BEER TROUBLESHOOTING
SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.
SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.
SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.
SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.
SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.
SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.
SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.
SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.
SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.
SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.
SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.
SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.
SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.
SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.
2006-07-18 20:31:15
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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No, I can say my abc's. a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z. and i can stand on one foot and touch the tip of my nose with my finger.
2006-07-18 05:59:18
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answer #2
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answered by curstadevon 4
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ok i will say i'm a little drunk officer but this gun is tho because i see blood
2006-07-18 08:09:59
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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I'm nearly not as think as you drunk I am - REALLY!!! I do have blood in my alcohol stream.
2006-07-18 06:42:56
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answer #4
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answered by MajickAlice 3
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drunk?let me cheak; qwertyabcdefmnlkjhg um what am i drunk?um ooh i act like this all the time ;
2006-07-18 07:31:17
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answer #5
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answered by casper 6
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Nope. Just nuts
2006-07-18 05:48:34
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answer #6
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answered by snowdogdreams 4
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No, I just took some Viagra, that's why.
Oops!
I wasn't supposed to say that!
2006-07-18 05:46:44
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answer #7
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answered by junsumoney 3
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dah, dah dah dah dah dah da da da daaah.hhrrgh.
mmmmmmm aauuggggg aaauuugggg. geet mmee
maaaaa bbbbbbbbeerrrrr. fanks
2006-07-18 06:11:43
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answer #8
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answered by alloy 4
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well, i'm not as think as you drunk i am, anywho
2006-07-18 05:51:05
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answer #9
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answered by dwh 3
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i swear to drunk im not god!
2006-07-18 05:48:51
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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