I am a Christian and my daughter is 16 with a new boyfriend. Any words of wisdom. I said something like "some ladies are styrophom cups, others are crystal goblets" and "be friends first". I said "don't let him touch anywhere a decent bathing suit would cover . . ."
hmm...
please, give me some advice!!!
2006-07-17 20:36:37 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
explain to her that you were a teenager once also. Tell her that you know how it feels to be ho*ny. You need to be blunt with her and let her know that there are alot of consequences to having sex, emotionally and physically. Also make sure that is she wants to that she needs to talk to you first about birth control. I know you probably don't want to hear that, but I am sure you would rather her not be pregnant at her age. She will appreciate you being up front with her. Mostly tell her that you love her and you are just concerned for her because that is what mothers do.
good luck.
2006-07-17 20:45:10 · answer #1 · answered by singitoutloudandclear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it became a 36 365 days previous and a 32 365 days previous courting, it may well be fantastic. yet a 12 365 days previous and a 16 365 days previous is purely strange. Why may a 16 365 days previous boy pick therefore far a 12 365 days previous female, except only for ordinary sex?? EDIT: and a 12 365 days previous with a lip piercing?! What the hell are your mum and dad wondering?? i became truly aloud to bypass to the mall by technique of myself even as i became 12, no longer to tutor get a lip piercing?!
2016-12-01 20:02:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am eighteen! I had my first real boyfriend at seventeen. I was a virgin. But i felt i was in love and i gave him my virginity. If you raise your daughter right the words you say will go threw her head. I do not regret my decision because i am eighteen going on nineteen and he is my only sex partner i ever had! i want him to be my first and my last. And he was also my friend first that made it so much better. But my advice to you would be be a parent and not a friend. My parents did not let my boyfriend in my room or in the house when they were not there they stayed on me and that have made me who i am today. I am freshmen in college. Been on the honor roll all my life. No matter i did not let my grades fall when i got my boyfriend. They actually increased. But please do one thing for me. Keep an open communication with her. Because with this being her experiencing new things you do not want to see her hurt because believe me it was times when i sat in my room and cried and just wanted my mom to come rescue me. So tell her do not rush things. Those who wait receives a better reward!
2006-07-17 21:17:48 · answer #3 · answered by smiles18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to her as you would an adult. Most teenagers won't listen to their parents because they think their parents treat them like kids and, in their minds, they aren't. Of course tell her about all the physical consequenses but focus on the emotional consequenses too. Encourage her to talk to you about her feelings on the subject - and stay open minded. If she knows your head won't explode at the thought of her going too far, she may actually be honest with you about it. avoid being judgemental. Try to be open minded while still reinterating your thoughts that it needs to be saved for marriage. While it is good to remind her that she is a wonderful woman that is worth waiting for and any boy that won't wait does not fully appreciate her and is not worthy of such a gift, it's also important to address her feelings and desires (boys aren't the only ones that want to do it). The most important thing to remember is that she got her values and beliefs from you, so even if she does make a bad decision, as long as she has your love and support, she will always find her way back on track.
2006-07-18 06:17:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I respect that you're religious but she is 16. I'm not saying you want her having sex with everyone, but she's a reasonable age now. You have to let her make her own mistakes within limits- instead of treating her like she can't be trusted, try saying that you believe & trust in her to make the right decisions... that line always got me to do the right thing as a teen. I'm sorry, truely no offence meant, but the lines you're giving you're daughter sound like something my grandmother would have been told 80 years ago. You can't keep her in a religous cocoon forever.
2006-07-17 22:39:23 · answer #5 · answered by lillyflower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a very scary time. I thought it was rough when they were younger!!
Make sure you have "the" talk about sex (should have had it already). If you have had it, just do some refreshers on it.
Let her know that boys will say all kinds of things to try to get sex from them and not to fall for the "you will if you love me" or "if you don't then it's over". Tell her if they tell her this then she is to answer, "you won't if you love me" or "I guess it's over then". Let her know if guys pull these lines then all they are after is sex and not a relationship with her. They dont' care for her at all and will move on quickly anyway.
Tell her that you have instilled your beliefs in her and hope that she will think rationally in all situations. She's to go with her "gut" feeling because that is like God talking to her. If she feels she has to hide it from you, then it usually is wrong to do.
Tell her that she needs to think all things through to the end. If she is thinking of having sex with the boy then she needs to know if he's had sex with anyone before. Also if he used any protection because she will be having sex with those people too. She needs to know that the only prevention that is 100% against pregnancy and STD's is to not have sex. All others can fail at sometime or another, and yes even on just the first time. She needs to think about how she will tell you and how he will tell his parents if she gets pregnant. She needs to ask him what he plans on doing if she would get pregnant (that will usually be a downer for sex!) and if he would be around and help out. She needs to think about how she will finish school being pregnant, if she will keep the baby or give it up for adoption. She also needs to know that if she would get pregnant she will be "different" from all of her friends and those relationships will change forever.
I know it's hard to talk with them, but they need to know to carry this all the way through to the end results too. After you have the talk with them, then I think all we can do is try to know what they are doing and with whom and to pray. If it happens, it happens. I know I will be disappointed in my sons and I've let them know it. I will not "ban" them from my home though.
Good luck!
2006-07-18 02:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by 317bossyaussie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a 16 year old who I wish my mom would let me date. But I think it was a good choice to let her date at least all that is in front of your eyes. Let her know that she must know her limitations, she's too young for sex and she's still got her studies so she should set her priorities straight. Talk to the guy as well and make it clear that their relationship is too young for sex or anything related to that. Make it clear that their studies is more important than anything else. But, remember not to embarrass her in front of other people (that's a complete no no) let her know you're always there if they have problems, so at least she's open when she has problems in their relationship..
2006-07-17 20:49:04 · answer #7 · answered by ~akoh~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My old standby piece of advice to friends in relationships is that "a boy who is worth your tears will never make you cry," although I hope your daughter never has to make use of that advice!
I'm sure you've instilled your own beliefs and morals in your daughter, so the rest is up to her. The best thing you can do for her is be there to provide support and guidance when she needs you. "Be friends first" is a great piece of advice...it sounds like you are a great mother who has everything under control.
2006-07-17 20:47:56 · answer #8 · answered by Meghan M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatly, this is the time that you have to trust that everything you have said to her sunk in, such as your morals and your values. Make sure that the lines of communication are open between the two of you, this way if anything should or could happen she is able to talk to you without fear of guilt or anger.
2006-07-19 12:59:56 · answer #9 · answered by Gemini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you tell her now will have little impact on her behavior. You have to trust that over the last 16 years you have given her the skills to make her own decisions. I'm sure she knows what you expect of her. Encourage her to talk to you about these issues and please try not to worry. You never know, she might make you proud. B
2006-07-17 20:47:58 · answer #10 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋