We have been divorcered for 8 years and he left me for a younger woman that he has married, already divorced, and still living with her. I am remarried for 6 years but my family doesn't like my husband now. My bother told me my husband now couldn't be a pall-bearer but was going to allow my ex to do it. I have two children by him and that is why my brother said he wanted him there. They know he is a trouble maker but still allow him to be there. My other brother is a dope head and is living with my Mom now and my brother also allows that. I have told him to watch him because he will suck Mom dry for drugs. My aunt just gave my brother a 17, 000 dollar car because he is living with Mom. Will someone explain to me why the good brother would allow all this? I didn't go to the funeral because of all this. Now I am hurting very badly and can't get if out of my mind. Can anyone explain why is this happening?
2006-07-18 06:27:21 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should have gone to the funeral no matter what. He was your father. You shouldn't let squabbles get in the way of showing your love for your father and grieving for him at his funeral.
Anyway, don't let your family bother you. Life isn't fair. People treat people badly for the dumbest reasons sometimes. People are not consistent. Try not to let the bad apples in your family ruin things.
2006-07-18 06:33:25 · answer #1 · answered by chris42050 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't mention whether your ex-husband and your father stayed in touch and were close. If they did and were, I can understand why your brother asked him to be a pall bearer. Other than that, I'm not sure why your brother would be so insensitive to your wishes. At the same time (and I'm speaking as someone who has lost both my husband and both parents) you are feeling very emotional and sad now, and that may be impacting your thoughts, too. You need to concentrate on happy memories of your father and release the negative feelings you have. You will only hurt yourself if you don't.
2006-07-18 06:35:55 · answer #2 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, Can you say Dys-funct-ional???
I'm sorry that you have to go through all of this. Best thing for you to do is stand by your husband since this is out of your hands. When there is a drug addict in the family, people get scared because they addicted person is ALWAYS unpredictable. Family members feel sorry for them and lavish them with everything in hopes they will stop, but this is not the case. Once an addict, always an addict.
Don't worry about attending your father's funeral...I'm sure he would have understood. Same sort of thing happened in my family last year when my grandfather passed away....I looked at it as sort of a cleansing and need to move on. If you mom allows your brother to run the show then it's her own fault. TRUST ME, you cannot do anything. ANd once your mom passes, your brother will have no one to suck dry and abuse!
Don't let him abuse you...physically, emotionally, or verbally!
2006-07-18 06:39:47 · answer #3 · answered by fourcolor4u2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If ya'll were married for so awhile and your family got close to him of course he is going to go to a close family members funeral. There is nothing wrong with that. You should have went to the funeral no matter who was going to be there. A funeral is not a place to bring up old wounds or to socialize. It is to pay your respects to the person thats gone. You need to stand up for yourself and suck it up and act like it doesn't bother you. As for your druggie brother... get him help and talk to your mom.
2006-07-18 06:34:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is between her, and whoever invited her (The MIL) no longer you. there is going to be an ex, you think of you're extra desirable than her and he or she would be able to be on the funeral do no longer make this approximately you, his dad only died and your squawking like a poultry in his ear approximately his ex? what a heartless woman you're. you may call his spouse "no longer an eye-catching man or woman" yet your habit in this makes you very grotesque. improve up.
2016-11-02 07:05:49 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe your are dealing with a totally dysfunctional family and you might want to consider counseling in order to understand it all and learn how to deal with it for yourself.
You don't have any control over the decisions your mom and brothers make, and if it's hurting you and not them, well then you might consider removing yourself from their dysfunction and getting on with your life to find your peace with it all.
2006-07-18 06:34:52 · answer #6 · answered by yep_yep_2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be pissed too - i think that to have your ex hold up your fathers coffin would be such an insult and so inappropriate. After all he broke your heart. he has no place at your family functions. I'm sorry to hear your bro can't understand that.
2006-07-18 06:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by Elle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES
He is your ex, but still invloved in others lives
Get over your own selfishness and deal with your families best interests. Sorry to be so harsh
2006-07-18 06:30:55 · answer #8 · answered by billyandgaby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You not going to the funeral was inexcusable.
You owe your mother an apology.
2006-07-18 06:31:46 · answer #9 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are justified. Your brother does not know this person as well as you do. He should respect your feelings.
2006-07-18 06:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by okamgomezulu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋