2006-07-17 19:27:20 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
can you guys make it short too, its for my job interview
2006-07-17 19:41:18 · update #1
no, not the circus, open auditions to work at jamba juice silly!
2006-07-17 21:39:40 · update #2
I almost forgot that you were looking for a short one, so I came back and added the first one for you.
The Perfect Man
A friend asked me the other day why I never got married.
I replied "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I've been looking for the perfect girl."
"Oh, come on now," said my friend. "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."
"Yes, there was one girl... once. I guess she was the one perfect girl -- the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything... I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."
"Well, why didn't you marry her?" asked my friend.
I shrugged my shoulders and replied, "She was looking for the perfect man."
Where Is God?
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.
They boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?".
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed.
So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God!!?"
Again the boy made no attempt to answer.
So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude. God is missing - and they think WE did it!"
2006-07-17 21:56:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man is walking down the street with a penguin. A cop stops him and asks him where he got the penguin. The man tells the cop he found the penguin wandering in the park and doesn't have a clue what to do with the penguin. The cop tells the man to take the penguin to the zoo.
The next day the same cop sees the guy with the penguin again and they are both wearing sunglasses. The cop is flabbergasted and asks the man why the penguin isn't at the zoo and what's up with the sunglasses. The man replies, "We had such a good time at the zoo yesterday, that we decided to go to the beach today".
2006-07-18 02:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by michinoku2001 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A job interview? What kinda job is that that requires a joke to get in, the circus?
2006-07-18 04:04:37 · answer #3 · answered by police 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes...
a lion had a jungle meeting and says "whoever can make this turtle laugh i will let you go, if not i will eat you". so the giraffe goes first and no turtle laughing, then the monkey still not laughing, then after all the animals are dead, the turtle starts laughing. so the lion says whats so funny, and the turtle answers "oh that joke the giraffe said was so hilarious!!!"
hehe
2006-07-18 02:38:18 · answer #4 · answered by danyella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is one related to juice:
Q: Why did the blonde kept staring at the orange juice carton?
A: Because it said CONCENTRATE!
2006-07-18 05:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One day, a 65 year old lady give birth to a boy. This has been the top stories of over 50 newspaper.
ten days later her neighbours want to see her baby but the old lady don't allow them to see him. "Why can't I see your baby?" "You can, but after he cries first." "Why can't I see him now?" "B'cos, I lost him, and I'm waiting for him to cry, so I can hear where he is now!!!"
2006-07-18 02:38:12 · answer #6 · answered by |) J @ |< 4 |2 + @ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grasshopper walks into a bar.
The bartender says,
'Hey! You know theres a drink named after you?"
Grasshopper says,
"You mean there's a drink named Murray?"
One of my all time fav's
2006-07-18 04:21:07 · answer #7 · answered by Brocktoon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
postman ------i had to walk 3 kilometers to deliver this letter to u. farmer------- u should have posted it. here is a riddle for u what is that which starts with 't' , ends with 't' & full of "t" ? ans teapot. why did the ghost become the cheerleader ? to add some team spirit.
2006-07-18 03:46:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have proof my jokes are hilarious, I threw a bunch of them into the furnace and the fire just roared!
2006-07-18 04:38:40 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's an oxymoron. ;)
I'll try-
2 fleas are waiting on the sidewalk when one looks at the other and says, "So, you wanna walk or take a dog?"
hahahahahhahahahaha...That joke cracks me up!
2006-07-18 02:30:49 · answer #10 · answered by Starry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋