How would I come out of the pagan "broom closet" to my friends and family?

Question

I'd really like to know the best way to do this without everyone, including those in my community, looking down on me. There are some in my family that know already, like my sister-in-law, but coming out to my parents, in-laws and the like just scares me. I also live in a very small southern town, and I'd like to be left alone. I have not came out yet mainly b/c my son starts school here this year, and I don't want him to be bothered or made fun of because of the way I believe. My husband is fine with it, too, by the way.

I'd like to know what you all think. Christians, you can answer if it's helpful to me. Please don't preach, b/c you can't change my mind about what I believe. Pagans, Wiccans or anyone who has been in a similar situation, I'd love to hear how you handled it and what happened, etc.

Thank you in advance!!!!

For paul_t, I used the word "pagan" as a general term. I'm actually Wiccan, if that makes a difference.

Answer 1

You don't need to tell anyone what your religion is. It is a private issue. The main reasons I see for "coming out of the broom closet" is the shock value. It doesn't sound like that is your intention so why do it? I'm not saying that you should hide who you are, but there are no reasons to get extremely vocal about it. You can do as you like as long as it harms none. Will "coming out" harm anyone? Then don't do it.

If someone asks you what your religion is, then do what I do. I just answer that it's mine. If I get questions from someone who has seen a piece of jewelry or a decoration in my home, I answer simply that these are my beliefs. It's not easy. Discrimination is everywhere. Misconception is even more prevalent.

Just continue to be the good person that you are and when they do figure out your beliefs you will have helped to dis-spell many myths about Wicca. All of my family know my beliefs and I've yet to be the one to tell them. They see it and some ask questions which I answer. Some ignore it and continue to "pray" for me. Some no longer come to my home. That's OK too. These are not people who I really want to be around anyway.

We don't need to convince anyone that we are right and they are wrong.
We also don't require that anyone agrees with us.
We don't need to shock anyone.
All we need to do is to live according to our beliefs.

I'll light a candle for you to help you find the path you need to follow on this issue. I would also suggest that you meditate on this before you decide what to do. You will make the right decision for you and for your family. Whatever the decision or the outcome it will put you on the path that you need to follow at this time.
BTW I'm not Wiccan but do follow my own path.

BB

Answer 2

I had a similar issue a few years ago. I really wanted to live my life in such a way that I was very open and honest about who I am and what I believe. That's not always possible. I know there are people in my family who will never, ever accept me as a Pagan, so I haven't told them. I'm more open with friends or co-workers after I've spent enough time around them to get a feel for how they will react.

When I was struggling with it, many people told me to just come out to everyone and let them deal with their issues. I don't necessarily think that's the way to go. This may not be the popular opinion, but I think you should be selective about who you are honest with. The other parents at my kid's school don't know because I don't feel it's any of their business.

Whatever you choose is best for you, I wish you luck.

Answer 3

Well i don't think it would be a good idea to gather them all up and blurt out the news. This is going to be a shock. they need to be eased into something like this. Leave little clues like a book about candle magic, wear a shirt that has a Wiccan phrase on it. you could wear a pentacle but that does raise a drastic reaction from people that don't know any better. When people ask you questions about things then you can tell them a little. You don't have to tell them everything just what you feel they need to know. You also don't have to tell everyone in your community. I only tell the ones I am close to and the ones that I feel need to know. I hope that you are in a loving, caring and understanding family. One that wont judge you for what you believe. As you well know not everyone will accept this and think you are a bad person. Just as you said your mind can't be changed, neither can theirs. Believe in yourself and have the courage to do what you feel is right.

Blessed Be

Answer 4

If you are actually in a small Southern town and plan to come out as pagan, you are asking for MAJOR trouble and MAJOR trouble for you child. You can bet you'll be left alone. Pariah comes to mind.

I would not judge you, but there are many who will. I can't control them, obviously.

Walk carefully. The choice you make will stay with you and will be hard to undo.

I've met other pagans who lived in small Southern towns. They were isolated and unhappy. Most wound up moving away, typically to college towns or larger cities where they found others of their own beliefs or could gain anonymity in the hugeness of the crowds.

Answer 5

I honestly do not know what to tell you. I have came to the conclusion that most "religions" pretty much come down to some type of a Power of 3 whether it be Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Or Earth, Wind and Sky or what ever. Being a Spiritual person is wonderful, Religion is what seperates people. I was raised and am a christian. It is not my place to judge you or anyone else. The Bible says "Judge ye not, lest ye be judged" . As long as you are not worshiping Satan I personally don't have a problem.
Good luck to you.
Blessed Be.

Answer 6

I don't recommend coming out of the broom closet at all, except to people you know very well and trust will not condemn you for it, especially in the uber-intolerant Bible belt.

I face the same issue as an atheist. There are very few people in the world of fleshware that know my position, and those that do figured it out for themselves. I think I've only actually told 2 people in real life.

You are under no obligation to share your religious beliefs with others. If they start asking you, change the subject. If they persist, tell them as a matter of policy, you don't think any good can come from discussing religion and you believe it's a private matter. If they insist, tell them to mind their own business.

Answer 7

Now relax....Your family will still love you.
Nobody's going to burn you at the stake for what you want to do; You follow your own path. It's nobody's business HOW or WHAT you believe. I am just like you and have been for decades...other than me, 2 people know (up til now, I guess). Nobody in my family knows, though. I live in a teeny MidWest town, hid my Beliefs from 'Uncle Sam' for 20+ years.
The best way to handle it is to use your better judgement/instinct with your family....meditate...nobody knows 'em like you, so if you suspect any 'predictable' reaction, keep it low key until YOU feel the time is right or not. True Friends won't hold it against you if they're TRUE friends. ye may email me if you like, 'cos I share your apprehension
cheers, and good luck

Answer 8

firstly you sound like a pretty desent person so the people should be okay with it. but the fact that you have a son changes a lot of things. most people hate to see children grow up in this sort of situation. my advice is really not the advice your looking for but it may be what you need. become christian. i know you said dont preach and whatever but its what i think. if you cant even try that then you should really easily and slowly give the people small signs until you finally sit them down and have a nice long talk about it.

Answer 9

If I were you I wouldn't worry about 'coming out'. Unless someone starts up a conversation about religion. Then (if they're Christian) they may try to convert but they won't look down on you or anything because 'Love thy neighbor' is in the bible. If they do look down on you, who cares? Then they'd be picking and choosing which part of the bible to follow. And I don't think your kid will be made fun of. I'm in 10th grade and I've never heard anyone be made fun of because of what they're parents believe. Or even what they believe.

Answer 10

don't come out at all. Why do you want to? Surely you know what beliefs that they hold dear. Like me, for example, I am a casual wiccan, and full time atheist. But, I don't tell people who I know would freak out or burst into tears because they think that means I'm going to hell. If you know it will only bother someone to hear about your personal beliefs, keep them private. Enjoy who you are and what you believe, but don't open yourself up for ridicule unecessarily. blessed be