New Mothers.?

Question

I would like to have kids down the road but, not anytime soon. People keep telling me, after having kids, you loose interest in all the things you enjoyed as a young woman like going to movies, parties, out with friends, etc. Is this true? Because, that is one of the main things that scares me about having kids, I don't want to change in that sense. I mean, I know after having a family, your life is all about your kids, but I would still like to take out time for myself too.

Answer 1

Just goes to show you have made the right decision then! regardless of age you are not responsible nor mature enough to have children and there is nothing wrong with that at all. You should enjoy life while you can go out party with your friends do all those things you might feel will weigh you down because when you are a mother you are no longer first priority . Don't take it the wrong way your life doesn't stop it just changes, your group of friends may change, you can still go to the movies you just need a sitter. You will still have parties except they would probably be birthday or family parties. So enjoy your life, then one day you may surprise yourself and decide its the right time for you

Answer 2

I don't think so, it's just a matter of finding the time to do it. I would like to go out to a movie every now and then if I could. There are a lot of people who still have social lives after kids, as long as they stay responsible and keep the kid's best interests in mind.

Answer 3

Don't worry, you won't lose too many of your interests. I think with some people, it was maturing that caused them to lose interest, not having kids. No, I'm not saying you are immature, just that in some cases, they just moved past wanting to do that kind of stuff. Also, there is the tired factor. Alot of mothers just find themselves too tired to do some of those things. But, if you can make time for yourself, I say do it. Don't let it worry you that you will change too much from what you are now. And be really sure that your partner/husband shares the same views on what you will do with your spare time. Hope that helps:)

Answer 4

I am a young mother of 3, I still make time to go to a party, or hang out at a club with my friends. My husband and I make date nights 2 x a month we'll see a movie and go to dinner. It's how you let your children effect your life. Some people revolve their life around their children. However you still need to be you. You will have to adjust and your time for yourself is limited but you find ways to work it out. Good luck when the time comes.

Answer 5

My son has changed my life. HE is what I live for. I think your concerns are valid, and most people have those feelings and thoughts. Children DO change you, but not in a bad way...they give you a new outlook on life and a new perspective. They are amazing and wonderful. You'll still have time for you, you'll just have to plan it better and you won't get as much of it. You'll have new forms of entertainment, and other things will become fun and exciting for you. You adapt and change, but it's the best thing that I've ever done. I can't put into words what I feel for my son and how he has changed my life. If you choose to have children you'll understand what I mean.

Answer 6

I disagree... once having a baby you look more forward to partaking in those activities. It is true that its not always possible to do them as often or on a whim... however you appreciate your "grown up" time much much more after you have kids and i think that i enjoy that time more now than prior to having kids. Back then things were taken for granted. Now with tons of careful planning on childcare to go out and all that fun stuff, its a sense of accomplishment.

Answer 7

I think if you are worried about your life changing then maybe you arent ready for kids. Im not trying to be mean and say you would make a bad mother--but I have seen too many moms push their kids aside because they dont want them to interefere with their plans to go out and hang with their friends.

Babies are totally dependant on you. Once you have kids your life does revolve around them. If you cant handle that, then wait for a while. Im not saying that you cant take a night or a weekend off and send your baby to gramma, but I am saying that its not right to always be going out when you have a little baby depending on you to bond with and to keep them safe.

Answer 8

I just had my baby over a month ago, and I haven't lost interest in ANY of that! When you first have a baby, you can't get over just how darn cute he is. :o)

But then eventually that wears off a little (you'll always think he's cute) and you start to enjoy other things, like going out with friends, dates and intimacy with your husband, and all the other good stuff you had before the baby. :o)

I never lost any interest in the things I loved. Having a baby merely changed my perspective on the world a little bit.

Answer 9

I'm a great mom. but on the weekends (not every) I go to parties. Sometimes I go to the clubs with friends. Although I must say, when I had my son all I wanted to do was grow up and I thought that was the first step in it was stop going out and partying and things like that. But you soon see that if that's just a part of who you are you never stop.

Answer 10

I have 3 kids. The first was born when I was 22. It was hard to adjust, at times. But now, all my friends are having their first, and I'm an old pro...
Plus when all their kids are still babies, I'll only be 40 when my son turns 18.
However, you need to take time out for yourself... It's a balancing act