How do I let someone I work with know that she seriously annoys me without hurting her feelings?

Question

It's small stuff that she does (check my blogs for a few) but over the course of a day, five days a week, it takes a toll on you.

Honey27 I have tried that and she goes at it even harder.

lees_sword I keep my distance from her. I don't say anything to her unless I absolutely have to. She comes to my work space with these things all the time.

Answer 1

I am going through the same thing! It is impossible and I get it from more than one person at work. I think it is because I don't tell them to get the bleep out of my cubicle!! I didn't read your blog...but I can just imagine. I have 3 people who tell me about their personal lives all day long. Sometimes I turn away and start working on a report and THEY STILL HANG AROUND!! I am beginning to realize that I need to tell them that i can only talk during my breaks.

I know if I am directly rude to them or tell them I don't want to talk to them, they will say I am not a team player or go to HR and say I am harrassing them.

Answer 2

First, please recognize that your feelings of being annoyed are your feelings. She isn't annoying you, but rather, you're allowing yourself to feel annoyed about her behavior.

Second, a personal attack will probably just make both people feel worse.

If you want her to stop doing a certain behavior (but make sure your motives for this are reasonable), you can simply ask her something like,
, I'd really like to talk right now, but I'm working, and I find it hard to concentrate when you're around. Maybe we could have this conversation after work?

If you make it sufficiently about your lack of concentration and not about her personality, you won't offend, but she won't come around as often.

Answer 3

Hmm, I don't know if you can tell someone they are annoying without hurting their feelings, but it might make her stop. To be a little less harsh try picking some specific behavior that annoys you and say "It really bothers me when you..... while I am trying to work". I think she is doing it for attention though.

Answer 4

Just ignore her and be distant. She'll get the hint.

Answer 5

Stop first and ask yourself if that is not in retaliation for your annoying her.

Answer 6

Ignore her.

Answer 7

you can't. either suck it up, or be rude