My step son is a monster! Help!?

Question

We have joint custody of my step son. We have different rules than his mom does (she's a dead beat mom and lets him run amok). How do my husband and I grab the reins and simmer him down. I cant take him anywhere without him running around and screaming. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

You have to be firm, tell him that his behavior is not going to be accepted. Then follow through every single time with time out, loss of a privilege, or a dessert. His age is a contributing factor. His cognitive abilitites will determine what tactics you need to use. Don't let him run around and scream. It may ruin your good time or your husband's, but one of you needs to take him out of the store, theatre, etc. and put him in time out. As long as you don't give into a tantrum, you will be teaching him that they are not effective means of getting what he wants. Good luck to you. And the Nanny 911 suggestion is also not bad. She's pretty good with the wild ones, but she has mega patience!
Good luck to you. Don't count out your library!

For MollyP, that's just sickening. Great. Suggest abuse!

Answer 2

Part of it may be from the other household, but much of it is probably him testing your limits. Whatever you do (time out, loss of priviledges, etc.) stay calm and be direct. Make sure he understands that these are the rules when he's with you. Most importantly - be consistant!! It's hard enough for kids to deal with different rules at different houses, make sure the rules and consequenses and rewards stay the same at your house. Most of all be patient - it takes extra time because he is only there part-time. In the mean time, let him know he will not get to go anywhere or do fun stuff with you guys until he can show that he knows how to behave properly - and follow through with it. Best of luck!

Answer 3

Kids are remarkably intelligent, if you're both firm and consistent, he'll catch on that the rules are different when he's not with Mom.

There's no quick way to get him to start acting appropriately though, and proper discipline is more difficult when you're out, so I'd suggest keeping mostly to places where his behaviour is more acceptable (parks, McDonald's playplaces, etc.) until he starts showing some self-control.

As for discipline, if he refuses to stay in "time-out", crib or high chair can be substituted. Putting him in time-out leaves him associating being ignored with his improper behaviour, so long as you do pay attention to him the rest of the time.

Answer 4

Enforce the rules. Discipline him. Tell him that his mom might let him do it, but as long as he's in your home he won't act like that. Even if he's just a toddler, they understand. My 2-year-old knows what he can and can't do at my house and others' houses.

Answer 5

I totally agree with the person above me about Nanny 911. We watch Supernanny everytime it comes on and Jo gives wonderful advice. You should watch it and take notes. My girlfriend has 2 kids. One lives with us, one lives with their father. I am a very stern, but fair, person, they know this is our house, so its our rules. I dont take any crap, but I am fair.

Answer 6

Tough one. Have you ever watch Nanny 911. Try letting him know (when you get a routine/schedule) that he is not at his mommy's house, he is at your house and when he is there he goes by your guy's rules. Good luck.

Answer 7

you have to be firm with him...he has to know that you mean business...you also need to back up your actions...for example if you tell him "if you hit the dog again, you will sit in the naughty chair"....and if he hits the dog again, put him in the naughty chair...it will probably take a good couple times of him getting disciplined before he realizes that there will be consequences...good luck!

Answer 8

whip his behind the minute you get home and then tell him why your spanking him.