My boyfriend of a year and half boss just was fired. Now they want him to do both jobs until the position is filled. My boyfriend hopes that he will get the position and so do I. However, the last three weeks have been hell. He works 55-60 hours and is so cranky. We use to never argue, now I feel thats all we do. I know that once the position is filled things will get better, but what do I do in the meantime?
2006-07-18 06:45:31 · 27 answers · asked by pirategurl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to totally put your feelings aside here, and totally look at the situation he's in. He's probably doing all this so he could provide a better life for the two of you, so a little affirmation of what he's doing from you would be great. Treat him to an amazing back massage, and make him some delicious meals. If he doesn't have time for you right now, take this time to bond with some girl friends, while assuring him that your there for whenever he's ready to be with you. Doing little things for him and understanding his grouchiness will let him be assured that your a good partner for him. Relationships are built not when things are easy, but when you can get through the rough patches. And if you want to be with him for the long haul, you can stand to make some sacrifices for him.
2006-07-18 06:53:58 · answer #1 · answered by Holly p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
Don't really know how things are between the both of you.
In case you already live together, let him find some small messages with the topic, that you stand by him and you will support him (expel. Post-it with smiley ...).
Trouble point usually is, that you'd like to spend more time with him or he comes home late. When he comes in, he is probably stressed and tired. The only thing you can actually do is, to let him feel welcome after all (grumpy bears gets smoother with some honey ;-) ) and don't ask him about his day. That's the last thing he needs.
Don't wanna lie, but you're going through a rough time now. If you really hope him to get the job, then support him and as sorry as I feel for you, you got to take his moods til a certain point as well. Just don't let him think he can do whatever he wants with your feelings.
I went with my ex-boyfriend through such a time. Our problems:
1. He got a good job but in America in the end. On the other side of the world to me.
2. I didn't see the signs, that the job started to become more important to him then our realtionship.
So wish you the best and a lot of patience. You'll need it!
Cheers!
2006-07-18 07:03:05 · answer #2 · answered by joann 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's probably easier for me to say than for you to do, but I would suggest you read a good self-help book like "The power of Now" or the bible and try to get some inspiration to give you strenght during this difficult time. Like you say, this will probably all go away after things settle. In the meantime, think that if you are feeling stressed, even though you are not the one working the 60 hrs a week; How do you think your boyfriend feels, after he is the one putting up with all of the additional demands. Think of yourself as being a great gift-bearer, who has the power to put your boyfriend's mind at ease when he gets home from a stressful day at work. Do something nice for him, like pasting an appreciation note on the bathroom mirror, or under his pillow. That way, he'll be reminded of what a wonderful person he chose to have as a partner. I hope this helps and good luck.
2006-07-18 06:54:52 · answer #3 · answered by confuzdprincess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your guy, you're just going to have to be very patient, and utterly understanding. He's exhausted, stressed out to the point of crying (possibly literally), and all he sees is that his GF is wanting MORE of his time and emotional energy; he's feeling totally drained and has nothing left to give.
I suggest you just hold off on being too demanding (which is NOT to say that I'm suggesting that you were in the first place) of his time & affections till the position gets filled. Give him an ear to vent to (because he probably is bursting with hateful things to say from all the stress). Try to make his life as easy as possible and hold onto the fact that you KNOW that this is not a permanent thing.
Good luck
2006-07-18 06:51:44 · answer #4 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. He's going through a rough patch; adjusting to a new, difficult schedule and not knowing what will happen with his job must be very draining both emotionally and physically. It takes 2 to argue. Give him support, space, and time, without withdrawing or punishing him, and let him have a chance to adjust. If he doesn't get better, and the situation doesn't resolve, then you may have some deeper issues to address, but cross that bridge only if you come to it.
2006-07-18 06:56:39 · answer #5 · answered by functionary01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make him feel comfortable when he comes home and loved. I know it's hard working all those hours yet it doesn't excuse rudeness. If both of you can't handle tough times like these then you need lots of practice if you want things to work in the long run. Life is full of things like this and with marriage and any other long term relationship it just gets worse. In the mean time just try communication and project your love so that he knows you're there for him.
2006-07-18 06:50:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you're going through sounds very hard, but just remember that despite his crankiness he loves you & you love him. Things at work will soon simmer down & you two will be your old selves again. Don't start thinking about throwing everything away from one controversy, because there is more to come I'm sure. Just remember that love conquers all & pray for God to help your boyfriend & you through this hard time. Faith & love is all you really need in love besides each other. Good luck & I hope it all works out for you, SOON! LOL
2006-07-18 06:52:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to be understanding that he's doing this for both of you. Be nice to him. Cook him dinner and take care of him. Working that much will make anyone cranky. Don't be demanding of him right now. Give him time. Tell him how you love him and you're proud of him for doing so good at work
2006-07-18 06:49:52 · answer #8 · answered by Brandie C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him space... Let him vent and get his work done. Just be there just to support him all the way and try not to get involved to much in his life right now cause hes trying to do these two jobs.. so Just don't get on his bad side and want to start up an argument... just back off for a little bit but still be there for him.. just give him space during this time.. and support him through it all.
believe me.. it's your best bet!
2006-07-18 06:52:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be supportive.
you know he's had a long day.. a long week.. going on a long month. the only thing you can do is be supportive. you know he probably doesn't have time to call you like he did (if he did) so don't get upset when he doesn't and just try and be as mellow as possible. If he gets home and you ask him how his day was and he doesn't elaborate.. its because he doesn't want to, not because he's pissed at you. If he doesn't want to have sex its because he's stressed, not because he doesn't want you. Things will get better.. you just have to be patient and VERY understanding!
2006-07-18 06:49:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋