How would you react?

Question

Supose your teenage kid would run away from home for 2, 3 days just to give you a scare with the porpose to loose up the rules. Then he would call you and say he comes back if you negociate the conditions of the return. Would this make you more mad and strict or more cool in the future as you would realise you pushed him away by beeing too strict?

The age is 16

Answer 1

If this was my kid, I would let them have what they asked for, but the minute they came home, I would ship them off to boot camp.

Parents have a soul purpose in life and that is to protect our kids, sometimes that means we have to be strict. If our kids are doing stupid crap and hanging out with bad people, then yes we are going to be stricter than they would like, but we are putting your best interest at heart.

If I would have run away, my parents would have kicked my *** and sent me away to a home for bad kids. I know it wouldn't have been a bluff to try and scare me, they always followed through with everything they have told me.

If you are a responsible teenager you won't run away like a baby to get your way. Rules are made for reason, have you ever wondered why they are so strict? Did you do something in the past that made them this way, normal that is what has happened, or they remember what it was like to be a teenager and they know what they were doing at your age. Running away will only make things worse, you think they are strict now, just wait until you come home.

Answer 2

Do NOT give in, this kid is playing a grown up game!

I bet part of you worries as you need to keep him/her safe and when they run away you cannot do that and of course you care!

Why don't you have a talk around the table over a meal and listen to each other? Set some rules ie one person speaks at one time, no raised voices etc. Talk this through, with teenagers the secret is to be seen as reasonable and you could back down on some things smaller things, but not on other issues. Learn to live with each others expectations and rules, and explain why those boundries are there. Also be clear about what will happen if they are broken and never back out of that, if you say a time to come homs is and it is later use the punishment you set even if it is a minute. Also start with the priorites, rather than a huge lists of do's and don't think about what ones are important to you as a family maybe start with three but the message is set them and work through it together. If your teengaer wants to act like an adult he can take this responsibility too.

Goodluck!

Answer 3

First of all for rules to work with older teens they must have input into making those rules. What good would it do to make more or try to be more strict if he would not follow the ones you had in the 1st place. His age would help here, big diff if a young man 17, 18 or 19 then it's a whole different ball park.

Answer 4

The fact that he thinks he has a right to bribe you is totally wrong. The adult is the one who is responsible for making decisions. Not the child.

But then, it's hard to say as to what is classified as strict without knowing the details. It sounds as though he's getting to the age where he's testing his independence, and your wits.

I'd be flaming angry, and would not go easy. It sounds as if he may be at a friend's place or with family. Try calling around to find out exactly where he is. Then depending on the type of person he is, I would call his bluff. Turn up at the place he's staying with a bag of his clothes. Tell him that if he's going to act like an immature child then that is the way he will be treated.

I'm sorry but he has gone way to far with this one.

Answer 5

He must respect your rules. As long as he is living under your roof, he must respect and obey your rules. Whenever he has his own job and own life he can do whatever he wants with his life. He's trying to manipulate you. Teenagers have a tendancy of thinking that they rule everything and everyone around them. They don't listen but everyone else has to listen to them. As a parent you must stand behind your principles and don't let him intimidate you. Sooner or later he must come back home. Otherwise, where else would he go when things get really bad? Never forget; communication is very important for every relationship. It's short term pain for long term gain. When they are grown, they'll look back and thank you afterall.

Answer 6

Of course it is wrong for him to try and manipulate you this way, however keeping your child safe and at home is most important.
Getting angry will only exacerbate the situation. Stay calm and welcome the chance to discuss the rules and see if compromise on some of them is possible. It is a good thing that your child wants to discuss this, it gives you an opportunity to explain why you feel the rules you have are valid and that they are made to protect him/her. Tell your child that they may be trying to grow up too fast and that you have their safety and best interests at heart. Good Luck

Answer 7

The child must first of all not given such manners to run away!!!and the next now u must react as a real parent ,Strict in the sense .Let ur child return and then give him real good punishment .Have a nice day!

Answer 8

i don't think running away is the answer . i think u should just speak to then and tell them how u feel. the rules has to be fear for both parts. Sit down and work on a deal between u!

Answer 9

I would sit down with him and make rules that you BOTH decide on. You may have been too strict, but doing this shows him that you are willing to compromise.

Answer 10

Personally I would become more strict. If you can't respect me and my rules then I can't respect your needs and wants. Gotta give respect to get it. And non-strict parents are earned not just a given.