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so why are you behaving like that?

2006-07-18 05:42:22 · 14 answers · asked by Satan's Girl 2 in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

14 answers

BEER TROUBLESHOOTING

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

2006-07-18 20:31:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

No, I can say my abc's. a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z. and i can stand on one foot and touch the tip of my nose with my finger.

2006-07-18 05:59:18 · answer #2 · answered by curstadevon 4 · 0 0

ok i will say i'm a little drunk officer but this gun is tho because i see blood

2006-07-18 08:09:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I'm nearly not as think as you drunk I am - REALLY!!! I do have blood in my alcohol stream.

2006-07-18 06:42:56 · answer #4 · answered by MajickAlice 3 · 0 0

drunk?let me cheak; qwertyabcdefmnlkjhg um what am i drunk?um ooh i act like this all the time ;

2006-07-18 07:31:17 · answer #5 · answered by casper 6 · 0 0

Nope. Just nuts

2006-07-18 05:48:34 · answer #6 · answered by snowdogdreams 4 · 0 0

No, I just took some Viagra, that's why.
Oops!
I wasn't supposed to say that!

2006-07-18 05:46:44 · answer #7 · answered by junsumoney 3 · 0 0

dah, dah dah dah dah dah da da da daaah.hhrrgh.
mmmmmmm aauuggggg aaauuugggg. geet mmee
maaaaa bbbbbbbbeerrrrr. fanks

2006-07-18 06:11:43 · answer #8 · answered by alloy 4 · 0 0

well, i'm not as think as you drunk i am, anywho

2006-07-18 05:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by dwh 3 · 0 0

i swear to drunk im not god!

2006-07-18 05:48:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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