Why dont people stay at home with there kids ?

Question

I knew i always wanted to have 1 kid .So the child could have all fo my love and attention directed towards them . I always wanted to have a baby around the age 25 to 28 , so i would be more matured and have more patients and i would have all of my partying out of my system and i could be a dedicated mother ,well i did have my baby at 25 and i stay home with him .If my son cant roll with me ,then i just asume not go . He is 15 months old and has never been left with a sitter , All my friends and family started having babies at age 16 hand now in there mid to late 20s have up to 3 and 4 kids .They still want to party and they are allways dumping there kids off at my house for me to watch why they go bar hopping , the children cry for there mommies it breaks my hart .Why dont they want to stay at home with there kids ?I love being with my son . I would rather be with him then at a stinking bar trying to get laid like most of the kids moms that i'm watching .Why?someone please enligten me

i understand that some moms gotta work ,but i'm talking about bar hopping evernight ,i have actully watched the kid for up to 24 hours at a time. I dont say no ,because they are so desperate to go out they have left the kids with drunks to watch

Answer 1

Why?

Because, I believe, they regret having their children, and don't want to deal with the responsibility of being a mom 24/7, and if they can go bar-hopping, they can forget about their kids for a few hours and try to sucker some guy into playing daddy for their kid(s), and then when they get bored with him, they can go out and try to find some other guy to get in the sack.

I applaud you for knowing what you want from life and waited to have your child until you were ready (emotionally, financially, etc . . .) to have your child. But don't forget to take some time for yourself ONCE IN A WHILE, not every night, not every weekend, but maybe one night every month or so, you do need to take a break from being a parent and have some fun for yourself. That doesn't mean you have to go to a bar and get drunk, but go to a movie, or a nice restaurant, or an art exhibit, take in a ball game, the possibilites are endless.

Oh, and It's ok to leave your child with a sitter who YOU trust (If your parents are available, I would suggest trying them first).

Answer 2

You know life is a two sided sword. Some people will ask you, why don't you go and work or if you stay all the time with your baby, he will become "a mummy's son". When you are too close to your son, he might start falling in love with you when he grows up. You know what I mean? I'm talking from experience, not personal. Are you alone mother? If not then let your spouse stay around some time and you go do something. An idle mind is a temptation's work house.

Answer 3

I don't know. I always wonder about that myself. My son is now 17 and we left him only 2 times with a sitter. He is very mature and very smart. I miss playing in the sandbox with him.
I have a friend that has 3 kids and she is never home with them. The baby grew up with a babysitter and when mom comes home crys when she leaves.
She gets home around 6 and puts them to bed by 7:30.
I really enjoy my kiddo, still do...I think it's a priority and if the kids are not a priority than they just leave.
Sometimes people don't mature rapidly enough. My mom used to say, you are not fully mature until 40.
I feel sorry for these people as they are missing out on so much...i couldn't imagine missing out on my kiddos life. We are very close and i wouldn't change that for anything.
Don't worry about others, just take care of your own. My friend told me that years ago and I'm still trying to learn it.
Enjoy your kiddo...you're going down the right path.

Answer 4

Because they can't because they can't afford it. They have to pay for those babies they made. Glad everything worked out just like you planned. Obviously you have someone supporting you or you would not have the ability to stay home with that child. These bar hoppers have no one because they started looking too soon and allowed themselves to be used. Now they will keep looking and probably never find. They are some sad people and they will turn their children into sad people.

Answer 5

your son is only 15 months old, we all fell in love with our kids at that age, give it a few years dear, you will be wanting to go out and have a break once in a while also!. I appreciate what your saying, and you definately sound like a very wonderful mother, but eventually mothers do need time out, and it dosent mean tehy dont love their children any less, its not healthy to be an at home mother, 24/7 till our kids are in highschool. and as long as we are leaving our children with responsible sitters, like yourself.then its all honkey dorey

Answer 6

well because the "kids" that have their children at the age of 16, they're still not matured yet, or some think they are... but the reality is that they still need to be able to provide for themself, and this is all taken care of by their parents... meaning at the age of 20 they already have kids, but in their mind they wish to party because other people around them are... so to be with one's friends versus taking an unplanned step for a child... is rather sad, but it happens... it's all about maturity levels and responsibilities... just give these kids pets to take care of, such as a dog, cat or whatever... and then you can see how much they would really take care of them...

Answer 7

Your friends had kids when they were 16, which I believe is too young to take on such a big responsibility. Maybe they had unplanned pregnancies and know that their kids are a little older they are making up for lost time. I think it is unfair to you that they leave their kids with you every time they go out, try to put a stop to it. I have two kids but I haven't stopped going out, i had my 1st kid at age 23. Is there no grandparents who can take care of your baby for a few hours? try to make some arrangement, life doesn't stop with kids. as long as we are with our kids when they need us most that is what matters. Try to get out it won't hurt!

Answer 8

the other women are being really irresponsible, and if i were you i would tell them i wouldn't watch their kids if the went bar hopping, but, it's not good that you don't have any separation from your son. it's okay to do something for yourself with out him. it'll give you time to relax so you can give him better focus, and it will help him be more independent later in life. you say you stay home with your son so i assume you are in a relationship with someone who makes the money. having some time together away from your son will help you stay connected in your relationship instead of losing each other in parenthood.

Answer 9

I was wondering what the point of this question was, and it sure took you a long time to get there!

Have you ever tried saying "NO"?

The new society. I can't wait another 10 or 15 years, it will be real exciting by then.

And in 20 years when most people can't afford to drive anymore, America will slip into civil war.

You are contributing to this problem by pandering to your friends.

Answer 10

i agree with you ! 25-28 is much better than 16-20 for haveing a child ! , in iran is like this , i mean the "having child age ! " , and mothers stay with the children at home !