If you were abandoned by your dad because he didnt want to pay child support did u try to find him later?

Question

My dad abandoned me because he didnt want to pay child support, now im 17 and im trying to hunt his *** down.
When my mom had me, she asked him, what will you do if she comes knocking on your door at 18 looking for you, and he said he'll say "im sorry, i dont know you" and shut the door. But I dont want to be just another statistic, i want to contact his sorry ***.

He even gave me a sister that i met when i was 9, so she doesnt have a father either.

Is anybody in the same situtation?

p.s. the reason why i am mad is because, when i was born, he went inside our home while we were out of state and shot bullet holes in our house,and destoryed everything, all my toys, clothes, everything. and He made his girlfriend at the time cut all my hair off.

Answer 1

I think it is a good thing to try and find him. However, you are doing it for the wrong reasons. Try approaching the situation without anger and then you can let it go. Otherwise it will still affect you after you all meet. Good luck! I hope you don't hurt him.

Answer 2

I would like to give you something to think about but before I do let me tell you this no I am not in the same situation you are in and I wouldn't want to wish that on anybody to have a father just up and leave and never come back.

But what I want to say to you is this when you go and seek out your father and I have nothing but faith you will find him but you need to come at this from another level, meaning there might be a chance that he will not know you and he might slam the door in your face but look at it from this point you have tried to do something for your own reasons for you think that you are doing the right thing. I know that you are angry because of what he has done with you and your little sister but you have to do the right thing for her to because she is watching you as well and how you are going to react to the situation.

So his sorry butt didn't want to pay child support but you don't have to live your life angry and hateful that is not a good thing for you and that is not showing what you need to help your little sister to learn. You want to be an example to her not the unexample. Get my meaning!

I am asking you to think about what you do before you do it. I would hate to see you hurt by this even though you are still hurting from what has happened all ready.

Answer 3

I am sorry for your situation. I really do not understand people who do not want to be apart of their kid's lives. Our situtations are very different but in away the same. My dad paid child support off and on until I started getting into my late teens. I saw him about once every couple of months when he paid child support. Once that stopped so did the visits. I guess my dad figured if he was paying for us he may as well get his money's worth. After he stopped paying he said f*ck it I guess, because I rarely see him, or talk to him. He treats my sister the same way. Although he does talk to her sometimes. So you see our situations are different, I know my dad... but barely... I know him but he ignores me like I don't exsist. I am sorry for your situation. I hope you do find your father if that is what you want. I hope that you might form a relationship. It is never too late. Good luck.

Answer 4

Yeah I can some what relate to you my mom left my dad when I was about 8 and the only reason she did what she did was because he was treating her like $h!T so she walked out one night and we never knew nothing about him till about 2 years ago. My mom ran into my uncle(his brother) and that's kind of what happen we got in touch with him after 12 years which was weird. He was living out of the country and when we started keeping in touch with him he then came back to the U.S and we've been keeping in touch ever since, One thing I do advice you is when you see your dad after so long it's going to be the weirdest feeling ever but hey he is your father and thats how I look at it I do to have two lil brother and sister but they are smaller and they are back home. Good Luck looking for you dad and I hope everything goes good.

Answer 5

I advise you to accept the fact that he is scum and be glad you had a mother who loved you. I know it is painful. You must not internalize this though. It is not your fault. There is no excuse for what he did. You cannot help who your biological parents are.

Instead of tracking him down, sit down and write a letter saying what you would say to him if you were to track him down. Then say "I am free" and rip up the letter as you keep saying that. It's a good release.

Answer 6

I didn't set out to find my Dad, but I did 20 years later. I was actually trying to find my little sisters who lived with him and we ended up speaking to each other over the phone....he hasn't changed one bit. Everyone's experience is different just because mine wasn't good doesn't mean yours can't be. Good luck!!!

Answer 7

i live with my dad and grandma, my dad divorced my mom. she lost her job, her house, both her kids, and her husband. she has tried to pay child support, but cant. she is living with friends that can barely support her.

there are situations where you cant be mad at the parent who is gone.

Answer 8

I can't figure out why you would wnat to track down such a jerk, unless it's to tell him off. Really, you're probably better off without him in your life. Let him stay lost.

Answer 9

no I am not my mom left my dad when I was young but I have never felt the need to look for him, a**hole

Answer 10

Don't look for him. He is bad news.