15 years old. My dad caught me for the first time when I was 16. He took my cigarettes away, talked to me about it, acted really disappointed and didn't do much of anything else. After that, he never caught me again and eight years later, I finally quit smoking for real...
There are many creative things that you can do, but ultimately, you need to be consistent. You need to keep asking, keep reinforcing that smoking is dangerous and it WILL cause health problems if she keeps it up! Make her write a report about the bad effects of smoking. If you are a smoker also, lead by example and quit smoking. Parents who are smokers are more likely to have children who are smokers. The key, though, is to let her know that you actually care... don't scream at her, don't treat her like a child and make it taboo for her to smoke because as a teenager, she'll do it anyway only you won't know it!

Answer 2

First act like nothing is wrong, sometimes the guilt just comes out of people. Most of the time it works. or, Make up a story like this "Honey, when I was a kid, i had a friend that smoked, and i think you are at an age that we should really talk about this. It is horrible to smoke. etc." This is a great way for the guilt to build up. if this doesn't work just punish her. Take away her favorite thing. Every cigarette missing, a week is added.

Answer 3

I think you should have a talk with her about how bad cigarettes are for your health and make sure you cover more bases than just getting lung cancer. Tell her about how it makes your teeth and nails yellow and makes your skin age and makes you smell bad. Because when I was 13 and started smoking I wouldve thought alot more about it if I knew the effects rather than that it was just bad and I wasnt supposed to do it. As for punishment I dont think there is much you could do that would actually work unless you got creative and found some type of way to scare her.

Answer 4

Tell her about all the harmful ingredients in cigarettes. How addicting it is and that smokers really don't get anything out of it so it's a stupid thing to do. Show her people with chronic bronchitis and emphysema and that still smoke in spite of it all let her talk to them if you know any. My aunt would get so bad she had to be in a wheelchair, she couldn't even breath enough to walk and she still smokes. Show her the high taxes of cigarettes in some states like Michigan where I live it cost $5 a pack and soon all states are going to do this, talk about how much money smokers waste. Ground her for a couple weeks, She does it because her friends do so restrict her from seeing her friends for months while giving her knowledge at the same time. As for everyone elses comments about her being grown, obviously thirteen year olds are not grown, her property is your property.

Answer 5

I don't think book smarts has anything to do with her trying cigarettes. It's just curiosity. Maybe if you feel she is mature enough, you could look up some photos online of some of the cancer that cigarette smoking causes. This might make her think about how nasty and dangerous cigarettes really are. I tried smoking once out of curiosity when I was very young and my parents tried to make me smoke the whole pack. I cried soooo much that they finally gave in and I didn't try them again, but I feel it would be better to show the real proof on the damage caused by smoking. But you will have to be the one to judge her maturity level for this. I hope this helps!!

Answer 6

i dont know, my kids father is currently looking at having his legs amputated, he started smoking when he was 11. If he gives up smoking it will buy him time and stop his condition progressing as fast. He says he cant do it. Smoking is very addictive both physically and phsycologically. When i gave up i went through an absolutly horrendous time. I think may be finding some information about the harm smoking can do, especially at 13 when the body is developing, all that carbon dioxide being carried around in the blood wont allow her to grow properly. Tell her that when she sleeps at night her body wont be resting, it will be busy her heart working ten to the dozen to get rid of the poisons she has taken into her body in time it will weaken her heart. Her skin wont renew itself properly and shes more likely to have spots. Shell smell like an ashtray. After 2 years she wont unless shes lucky have the choice wether to buy or not to buy cigs, she be addicted. shell think she can give up any time she wants until the day comes when she wants her money for something else and she gets narky because she hasnt got one. Tell her i smoked for 19 years and must have burnt £1900.00 in that time. I dont think punishment will work as if someone tells you you cannot do something it makes you want to do it more. And you certainly cannot stop her smoking if that is what she decides to do. She will find a way. Are you in usa or uk. in england there are smoking cessation clinics may be they have some info to help. best wishes

Answer 7

punishment is not the answer here because if you do she will work harder to do it anyway. Talk to her about the relationship you have with each other and how important it is to keep things open between you, that honesty builds trust. If she doesnt bring it up then you bring it up. dont assume she is smoking could belong to a friend of hers she was holding them for. could be hers and which case you should talk to her about the health issuse and if you need to take her to the cancer treatment place nearest you and show her what smoking future holds for her. it is important to educate her not beat her down. you want her to stop above all not make her find a better way to hide it because kids do rebel and you know I speak the truth you were once a child. understanding and talking is the key here, smart kid you say should be a pretty easy thing.

Answer 8

hmm i'll tell you something that has worked for me in the past. I did it to my brother and believe me it works (several people have tried it).

Get other type of cigarettes, non filter and stronger than the ones she has (i don't smoke so i don't know how to describe them). wake her up early in the morning and have dark coffee (no sugar no milk) for both of you. Tell her that you found cigarettes in her pocket and if she wants to smoke she'd do it the right way! So, tell her that cigarettes go together with dark coffee and press her to drink the coffee and smoke one cigarette after the other (you'll find the way). Be cool and believe me after that she'll run to the bathroom and through up...trust she'll never touch a cigarette again! Nothing is worst than the smell of a cigarette and dark coffee early in the morning especially for a kid her age.

If that doesn't work (which i doubt) tell her that her pocket money will cover her cigarettes expenses too. So she has to choose between spending everyday money for cigarettes or buying something else she might need.

Answer 9

If she is normally a good kid, then I would think you could give her a good talking to. Give her the common sense talk about cigarettes. On the otherhand if you or the other parent do smoke that talk might go out the window. Ask her why she might think so many people who smoke would want to quit if cigarettes are such a great thing. Tell her they make you smelly... and boys won't like that. :-)

Answer 10

I think you should ask yourself a few questions first. Do you smoke? Do any of your relatives smoke? Do her friends smoke? Do your family members smoke? If any of these questions are answered with a yes then you most likely knew this day would come. Personally I would explain the health risks involved with such a practice along with the financial drain. Don't overdue the health risks as that will just annoy her. Be her friend and besupportive so that she does not rebel. Be an open ear not a judge/jury/executioner.