Am I too sensitive? Empty Nest Syndrome is heart wrenching! and premature?

Question

My son hasen't even left yet for college. He leaves in 1 month, but we are getting things together for it now.
I am divorced and I also have a daughter who is grown, but lives nearby, she has been out of the house for 4 years now, and since then, it's just been me and my son.
After he leaves, It will be the first time in my entire life that I have ever lived alone, which is a very strange concept to me.
I am very close to both of my kids, and I feel so lost not being their "protector" anymore. I visit my daughter quite a bit, but I won't see my son until the holidays. I am very proud of him, but I feel selfish in the sense that I am now the one that's lost. I also feel stupid in the sense that I am so depressed now, even before he leaves. I can't imagine what I will be feeling when he is actually gone.
Am I being too sensitive?

Answer 1

NO, you are not being too sensitive but be careful you do not make him feel guilty.We forget our children also feel a sense of responsibilty if we raised them right. I have four children adnwith each one I went through what you are going through my youngest is getting ready to graduwate high school and I too am feeling the pangs of loss. But my son said something to me one day that made me sit up and fly right so to speak. He said Mom I don't think I am going to go to College. And when I asked him why not he said because he did not want to make me cry the way I did for all our other children. I do not want to ever be the thing that stands inmy childrens way of a bright and hopeful future. I told my son he was to not worry that him going to College is a very normal thing and Inwill get over this feeling of melancholy and am looking forward to doing things I have not been able to do for 25 yrs. This made him feel better and he agreed to go to college. You need to realize that while your children are your life, you need to make sure you are a sound and well rounded person so you can be there when the grandkids come along.

Answer 2

No, you're not being too sensitive, but if this interferes with your normally functioning day then yes it might be. I think the fear and anticipation is magnifying this more than the actual outcome. In fact you may find your entire life you have been seeing to the needs of children and now you need to shift rails and convert that energy for yourself.

It's important to not make your son the anchor of your life while he's in school. He needs to move on. Avoid giving him a guilt trip. He needs to focus on school. His mothering days are over.

Why not make a list of things you always wanted to do and start at the top. Caution, this is a time for yourself. There is a long line of men standing at the employment office just for you. You don't need another man to unleash your gift. Turn this talent inward, on yourself.

This is a transition time and you may consider having friends or daughter stay overs on long lonely times.

Answer 3

I know it's hard but force yourself not to think like that. Companionship is something we all yearn for. Your son is going out to live his life and make lots of money so he can support you when the time comes and your daughter lives nearby so If you are feeling alone then you can always visit her. This is a great opportunity to get a hobby (take a cooking class, hiking, piano, singing, art) whatever that you can grow with and it will take up time. On an even more positive note, you might meet a nice man to hang out with and go out with on occasion and you will meet new friends who are in similar situations like you. Good Luck don't be sad me my brother and my sister all live with my dad and he is scared that we will never leave lol

Answer 4

Speaking as a person who is going off to college and leaving their mother to stay in an apartment alone... i can say that your feelings are normal and to be expected but continue to be supportive and asset in the transition of your son because the change will be hard on the both of you, but as long as you keep the lines of communication open and talk regularly, it will be a good experience for both of you.

Answer 5

You are not being too sensitive as that is a perfectly natural feeling. I have never been on my own either (2 kids both at home), but my friend has and she used to talk about it all of the time. Things change and you must change as well, but it will get better in time as I am sure that he is going to miss you terribly as well. I am sure that he will come home on the weekends as well.

Answer 6

No, you are very normal. There is a name for this because it happens not only to you but also others. There are lots of parents going through the same thing. The bet thing to do is seek out others in the same place. Find new activities to keep you mind off your lose.

Keep in mind he is not leaving forever. He is just an e-mail or phone call away.

Answer 7

Of course you are - and you have every right to be. The umbilical cord is finally cut and you are now a free bird. Do everything you have ever wanted to do - visit far away places, sell your house and move into a smaller property. Spend your money and enjoy life to the full. You have the opportunity for the next couple of years to live life to the full, for when the grandchildren come, you will be back to the never ending ritual of baby sitting, etc., etc., etc., etc....... Come on, enjoy yourself....

Answer 8

It is natural to feel that way. Are you an animal lover? Now would be a good time to get a puppy or kitten or some other animal that will show some form of affection (puppies are the best for this). Your children will always love you. It will be hard at first, but you will be fine.

Answer 9

Its natural for you to feel this way... This i going to be a huge change in your life, and its not going to be easy but..... You have to be strong for your son so he can move on with his life with out feeling guilty about leaving you. Accept the fact that he has college and start planning new fun things you can do now that you have the house to your self!

Answer 10

You should get out of the house yourself!! Find a new man or just a man friend... Every mom feels that way HELLO!!! You've been with them forever and now they are on their own!! My sister moved away to Oregan and I miss her to DEATH she is my only true friend and i really miss her wow now you got me crying!!! Everything will be okay!