I live in South Carolina and I was brought up in an old fashioned way. Meaning, if I am being courted, shouldn't my date/interest still open my doors, light my cigarettes and pay for dinner until a relationship is developed? The reason I ask this question is because it seems to me these days, being a southern woman, that all those key things that make a man a gentleman have disappeared. Did our father's not bother to tell their sons how to treat a lady?
2006-07-17 22:31:31 · 9 answers · asked by ssavage23 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
p.s. I fully believe in pulling my own weight in a relationship ONCE IT IS ESTABLISHED, but not until then. This is not a question of me wanting to be pampered, this is a question of respect and dignity.
2006-07-17 22:46:57 · update #1
I honestly don't think that chivalry is dead, it is on life support, but not dead. I have also found that you are far more likely to find the last chivalrous men in the South and in the Mid-West.
I live in Northwest Florida (the part of the state that is still considered Southern) and I think that (in some cases) you have to bring forth chivalry from men. I can say that when I go on a date I expect to not have to open a door (neither a car door nor a door to a building), not to have to pull out my own chair, and to have my MAN clear my path in a crowd. For the most part Southern men with strong Southern mamas handle this no questions asked, it's how they were raised. As I comport myself in the manner of a lady, I expect to be treated like a lady and I won't accept anything less, and for those that are thinking it let me answer you right now: Yes, I will spend a date sitting in the car before I will open my own car door, and no it has never come to that.
As for the gentleman who made the comment about men always paying for a date, I subscribe to the belief that whomever does the inviting should pay, and if I am being courted (as was specifically mentioned in the question) I am not doing the asking.
2006-07-17 22:49:35 · answer #1 · answered by zaffaris 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I'd like to know why women think men always need to fork out the dough for a date? Men have learned over the years that it takes two to make a relationship and why shouldn't they be treated just as nice as you wish to be treated? Women that want these things from a guy tend to sound like gold diggers. I see nothing wrong with a man opening your door, but I also open the door for my man as well. Financially, why should a man have to pay for all? Dutch treat is nice, it makes neither feel like they are being taken for granted. We women have fought for years to be included on things instead of being the lil "darlin". The world has changed for many years on this and if you want someone old fashioned, then I wish you luck. I myself prefer to date a man because I want to be with him, not what he can do for me!
2006-07-18 05:39:13 · answer #2 · answered by Tainted_Halo 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, it is not dead,and for those that say it never existed? you are so very worng.....there are men that still do all those things, some are older and was brought up when that was the way it was supposed to be, and others were jsut brought up by those same men....with respect for the woman. Dead? NO, unfortunately I do indeed fear that it is in intensive care......
2006-07-18 05:49:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many young men have not got a clue on what it means to treat a woman with dignity and respect.... Do not cave in cause you will be selling yourself short in the long run.... Explain to the man what your expectation's are if he is to hang out with you... I am from Texas so I can relate more than I care to tell.. Best Of Luck!!!
2006-07-18 05:39:49 · answer #4 · answered by jen 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it's not dead - it's just very rare, but the blame is not totally on the male. I had some dates myself that was offended for being a gentlemen, saying they could do things for themselves and insulted me saying it isnt the 50tys anymore pops.
2006-07-18 05:42:54 · answer #5 · answered by Savage 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i just had this talk with my mom and we believe chivalry is slowly dying everywhere. what happened is us women don't enforce those ways anymore and go running out the door when a horn beeps. we need to teach our daughters to demand that kind of respect again
2006-07-18 05:41:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you can still find what you seek, you obviously have not found it yet. Keep looking, for it is out there
2006-07-18 05:38:35 · answer #7 · answered by bprice215 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
light my cigarettes - you are SO south Carolina.
2006-07-18 05:34:22 · answer #8 · answered by tenaciousd 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
dead? no...it never existed....
2006-07-18 05:35:41 · answer #9 · answered by waterdancer 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋