When i get into an argument with my boyfriend and he always bringing up his exs, telling me that him and her never argued like me and him . What should i do?
2006-07-18 00:02:10 · 18 answers · asked by caramel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OK, and why are you dating this person?
When he says that, refuse to get involved with the statement. Simply say, "That must have been wonderful for you, but I there are things that we need to resolve. I'm not going to let everything slide in hopes that you will like me more than your exes, because that would damage us in the long term." - then steer the argument directly back to the issue at hand.
If all his exes never argued with him, and that was a good thing, then why did all those relationships end?
The premise is this: real relationships will always contain arguments. That's because two individuals can't coexist without disagreeing sometimes. If you are honest with each other, arguments, however small or large, are inevitable and healthy.
You sound like the kind of person who feels like a victim most of the time. For example, you are asking what YOU can do differently in order to make HIM behave like a normal, sane person. HE should be asking himself, "why do I say such dumb, pointless stuff to my partner?".
If your are stuck in a sense of victimhood, you are probably also making arguments over silly things, or worse, you are approaching arguments trying to make him feel guilty rather than trying to find a better way to do things in future. Think about that a little bit before engaging in an argument. Approach him with this attitude: "I feel unhappy about this. I need to talk a little and get your opinion. Then we can work out a way that both of us can feel better."
The alternative attitude is damaging, i.e.: "You bastard, I can't believe this, how could you do this to me? Don't you love me? Why would you do this?" etc.
2006-07-18 00:14:09 · answer #1 · answered by candypants 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st it takes 2 for an argument, don't argue with him. 2nd If you slip and do argue and he says that again, turn it around and tell him that your ex boy friends never treated you like this. Show him how it feels, and finally 3rd seems like you 2 argue pretty much, fine someone that wants to make you happy.
2006-07-18 07:12:10 · answer #2 · answered by camaro46368 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to leave his ex girlfriend out of it. this is a new relationship for you both and things that happened with ex's should be left in the past. it's about the two of you, not about what other people do in relationships as each one is different. sit him down and talk this issue through as i think it will only get worse. good luck!
2006-07-18 07:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh God how can u take that
make him come to his senses and say 'it seems to me that u still got sth 4 ur ex,cuz u talk about them so much,if u dont like the way i am then deal with it,im ur girlfriend!'
then brake ur voice down and say, "u dont know how it feels wen u keep on saying my ex this my ex that,im ur present gilfriend and i deserve love and care from u,i love u"
and believe me that works
GOOD LUCK
2006-07-18 07:12:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you do not want to talk about his ex and if he does not care enough about you then i would break it off with him.. you do not have to hear that.. and if you two do argue then you probably need to move on anyway... just talk to him about this.. tell him how you feel about this and him talking about his old girlfriends.. if they were so great why isn't he still with them...
2006-07-18 07:07:12 · answer #5 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
itz totally unfair wht hez doin to u..comparin u to his ex is not only irritatin but hurtin too..first of all when u both argue..tht is ufcourz cuz u bth dun agree to smthng..n on dat argumnt too hez takin his ex's name..telme frankly can sucha guy who doesnt care 4 ur feelingz can b ur tru frend to share ur probz or time or evn frendshp wit?if he was true to u or cared 4 u..i dun think he wud hav even sed diz thing wch wud hurt u..in my advise think seriously whether hez d one u shd b with..d one who cant care 4 u feelingz now..wht can he do 4 u next thn?
2006-07-18 07:11:40 · answer #6 · answered by sweet_tina11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should quit arguing with him. guys hate arguing, ur gonna run him away. chances are if you have that much to argue about , your not supposed to be together anyways
2006-07-18 07:07:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he mentions about her again, ask him why did his ex dump him? (even if that's not the case) That will definatel shut him up.
2006-07-18 08:02:53 · answer #8 · answered by Javon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well when he says that ask him then why u r not togother any more maybe cuz u never had to argue!! hehe that sucks to be heared :D
2006-07-18 07:08:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick im to the curb
there is no reason to bring up the past
2006-07-18 07:08:51 · answer #10 · answered by JULIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋