Nursery Rhymes?

Question

Jack and Jill Went up the hill
to smoke some marijuanna.
Jack got high and dropped his fly
and said, "jill, do you wanna?"

Jill said yes and dropped her dress
and then they had some fun.
but silly Jill forgot the Pill
and now they have a son!


Jack and Jill went up the hill
For just an itty bitty.
Jill’s now two months overdue,
And Jack has left the city


Jack and Jill went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed her a**
Now two of his front teeth are missing


Jack and Jill went up the hill
so Jack could lick Jill's f*nny.
Jack got a shock
and a mouthful of c*ck
cos Jill's a f***ing tranny.

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Mary had a little lamb
and the doctor screamed
But when Old McDonald had a farm
the midwife fainted.

Mary had a little blouse
and it was blown to bits
and everywhere that Mary went
it showed her little t!ts


Mary had a little skirt
'twas split right up the front
and everywhere that Mary went
it showed her little c*nt

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry!
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept up beside her
'twas Little Boy Blue with a horn.

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Humpty Dumpty f**ked a fat whore,
Humpty Dumpty f**ked her some more,
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
Bent the b**ch over and f**ked her again.

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1000 sticks of dynamite sitting on a wall
1000 sticks of dynamite sitting on a wall
And if one stick of dynamite should accidentally fall...
There'll be no sticks of dynamite and no f**king wall

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My friend Billy
Had a ten foot willy,
He showed it to the girl next door.
She thought it was a snake
And hit it with a rake
And now its only 4 ft 4.

Answer 1

Mary had a little pig
she kept it fat and plastered
And when the price of pork went up
she shot the little bastard

Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead
now it goes to school with her
between 2 hunks of bread.

Humpty dumpty sat on awall
humpty dumpty had a great fall'
all the kings horses
and all the kings men
had scrambled eggs
for breakfast again

Hy diddle diddle the cat took a piddle
all over the bedside clock
the little dog laughed to see such fun
then died of electric shock

here was alittle girl who had a little curl
right in the middle of her forehead
when she was good she was very very very good
But when she was bad
she got a fur coat jewels a waterfront condo and a sports car.

lol love the additions.

Answer 2

Cute

Answer 3

Cute

Answer 4

I like them but what's the question?

Answer 5

those are spectacular sir! made my day at this boring bank i work at :)

Answer 6

haha

Answer 7

Those are funny!

Answer 8

Very funny. :)

Answer 9

very hilarious

Answer 10

HAHAHAHAHAHA