for the guys: can you ever love a child that is not your own as much as you love the mother? can you except that mother and child come as a package? what about if you have your own child or children with this woman, would you treat all kids equally?
and Ladies out there in this position?
2006-07-18 05:25:23 · 16 answers · asked by Jan 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
sorry, i meant ACCEPT
2006-07-18 05:26:06 · update #1
The answer is yes. My mother got out of a relationship with a horrible man and came bearing one child to a different country. My father met her and they fell in love. They then got married and had two kids, one of the two is me. I have never been treated different then my half-brother. It is a case by case issue. A guy can love a woman, her child, and their children equally, and if there is a man who loves you he will love the child because all guys know they are a package deal.
2006-07-18 05:34:16 · answer #1 · answered by nate_ramos_33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I never intended to have children then I would probably never accept someone else's child as my own unless the child was almost perfect. I would accept that the child is part of the deal but I would also expect the mother to realize that I am not required to be a surrogate father to the child. If I did not bring it into the world, I should not be expected to go out of my way for the child. If I had my own child with the mother I would love it far more than I would love someone else's child.
2006-07-18 05:40:53 · answer #2 · answered by jdscorrupted 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love someone, you have to love the package. If you cannot accept the child as part of the deal, then it's not worth it. It would be the same as entering a relationship then adopting a child. It's not yours, but you vow to love them as your own.
You need to raise all children as "yours AND hers". Segregating a family as such is playing favorites, which is not fair to any person. you need to realize any future children are not just half brothers or half sisters- they share the same blood through one parent, and need to be loved and cherished as if they were never "different".
If you are asking for advice, I would, on a date, ask how they would react if you, as a couple, adopted a child. Ask "how would you treat them?" If you get a favorable answer, like "I would love them as my own" blah-blah-blah, then let them know you have a child. If they are against the idea of adopting, then drop the bomb. If they, at that moment, cannot accept the idea of someone being a "pre-"mother, then you know that this person is not worth spending time with if they cannot accept the fact there is a child involved.
2006-07-18 05:32:56 · answer #3 · answered by babefirstclass 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married a girl who had a 2 year old that was not mine. It was pretty scary, and very difficult to get used to, but I loved my wife...and now love my son.
BUT....I only chose to go into this relationship because the kid was so young, and I would be the father in his mind.
If he was older, I probably would not have been as interested. I would not want to deal with that drama, and situation.
Also...the sperm donor of my son is not in the picture in any way. I didn't want to be involved in that either. It's not really fun to have a happy family, then see my wife's ex take my son away. lol....that's just messed up. I'm not strong enough for that...but that's just me. I know plenty of people think that is normal.
2006-07-18 05:30:12 · answer #4 · answered by Nightwish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes I think they can fall in love with the children more then the lady. I have recentley had a relationship to end and he was more upset over not being able to see my children then not seeing me. Guess it depends on the man.
2006-07-18 11:37:44 · answer #5 · answered by Day Lover 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would love a woman and definitely the child or children. Come on, children are adorable.
2006-07-18 05:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i take her i take all that come with her . Now where i have seen the problem is the child dose not except the new man to family.
2006-07-18 05:31:19 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I already did that once. I adopted them, treatedthem as my own, did everything I would do for my own. In the end I was abandoned by them, so no, I'll never ever do it again.
2006-07-18 05:30:45 · answer #8 · answered by dread pirate lavenderbeard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are few men out there that can, it's the women who are less likely to treat step children equal
2006-07-18 05:28:19 · answer #9 · answered by momie_2bee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no problem with kids my friends have kids and i take care of them like my own.I dated a lady with a little girl and it was not a issue
2006-07-18 05:31:10 · answer #10 · answered by polockpete40 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋