Making Love to a Woman
MAKING COFFEE
Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir.. gently, and firmly.
You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.
LAYING A CARPET
Laying a carpet is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, nail her, then walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.
HANGING WALLPAPER
Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.
PUTTING UP A TENT
Putting up a tent, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an'.. slip in to the old bag.
WASHING A CAR
Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.
BEING IN THERAPY
And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You.. get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.
BEING IN A CRASH
Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.
GOING FISHING
Going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied.
Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.
2006-07-18 05:13:27 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
please rate
2006-07-18 05:17:40 · update #1
OMG! where'd you get all this from?!?!?!
HAHAHAHA
2006-07-18 05:15:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 3⤋
Well,
I don't stir my coffee - I like it black, no sugar
I'm too impatient to check dimensions
I don't have a pipe
I'd never bring an old bag camping
I generally wind up breathing hard
I try not to evade ANYTHING
trying to relax works best before impact
I never check to see if there are no kinks - actually I like the kinks
And yet, I always make sure there is room for a beer
2006-07-18 12:27:37 · answer #2 · answered by TheDoctor 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10/10
2006-07-18 12:17:06 · answer #3 · answered by ► Gavilan ◄ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
going fishing is the best. next is washing a car. good job:-)
2006-07-18 12:16:21 · answer #4 · answered by vanilla_bean_dream 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha i love this especially laying the carpet
2006-07-18 14:29:29 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"washing a car"... i love having my bodywork caressed... and i love being taken for a drive afterwords! :)
2006-07-18 12:29:54 · answer #6 · answered by .·:*RENE*:·. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
0 Not really a question now is it.
2006-07-18 12:23:25 · answer #7 · answered by snowdogdreams 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have way too much time on your hands.
2006-07-18 12:16:15 · answer #8 · answered by NBGirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, what was your question again?
2006-07-18 12:17:14 · answer #9 · answered by Annette G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok thanks...uhm.....I'm going to go "wash my car" now.......
2006-07-18 12:17:16 · answer #10 · answered by il_caffe_mi_rende_nervosa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
strange but true, lol
2006-07-18 13:04:32 · answer #11 · answered by curstadevon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋