My girlfriend diceded to switch jobs from a gas station attendent, to a Wal-Mart unloader (throwing boxes all day) I told her that even though it pays better that she will not like the job. That was 3 months ago and now she refuses to go to work, she finds some reason. I wouldn't mind but were both into a 1 year lease in this apartment . Last night I asked her if we could be more like roommates then lovers and make up an agreement to split the bills (rent, phone, and comsumers energy) and sign it. Then I wouldn't have to worry about want she is doing and vis versa. We really moved the relationship REALLY!! fast. She got really really got mad. She tells me that I am her mate and she wants to be with me for life, like all the time. Was that a bad thing to ask her to be roommates instead of lovers?
2006-07-18 07:01:30 · 19 answers · asked by Bit m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It was a bad idea when you decided to live together...now you're screwed.
2006-07-18 07:04:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you move in with someone you really get to know them. Even if you are by someones house all the time it totally changes because you see the really 24/7 paying bills, being lazy part of people that they usually kept to them selfs.It's best that you do this now before you get stuck in a marriage. Both of your names are on the lease? Because if just one of you signed then the other can move out and you can get another roommate. I am a woman and I feel for her but I feel for you more. You should be glad that you have decide this before you walked down the aisle.
2006-07-18 07:09:52 · answer #2 · answered by nm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, dude...you screwed up. I understand your plight, really I do, but you can't just ask her all of a sudden to stop being a lover and start paying you! Dang! You went about it all wrong. This should have been decided before y'all ever moved in together. Maybe you could convince her to put some of the bill in her name. Like the Cable/phone/Internet or the electricity. That way she can build up good credit and it takes some of the pressure of you. You have a good point, y'all should be splitting things evenly, a relationship is supposed to be equal. But I think you may have gone about it he wrong way. Apologize and sincerely express your concerns that you may not be able to handle all the bills yourself.
2006-07-18 07:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by queenfanara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find out how much it will cost you to break the lease... could be last months rent and damage deposit. The way I look at it is this, if all it costs you is a few thousand dollars to get her out of your life, the better off you are because if it were a divorce it would cost a lot more. I know it is a bit of money, especially when you need it, but she is living off of you like a leach.
2006-07-18 07:11:07 · answer #4 · answered by jtj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, decide what you want to have, a roommate or a lover. I might be wrong but I get the feeling that you regret "having moved fast".
Anyway, being lovers doesn't mean that only you have to pay the bills, but try to explain that to her in a delicate way, because the way you put it might be interpreted and offend her.
2006-07-18 07:08:49 · answer #5 · answered by mona 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if she is serious about the relationship, she'll realize the bind you two are in...Maybe you need be completely honest with her and explain that you can't do this on your own. She may realize its real when she has to give up her bed CZ you have to bring in a roommate to help pay the rent. I'm sure sleeping on the couch isn't an option for her.
2006-07-18 07:07:49 · answer #6 · answered by myopinion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you admitted that you moved in with her kind of fast. You have put your foot in your mouth asking her to be a roommate instead of your partner. That is considered a break-up. Consider it a learning experience. I don't know if you can make things right with her. If you want to try, you can tell her that you care about her but you feel like you two rushed into a serious relationship. Discuss what your options are and consider splitting the early move-out fee and cutting your losses for the sake of your friendship. Living together after all of this is not going to be fun, you really should both move out or one of you should get a different roommate.
I was in a similar situation, except my ex decided to start seeing someone else and broke up with me before things got serious with her. (At least he didn't endanger me, but I was mad and I had no time to adjust to the break-up before having to adjust to him going out with someone else) We were living together and we were on a tight budget. He said I didn't have to move out, but if I wanted him to move out, he would, if I could find another roommate. I am so glad I didn't stay! The two weeks that it took me to find another place to live were pure hell even though I moved into the spare bedroom. Being around someone who you cared about, while they are coming home late or not at all from being with someone else, immediately after they broke up with you, and no place to escape. That is not home. That is the reality of it. Don't hurt her more than you have to.
If you love her, work it out and apologise for how you sounded. Tell her you didn't want to break up with her. If you're done, say so and be firm and honest, work out the financial details.
Best wishes.
2006-07-18 07:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by Sara B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, First of all you shouldn't of put yourself in that kind of position.. If you had any thought this would be the out come. But You know now you told her and she can either refuse you or keep hanging on you like back pack.
If you don't want to go on with this relationship then tell her straight up and tell her it's done. You should leave the apartment.. cause that would be better.. Get yourself out of this posistion.. Doesn't look like she likes her job and doesn't want to go to work. So I would get yourself out of this un healthy relationship,.,, Go on...
You told her your feelings now it's her problem to sort things out.. If she doesn't want to. and desides to try to keep this still. then get the heck out of there ...
man... ok...
She would be the type to stock!
2006-07-18 07:13:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be pretty serious to make her your roommate and hope you haven't made a mistake. I would tell her that she still needs to pay her half of the bills no matter what, that she can't live off of you. We all have bits of our jobs that we don't like but we still have to live. Good luck.
2006-07-18 07:06:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah. it was the wrong thing to say. but you still call her your girlfriend! but what do you want? as she is upset with her job, then you move from lovers 2 friends. it is really difficult to accept for a woman. ecpesially you are still staying together. that must be hard. all advise i can give is that you patch things up and all she needs is your moral support and help her look for a new job. good luck
2006-07-18 07:07:33 · answer #10 · answered by blommekie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea.... Darling, quits is quits, move out and on...... Are you quiting because of bills? Or you really can't imagine living with this woman for the rest of your life. If its just bills, you need to talk to her. If you want out, then leave. There's no happy medium here. Good Luck!
2006-07-18 07:09:55 · answer #11 · answered by flower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋