My youngest sister has been living with me & my husband for 2 years. It has been a long road & very destructive in our relationship. Whenever my sister does something stupid, it hurts me and my husband. Last night my 18 year sister came in at 2pm when was suppose to be in at 10am (because she is taking summer classes). This is not the only time she has done. She does other things that she isn't suppose to do. Anyway, my husband got very upset and decided that we need to send her back to the midwest without consulting me. I totally agree with him, however, I do not agree with how he handled the situation. He called her out her name several times and put me in a situation where I had to choose between him or my sister. I understand his frustration, however, I totally do not agree with him being disrespectful towards my sister or me. I believe as an adult he could have handled that situation better. I want to leave him now for his behavior. Who is in the wrong & what should I do?
2006-07-18 08:18:07 · 18 answers · asked by Looking 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your husband should have let you know what he was going to do, that is clear... but it also sounds like he got fed up with the situation and there was most likely a "last straw" that happened when you weren't around. All in all though, when someone is living under your roof, they respect your authority. If your sister wasn't doing that, and you were putting off (which I suspect you were), then I'd have to say that your husband did what he thought was best.
2006-07-18 08:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by porterismmovement 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand hubby's frustration. My son came back home and lived with myself and my husband. Son totally started disrespecting both is us. I think the biggest difference here is that we spoke about it all the time. It sounds like your husband kept alot of frustration in and he simply blew up. I would not even consider leaving him over this and he could have handled it better but I also know how irritating it is when you are trying to help a family member out and you are the ones being disrespected by her! Your sister has completely disregarded the house rules and is in the wrong here. By the way, my son was told to leave if he could not follow our rules. He found a place the next day.
2006-07-18 08:27:23 · answer #2 · answered by celestine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
True he should have discussed it with you and true he may be disrespectful toward your sister - but hasn't she been disrespectful to him? Men often return behavior as they are treated or as they perceive themselves being treated. He's your husband - you are supposed to have loyalty to him - whereas it seems like your sister has been a wedge between you - maybe it is best if she goes back home for now since she is causing problems in your home and marriage (which needs to be a priority with you) and see if you and your husband can talk it out and come to an understanding once she's gone and MAYBE have her come back with rules in place and a 1-2-3 strikes you are back to the midwest if she breaks them.
2006-07-18 12:54:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 years is a long time to intrude on someones marriage. I think your husband is right, however, it could have been handled better, but with that type of frustration I can understand why he did what he did. Dont you think your sister disrespected you and your husband first by not playing by the rules? if she moved in with you when she was sixteen, obvilously she had problems where she lived before. I dont think i'd throw a marriage away because my little immature sister is causing problems with it.
2006-07-18 08:27:07 · answer #4 · answered by jrgaskin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to leave him because he got fed up with your irresponsible sister and lost his patience? It sounds to me like your husband was pretty darned tolerant of your sister for WAY too long. You say he was disrespectful to you. Have you considered how your sister's actions have been disrespectful to both you and your husband? Yet you allowed that behavior. Sure, go ahead and leave him...there are plenty of women out there that would love to have a guy who has been patient enough to put up with that BS for TWO YEARS. I think you will really regret it if you do though. (in case you didn't get it...I am being a bit sarcastic about you leaving him)
2006-07-18 08:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by hotandtastylady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
both are in the wrong, but you dont need to leave your husband for it, thats not necessary. just sit with your husband and tell him that you agree with him on what to do with her but that he has to understand in a marriage it has to be talked about with the other partner before acting on it. tell him that you dont agree with how he handled it that next time something comes up wiat to talk to you about it so that you can do it together and in the right way. tell him that sending her away was ok but that both of you could have done it together without being mean to her. tell her that she was being disrespectful, that you love her but that you dont except that kind of thing in your house and since she dont want to listen she has to go back. and leave it at that. your husband needs to know marriage is a two way street and that you both have to have a part in decision making. good luck.
2006-07-18 08:31:45 · answer #6 · answered by Blonds Rock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has no obligation to look after your sister. Your sister is an adult and should act like one. She should abide by you and your husband's rules if she wants to continue living in your home. Your sister is 18--let her sort out her own life. No need to be mad at your husband. He's fed up and just wanted to take action because of his anger.
2006-07-18 08:43:03 · answer #7 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to leave your husband over one bad instance? They're both wrong but maybe you shouldn't base you're desicion on one thing. Look at everything that has happened over the time your sister has lived with you. Maybe you should just have your sister leave and see if you can repair your relationship with your husband.
2006-07-18 08:27:39 · answer #8 · answered by bella_4624_19 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that if you agree with your husband, then you should stand by what he said and talk to him privately about the situation and how you think he should have handled it differently. That way, you present a united front to your sister, so she doesn't try to use this situation to manipulate her way into staying with you even longer and possibly driving a wedge between you and your husband.
2006-07-18 08:22:03 · answer #9 · answered by Julia L. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could under no circumstances make that statement. First, as a results of the indisputable fact that is inaccurate, as Ted had already left his spouse before taking on with you, and 2d, as a results of the indisputable fact that is certain to inflame Jimmy. many people may cost different issues better, yet believe is standard to all relationships, and is one in each of the most major situation in maximum mess ups. You stated you and Jimmy were mutually, and it seems that like you're sharing a house as you said . you also did not factor out even if Jimmy is searching at you to be a spouse, yet enable's presume he's wondering that way.. in case you want to make your courting with Jimmy artwork you'll favor quite some patience, and a even as. you could sit down and function a quiet communicate with him and clarify the positives you may want to furnish. concentration on them. tell him of your love for him and favor for a destiny. someplace in there you could factor out that you go with him to believe you're worth of his believe, yet do no longer comprehend a thanks to attempt this, as a results of previous. ASK him for suggestion
2016-10-14 22:32:50 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋