I have a nine yr old son that just turn 9 a few days ago and it's seems to me everytime he's told to something that he knows he's supposed to do he gets an attitude with who evers telling him what to do. And a for me I wasn't raised to catch an attitude with my parents when I was told something and not be punished. Im not trying to raise him the same way that I was raised but I do want him to know he has to respect people in order to get respect.
2006-07-18 08:28:30 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I have two boys, 12 & 6 and they are both a handful - these teen years are going to be HARD. Using the belt doesn't work like it did when we were children, but it's far better than this passive parenting stuff they keep talking about. Just keep talking to the boy - let him know your there. The last thing you want to do is let is go so that he winds up shooting up some school somewhere. When all else fails - BEAT 'EM!
2006-07-18 08:35:28 · answer #1 · answered by Ondine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have given him the power by not having any consequences for his actions. In order to get him to do what you ask, set a boundary of maybe he can't play his favorite game for a 3 days or watch TV or something that he loves. Punishment is part of parenting. It benefits the child, not you. If he thinks or knows you won't do anything, he will continue to refuse to do what is asked. You are the adult here and he needs the discipline that you provide. Yes, you may not feel good in doing what is necessary, but he will never respect your wishes until you do.
Here is a site that might help you:
http://childparenting.about.com/od/discipline/a/gaincompliance.htm
There are alot of good sites out there besides this one.
Good luck!
Mother of two boys, 14 and 12
2006-07-18 08:45:11 · answer #2 · answered by Twisted Maggie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everytime he catches an attitude or refuses to do something, put him in a time out. But you have to be consistent and firm and not let up. Eventually he should get the idea that there are consequences for his actions. Also when he does something good give him plenty of praise.
2006-07-18 08:34:25 · answer #3 · answered by tmills883 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if your married then get your husband involved and sit with him, or you can do this by your self if you are not married. just sit with your son and tell him that you dont know why he is acting this way that if he wants to talk about it you will listen to what he has to say so that you two can try and fix the situation. then if that works it might all stop there, but if it doesnt then tell him look i am the adult here the parent here, and you dont have a choice but to listen, now you can make this easy on yourself and do what i tell you to do and know that i make you do things cause i love you and want you to grow up to be a good man, or we can do this the hard way and i will stil make you do the things you need to do to be a good man and you can fight me on it all you want but you will not win cause i make the rules and i will do what i have to do even if i have to ground you and take your stuff away. so wich way will it be the easy way or the hard way, you choose but i will stil make all the calls around here, and you will listen. good luck this is not easy but you are the parent not him, you know what is best for him not him.
2006-07-18 08:38:26 · answer #4 · answered by Blonds Rock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you know that stubbornness can run in families? it could be a part of his personality. you should talk to him. dont punish him. ask him how he would feel if you had the same attitude about paying the bills, buying clothes and providing for his entertainment. look him in the eyes and make him discuss the issues with you in a real discussion. repeat this process until he understands.
2006-07-18 08:37:28 · answer #5 · answered by Darth Plagueis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this,but it only gets worse.Mine will be eleven next month and sometimes I'm amazed I have any hair left.No one can really help,either.It seems to be even worse with girls sometimes,so there's a little comfort in that fact.Just be patient.This,too,shall pass.I repeat that to myself all the time.It's a little more realistic than trying to find a "Happy Place".When you live with attitude like that,there ARE no happy places!
2006-07-18 08:34:38 · answer #6 · answered by kimberli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At this age, boys are usually just begining to become defiant, especially towards mom. I would let dad take over a bit and reinforce your rules. I am not talking about spankings, I am talking about a good talk. Dads voice seems to get to them, not yelling just a strong low tone. My husband had a good sit down withall our boys and told them that thier #1 job is to listen to mom. And that he would be very disapointed if he learned that they were ever disrespectful to his wife, this has seemed to work wonders in our house, we have 7 kids!
2006-07-18 08:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by admyr75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
child could have Oppositional Deffiant disorder which starts at age 8. I would advise u to seek a child therapist who could help u before it gets worse!
2006-07-18 08:40:00 · answer #8 · answered by stewiegrif27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's what wippings are for. you can wip your child without causing extreme physical harm. It's the same way that police officers beat bad guys when they don't listen. they don't cause them enough harm to kill them or hurt them too much, just enough to gain control. that's why parents are bigger and smarter than their children. that way, they have the advantage to gain control, if they reall wanted to
2006-07-18 08:51:39 · answer #9 · answered by lilly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well when he asks you for something like a toy,or to do something for him ignore him see if he likes it and then make the comparison as to his behavior when he is asked to do something and now that he knows how it feels does he want to make other feel like that..
2006-07-18 08:34:26 · answer #10 · answered by sherry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋