My stepson is driving me crazy!! He is almost 17 and is still in the 8th grade. He likes to sneak out of the house and also "steals" things (but doesn't know what happened to them). I told his father if he didn't straighten up, the boy would have to go or I would. Am I wrong for saying this?
2006-07-18 05:08:34 · 26 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, you are not wrong for saying this. Sometimes we have to give ultimatums to get peoples' attention. And in this case, someone needs to get your husband's attention. He has raise your stepson and have allowed him to get away with far too much for too long. He is not learning to be responsible and how to be accountable for his actions. This is why he steals and sneaks around. He has no conscious and knows no consquences. These are real character issues that must be taught by your husband. You could teach him too, but without the support and enforcement of his dad, you will not get far. I get the feeling that your stepson will dismiss anything that comes from you alone. But stay encouraged. Hopefully, what you have just said to your husband will wake him up and realizing that he could lose you will spawn him to action. But more than that, the well being of his son and his growth into a responsible adult should be enough incentive for him to whip this boy into shape once and for all. He needs to let him know now that he is out of the house at 18, so he'd better start making plans on how he is going to live on his own.
2006-07-18 05:19:40 · answer #1 · answered by Tolina 1 · 7⤊ 1⤋
NO, you are not wrong.He should know better at his age, but I don't understand why he's still in the 8th grade at age 17, I was looking for graduation at that age.
If I had a kid who acted that way, they would straiten thier act up. In Exodus Chapter 20 you can find the ten commandments, one which says "Thou shall not steal", we are also told to Honor Thy Mother and Thy Father.
Maybe some Bible studying may help.
Again you are not wrong, a person can put up with so much & then
Hope I have been of some help,being single.
2006-07-18 12:33:36 · answer #2 · answered by kb9kbu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong if you mean to back it up. If you are saying it to get your way, you ARE wrong. You are putting your husband in a really bad position. This is his son, after all. Even though he is a problem, are you expecting father to choose you over son? Would you want your parent to choose a new partner over you? I would say "I cannot deal with this any longer. Can we get him some help? OR I don't want to be the one to break you and your son apart, so I think I am going to have to leave." And, then do it.
I hated it that my ex-husband would not take care of his son's problems, but when I heard his son tell his mother on the phone that he wanted to move in with her because the problems between me and him were too bothersome, I told my husband and said I think it is time for me to leave. Our marriage was a mess because of this kid and the kid was a mess and it was starting to mess up my other stepson and my daughter. So, I am divorced again.
2006-07-18 12:17:02 · answer #3 · answered by jboatright57 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your stepson needs a lot of help. I know it may seem he is just lazy, but he probably has a learning disorder and that will wreak havoc on someone's life. They start acting out because they feel so terrible within.
He definitely has a behavior problem and probably needs some type of counselling. I think you should be more supportive of options to help him and try to find a solution, rather than just expecting him to be okay. He probably has a serious problem and you need to find that out as a parent (even a stepparent). Kids don't know how to fix themselves.
That said, if he is still a little ****, kick his *** out.
2006-07-18 12:14:52 · answer #4 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are asking the father to choose between his child or you. He needs positive reinforcement not negative. This boy needs serious counseling. He is crying out for help. I know one can reach the end of their rope. He is rebelling against you and his father. If the father will not help him make an appointment with the local mental health clinic. They will be able to make him see things through a different angle.
2006-07-18 12:19:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make your husband chose between his son or you.
Both you and your husband need to sit down and figure out what is good for your stepson. Whether it be counseling or military school.
There's obviously something wrong with him, otherwise he wouldn't have the need to act this way.
Get him help a.s.a.p. it won't be easy, but he needs both of your support to get through this.
Good Luck.
2006-07-18 12:23:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is your stepson. Is it your house? If it is, you should not go anywhere. If its not your house, and you love your spouse discuss a solution to the problem for your son, as your son. You are not wrong to say what you feel. But you do not want to give your spouse the alternative to chose between his flesh and blood and his wife. He may chose his son.
2006-07-18 12:17:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, That is a tough call. My step-mom told my dad that he had to pick her or me and I was kicked out of the house. I was the top of my graduating class and had a great job. So There is a little difference, but still... I think if he picks anyone of his own children, he isn't that good of a dad, plus who ever made him choose doesn't deserve to have children.
2006-07-18 12:20:21 · answer #8 · answered by collegebusygirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be theres a communication gap between you two. He could be feeling left out and craving for attention, or wants to irk you not being able to accept you as his new mother. Only a disturbed & insecured could behave this way. Try spending time together making him feel wanted, loved,cared.Ignore his behaviour and donot react. That could instigate him all the more to throw tantrums. Time and Patience could be trying out factors. Try it with a positive mind. God will always help you.
2006-07-18 12:20:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not wrong for saying this.I had a brother in law I had to take care of he was the same way.So I had told my ex-husband to help me and he would not so I got tired of it and left it was hard but that was the best thing that happened to me
2006-07-18 12:14:43 · answer #10 · answered by vick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋