a lad 12 keeps calling for my son 8.this lad swears but my son likes him and calls me m ean when i say no?

Answer 1

try 2 take help of some common friend, keep ur son busy in other works and 2 keep away ur son frm him its ur duty

Answer 2

I find the age difference troublesome. Most 12-year-old boys want to hang out with friends their own age, not boys 4 years younger. At the very least, this boy will be a bad influence and will lead your son into inappropriate behavior. However, there could be a darker edge to this, the possibility of sexual abuse. Your son is flattered by the attention of an older male, but you must stand your ground and discourage this relationship. Do not under any circumstances allow these two to go off together. Explain to your son that although his "friend" seems nice, the age difference is just too great and he is not ready to do the kinds of things that a 12-year-old can do. Get your son involved with activities with boys his age so he is not available to this older boy.

Answer 3

my question is why would a 12 year old want to hang out with an 8 year old.what could they possibly have in common.If you dont want to seem like a meanie do not cut all contact off that will only hurt your son and he willl end up resenting that.I would allow them to still be friends have the child come over to play ay your house.If swearing is the main problem maybe you should sit down and have a talk with the mother of that child and find out why hes doing that and maybe something can be done to make him stop.

Answer 4

Tell your son if you were going to be mean, you'd of given that 12 year old a swift kick in the butt and washed his mouth out with soap. You're the parent not him and you meant every word of it when you say he is not to hang around that boy. The next time the 12 y/o comes calling, be the one to greet him and send him on his way.

Answer 5

Isn't parenthood wonderful ! ? ! Explain to your son that there are many different ways to say the same thing. Some language is meant to shock, offend, or hurt other people's feelings. Those are the words that just aren't allowed in this house because we love each other and we shouldn't try to hurt the feelings of those we love. If fact, a person of culture ( or nice people ) don't need to use those words because they are intelligent enough to say the same things with proper language. I know that you are an intelligent boy. Use the correct language, please. All the time.

Answer 6

Are you sure your son is not being bullied? I can't imagine why a twelve year old would want to hang around an 8 year old. I also can't fathom why there would be any doubt about someone who calls you mean for enforcing your rules as a parent. Tell him to stop calling.

Answer 7

thell the 12-year-old just how much your 8-year-old looks up to him and may be influenced by him, and (without mentioning the swearing) ask him to set a good example.
If the 12-year-old is the one asking to hang around with the 8 year old (instead of vice versa) there might be a bigger problem here

Answer 8

I lost my daughter in 2002 to a wrongful death, and I've spent much time in reverie, thinking of things I could have done better. I thought my job as parent (single parent at the age of 30) was "to protect" and I became rather hypervigilant in my efforts to fulfill this perceived task. In so doing, I made mistakes that created a pubescent rift between my daughter and me that I came to regret, even though we grew closer once puberty was done. One area was her choice of friends. I, as parent, wanted "the very best" quality of friends for my child. [I think we all become somewhat snobbish when it comes to "protecting" our children.] What I would do now, though, if I could relive the moments of her youth, would be to move with her choices instead of against them. To tell her not to see someone was a sure-fire way to guarantee that she would want to see that person more. Instead, if I were in your shoes, I would reach out to this 12-year-old. Invite him into your home and get to know him. Befriend him. He may envy your son's relationship with you if his own parent(s) are inattentive or absent from the home. Find something you like about this young man, and include him sometimes in your family events. This way, you actually have some control over the relationship, but your son is not put in a position of needing to rebel in order to get what he seems to want. I'd also suggest spending some quiet talk time with your son--let him talk; you listen and ask questions that are genuinely interested in knowing his feelings and validating his needs or choices without judgement. He'll open up to you more if you offer what I think of as a beautiful phrase: unconditional positive regard. You love him, no matter what. Maybe lay down on the grass together, looking at cloud shapes, and simply ask (without any hint of judgement), "Tell me what you like about this boy", then follow his path by asking more questions and even sharing your own first friendships stories so that you and he can remain close and so he feels he can confide in you. I so long to have these moments with my daughter once more. I missed some time with her in her teen years because I hadn't learned how to do this sort of thing--she was my first and only child. Let your son know your insecurities about being a parent and tell him how much love guides your efforts--even if those efforts may be seen as controlling or erroneous by him. Find out what he's looking for--it may have little to do with the 12-year-old, but more about what he wants for himself. He sees an older kid doing things he can't do and maybe knowing more about some things than he, and perhaps your son is smarter than his age in some ways and longs to express himself with the "freedom" he perceives in this 12-year-old. Knowing what I know about prepubescent youth, I'd say the 12-year-old may be far more insecure than your son recognizes, and the cursing is just a mask he puts on to bluff his way through. That's why I think you should start bringing the lad into your family's activities more, so your instincts and friendliness can impact upon both boys without alienating either. Hope this helps.

Answer 9

Your son is too young to be hanging out with a kid that much older than him right now. Tell him you are mean and he's going to have to get over it b/c that's the way it's going to be. Stand your ground.

Answer 10

kids have a different age range , try him out nad see how his personality stands up. if you like him then let me talk to your son, cuz your son obviously him. but if you dont like him explain that to your son and tell him to find other friends.
good luck