My Dad admits he's a homophobe and I have seen him act on this. I was wondering if there was somewhere I could send him to make him gay-friendly so he doesn't embarrass me and my Mom when I have my gay friends around.
2006-07-17 23:08:52 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Reply to Warrior:
Okay I'll do that and I'll tell my pals to watch their "prejudicial ostricization" too ...once I learn how to say it. I keep saying ostrich-ization and that can't be right ...can it?
2006-07-17 23:24:57 · update #1
Have you teamed up with Beefkake?
Anyway, if you are serious just try taking him to more glbt themed things. He's bound to meet someone he likes.
2006-07-17 23:10:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember the old joke - how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb??? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
You can drag dad to the greatest sensitivy/tolerance course in the world...and if he doesn't want it...he won't get it.
If he wishes to become more "gay-friendly", then he can take care of the classes or sessions or therapy on his own.
In the meantime, I would be sensitive to his comfort zone and be respectful of his personal space.
That doesn't mean deny your true self - or that your friends have to...
it means respect where dad's coming from.
Your parents aren't likely to make out, swap spit, and fondle each other in front of your gay friends...so don't expect your gay friends to think doing that in front of your parents is cool. Because it isn't: it's disresepectful and intolerant.
I know a little about this...i lived in a gay community, in a gay housing complex of 60 gay males...
and I am straight...always have been - always will be.
Gays unwittingly - and sometimes intentionally - seek to disrupt the status quo, and unfortunately bring on their own prejudicial ostricization.
Stay cool...stay tolerant - stay respectful
2006-07-17 23:19:19 · answer #2 · answered by Warrior 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest firstly you get over the fact he is not there yet. You can't make someone think differently, but you can help change their mind. Let your friends know in advance where your Dad stands on the gay issue then give him space. Time is the best teacher/healer and you will always be his child, be willing to give him all the time he needs. Go to your friends to hang out and just love him unconditionally. It may be he will never accept your choice,will that be ok ? Can you go on and have a good life anyways? I have family who has experience with this and sometimes..... we must accept the things we cannot change, change the things we can and have the wisdom to know the difference.
All the best to you. take care ~A~
2006-07-17 23:24:52 · answer #3 · answered by momsapplepeye 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father should come around in time....Its just when a typical dad hears he has a son he dreams of the foot ball star taking the hott chick cheerleader to prom.....Besides trying to change him i imagine would only make him more homophobic....I mean how would you feel if he tried to turn you straight? I mean, it is you thats gay, right? Im assuming your gay, but you could be straight, or bi, or something and just have gay friends.......
2006-07-17 23:16:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to come to this realization himself. Asking about a class or therapy to make him more "gay friendly" sounds about as rediculous as him or someone else inquiring into making you "normal" ...
My best Uncle is Gay and I love him dearly, so I am not saying this b/c I am against gays.
What I am saying is that the thoughts of homophobia beliefs are deep inside him somewhere-a reality- and he has to get them taken care of himself. He has to chose to believe different.
I guess if he and you are having serious issues then ya'all may benefit from therapy to help his understanding of your lifestyle, but this is something he has to chose to change...
2006-07-17 23:14:57 · answer #5 · answered by xxxcariooo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure there is too much you can do. Obviously you won't rate this as the best answer because it offers you no hope. Homophobia is usually deeply ingrained. I think your dad may be afraid of getting hit on and feeling awkward and embarrassed... So just let your dad know that none of your friends will hit on him (or make flirtatious remarks), and make sure your friends know that you won't tolerate that.
2006-07-17 23:13:40 · answer #6 · answered by Arthurpod 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact Yemkem a good therapist, His web site address is wwwyemkem.ng.com or wwwdoctorakintundeayeni.com (doctor Akintunde Ayeni)
2006-07-17 23:14:36 · answer #7 · answered by oyetimtop 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, that's only a phobia.
I am sure there are somewhere he could go, the thing is "will he go for it?"
We all have phobia's and some people over come them while others lanker on forever..
Good Luck
2006-07-17 23:11:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might backfire - if he is predisposed to be hostile then forcing him to change might only make it worse. People often need to come to these conclusions themselves. I would hope that common decency and the same good manners he taught his children would make sure he "behaved" in front of your friends, whatever his feelings are. Good luck.
2006-07-17 23:15:05 · answer #9 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send him to a hospice with terminal gay AIDs patients. That will shut his yapper up.
2006-07-17 23:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by angrysandwichguy2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋