My 9 year old girl wants to know about me and her father having sex I don't If I should her or not please help

Question

I guess she heard me moaing in the middle of the night and heard him asking for more. So I guess this morning she came in and asked me about it I told her I would tell her later because I didn't know wheater I should tell her or not. And she also asked me should she do it too. You know I told her she could talk to me about anything but never this until she was like 14 15. So plz tell me what to do.

Answer 1

You are on the right track wait and tell her about it when she gets a little older where she will understand what sex is all about. I can give you a good example of what you are going through, I have two boys ages 11 and 9 and both ask the same questions about the same questions your daughter has asked you, and what I do is simple I tell them it is a movie on television and then they are satisfied and they go about there business.

But they also ask other questions pertaining about sex and I tell them the truth and that is when you are more mature and able to understand what I am saying then I will tell you what you need to know. But until then I will give you only half answers to your question. (This is also a test to see if they are ready to hear it or not)

So that is how I deal with it and so far it has worked like a charm and they will continue to ask but just let them know that you will give them the answers to there questions soon.

Answer 2

Well you might have brought it on a bit early but it was coming sooner or later and here it is. It is time for the birds and the bees talk with your daughter. Might as well rather than put her off and give a wrong impression. You said later so now you must be certain to bring the subject back up because your initial reaction means that she probably will not.

You know the facts You know what you believe. Now go to the library or do some research on the web about just how to tell her about love and sex and the changes her body will soon undergo. You will be embarassed and so will she but do not let that stop you. You will always be a little embarassed but you will never have a better time to do this.

Once that question is out there it will not go away but it might go underground if you don't follow through with serious information. She'll find the answers somewhere, from someone, wouldn't you rather it be you then her equally ignorant friends, or some sweaty teenage boy.

And between you, me and the lamp post, the lamp post don't need ta hear what's going on in the bedroom. Mum's the word or at least tone it down. Good Luck with The Talk

Answer 3

Actually, 9 is a pretty normal age for kids to ask questions like this, especially where she overheard stuff. Your daughter seems to be pretty smart- asking if she should be doing whatever it was that made you moan the other night. You probably have taught her a lot by example, and she wants to be like you- Kudos!!

If I were in your shoes- my 9-yr-old daugher has asked this...

Hopefully I've already laid a good foundation by using the proper names for body parts- no slang or nicknames.

I'd tell her that when a man and a woman are married, there are lots of ways they show their love for each other. Some are ok in public- hugs, holding hands, etc. Some are more private and special. That was what Daddy and I were doing last night.

I'd explain that where she's not married, yet, she shouldn't be doing it, yet. (Please take into account that this is a reflection of my Christian beliefs)

If you feel comfortable (probably not yet, from what you've said), you can go into the mechanics of the sex act. I wouldn't cover how it feels quite yet. That part can wait till she's... 30, or at LEAST out of high school.

Actually, when I was in 5th grade, we saw a little presentation on sexual maturation. Somewhere within the next 2 or 3 years, when I realized the mechanics of reproduction, I thought, "A man is going to put his what where??!? EEEWWW- Gross!!! Nasty- I will NEVER...." Um, yeah, and now I'm married- going on 7 years... the laugh's on me, eh?

Answer 4

Here's the problem - would you rather have her hear it from you, with correct, morally guided information, or would you rather have her hear about it from her friends or on the school bus, getting information that is misleading and could lean to terrible things like pregnancy and STD's? Part of the reason kids become sexually active early is the mystery of it and the forbidden nature of it. By telling your daughter, you can eliminate some of the mystery, and satisfy her curiosity rather than further arouse it.

The most damaging thing you could do is lie about it. I the end, being honest and forthright will be the best approach to build understanding and a strong relationship with you through her teen years.

Bear in mind that many girls start Menstruation as early as 10 years old. She should know what to expect and why it happens. My sisters had no idea what was going on when they got their periods for the first time and it was a terrifying experience.

IN my home, we have tried to be as open and honest with our children, and sex questions come up. We do not get graphic with intimate details about exact whats and hows of lovemaking, but we do discuss key points about the "plumbing" involved and the loving, intimate relationship perspective of sex.

Hope I helped, good luck!

Answer 5

This is tough and embarrassing. There are books and websites that talk about talking to your kids about sex. You don't have to wait until she is 14 or 15--that's actually too late.

You can sow the seeds right now for your daughter having a healthy understanding of sex (an understanding that isn't full of misinformation that could get her into trouble later, i.e., Coke can be used as a contraceptive) and you can share your values with her.

I found a few websites that have some good information on talking to kids your daughter's age about sex.

Answer 6

Basically tell her that Mommy and Daddy were just showing each other how much they loved each other and this isn't something that a 9 year old does. I don't know what you believe in but maybe you can even say that it's something special shared between two grownups that love each other? I wouldn't get into the details of it because she may not be able to grasp it just yet. Definitely be open and honest with her about it so that when she does hear things she can come to you for clarity. HTH

Answer 7

Well, frankly, if you told her she could come to you about anything, you are obligated to tell her. She doesn't need details or anything. Just let her know that you were having sex (she probably knows what it is), and that most mommies and daddies do it. Also, make sure you tell her it is not appropriate for her to be having sex at such a young age.

Also, take advantage of this opportunity. At 14 or 15, kids generally learn ever thing they need to know from friends or from the Internet, so it will probably be happening less and less.

Answer 8

I also have a 9 yr old girl. And, unfortunately caught us in the act a few times. She brought it up to me that she knew what we were doing. I simply told her that all married couples connect with each other in that way, and that it is normal. It shows that we love each other. I also told her it was too personal for her to ask questions about her father and I's sexual relationship and that the only thing she needed to know was it was out way of showing we love each other. As far as your daughter asking about if she should do it...tell her it is something that is shared between married couples. Tell her it is something that she need not to focus on right now. Yes, continue to tell her that she can talk to you about "anything", and always will, but she is too young at this point to worry about details of sex. Tell her also that it is natural for her to be curious, but not to be too curious right now.

Answer 9

They are learning more and more at an early age. You don't have to go into details, but just tell her that when two people are married and in love like you and her father, they are things that go on to make it special, and when the feeling is good, you make certain noises and ask for more, tell her that when she gets a little older you will explain it more and that she will understand, ot take a look at these web sites

Answer 10

you cant tell a kid never to talk about something or they will ask others and get wrong info or be made to feel dirty and gross about something then will get mixed feelings later which will be ploblematic, plus the older they get the less likely they are to talk to you about stuff and since girls are getting pregnant at 12-13, waiting till she is 14-15 will be too late and you will find it more awkward to talk to her....

be factual but dont offer more than she asks but allow her to ask more...

"me and your dad love each other and we were doing something that MARRIED ADULTS do to show their love"
she asks :what is that?
"we do what is called having sex, or called making love, women have a whole in their bodies near where their pee comes out and their husband can put his penis inside of it.. this is how babies get made but not all the time"

she need to know NOW before she gets uncomfortable asking