How do I convince my daughter that she's not overweight?

Question

My daughter had to get a physical today with her pediatrician. She's 13. When the doctor saw her weight on the chart (109 lbs) she said that "her weight at this very moment is average but if she eats ANYMORE than whats she's eating now, she'll be overweight!" My daughter is 5'3 and wears a 14 slim in jeans. She can't get any skinnier without being anorexic. Unfortunately she said it in front of my daughter. Since the appointment, I've had many family members tell her to ignore the doctor because she's full of crap. But she seems very upset by it. So upset in fact that she was watching what she ate for dinner. How do I fix this situation, besides finding a new pediatrician?

Answer 1

1. Lecture the pediatrician on her insensitivity. Be sure to tell her that with all the kids throwing up (anorexia) because they might not be accepted by society unless they're skin & bones, and with the tremendous problem that anorexia & belimia are today, that was a terribly insensitive remark to make.

2. Yes, find another pediatrician.

3. Let your daughter know you are aware of her concerns, and -- so she doesn't start throwing up behind your back -- serve low calorie vegetables, etc. with meals. Flat-out tell her that you're doing it so she doesn't take to such absurd "remedies" such as "throwing up". (Tell her why, so she doesn't think you're doing it because you feel she is overweight.) Let your daughter know that you are making adjustments to meals because you are (a) aware of her concern/worry and (b) you still want to be sure she's getting the nutrition she needs.
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4. Have a talk with her about anorexia & belimia -- how terrible and hard-to-cure, if at all, it is. Show her pictures, find a death rate, locate testimonials on "not being the way to go".

5. Maybe you can find some info on the internet about what the proper weight is for someone her height & build. Hopefully, she's under and the weight won't be such an issue. That is, maybe you can demonstrate the doctor's comment were "off the wall".

6. Lecture that pediatrician. I know I already said this, but do it again!!! (Maybe write a letter to the medical board.)

7. Re-enforce (to your daughter) your stand that she is over-reacting to possible statistic.

8. When you find a new pediatrician, be sure to tell her what happened. Maybe she came offer some words that will quell your daughter's fears.


So sorry that happened. Ugh!

Answer 2

This is probably advise you have heard from all the other parents on here, but you have to find a new DR! I say this from personal experience. Not that we had a weight issue but an issue with a mole and ADD. When we went to a different ped. the answer was totally different. My SON is 5'5 and 120. He is 13 and is perfect! He is neither too fat or too skinny. I don't know if that is societies view but our dr (who we have had since the ADD "quack") would never think of saying that in front of him.
I know we love our pediatrician but maybe yours is better with younger children...Go to someone else before your child is damaged from the words this person says!!!! 14 slim...and can't eat any more???....

OK, I just reread your question and all the answers and will tell you there is nothing you will be able to tell your child that will make her feel better...the dr's word carries more weight than ours at this point! You have to get a second dr's oppinion that is CONVINCINGLY differently than the first. Hint: Ped. of male sex might help...

Answer 3

That was probably not a wise comment to make in front of a teenager who is already sensitive enough about her weight already.The first thing I would probably do was to find another pediatrician and do let them no that any weight issues they may have to say to your daughter be best off left for them to tell you.Sometimes being a parent we have to white lie just tell your daughter the pediatrician rang up an apologized as she rechecked her weight against height and realised that she had made a mistake. It will make her feel better.

Answer 4

I'm 16 years old, almost 5'2" and I WISH I was even close to 109.

That, my dear, is TINY. I don't know how to convince anyone of anything other than to just keep telling her the truth: She is an average-weighted girl, and tell her to stop worrying about what might happen if she eats this or that.

Answer 5

There is probably nothing you can say to convince her , but you can tell her that if she won't believe you and is concerned about her HEALTH (not weight), then she can do as suggested above and look into nutrition and sign up for some sports. Tell her to ride a bike, swim, or go for walks. Have fun actively, and eat good, healthy, natural foods. Weight can fluctuate and be different for everyone. Being healthy is what's important.

Answer 6

do no longer tell your daughter she is fat it is going to in straightforward terms harm her thoughts i became into very obese from third grade each of how until eventually 8th then I slowy started laying off the pounds. My suggestion is do no longer positioned basically her on a weight-help plan, positioned the full family participants on the load-help plan do no longer exclude her it is not honest. She does not choose to be sitting next to you on an identical time as your eating a brilliant undesirable dinner and he or she gets a salad. You daughter will found out she needs to drop some pounds quickly adequate yet do no longer attempt to stress her or make her sense uncomfortable! solid success! possibly via fact the climate is nicer you 2 ought to take walks in the previous mattress time around your community?

Answer 7

I don't think the doctor said anything wrong.And there is nothing wrong with watching what you eat.I am 33 years old had two children .I am 5'3 and i weigh 125lb.I watch what i put in my mouth.Better be safe than sorry.Besides looks,it is good for her health.I don't know why do you thing you have a problem.

Answer 8

Personally, I would not encourage her to "diet", but maybe help her in checking out books and websites on eating healthy. There are a lot of nutrition books out there that will inform someone on how to eat right. Maybe taking this opportunity to work with your daughter on the proper nutrition will encourage healthy eating for her future. In doing this, you will "satisfy" her urge to "diet", but yet lead her into a healthy way of eating as opposed to letting her decide how to do it herself (which usually will lead to anorexia or bulimia). She will find that eating properly will allow her to maintain a good weight, help her feel better physically and mentally, and even improve her energy levels.

Good luck!

Answer 9

my goodness! that pediatrician is awful saying that in front of your daughter =(...i would say keep telling your daughter that she does not need to lose weight....its hard being 13 and hearing a criticism like that....so it will take her a few days to get around....but healing words will help a lot....it might help to take her to a different pediatrician who could say something nicer to her....something she deserves to hear....hope this helps!

Answer 10

Take her out to buy a couple of pairs of jeans or something that look good on her, she should get enough compliments to help her figure out that she's not over weight plus you and her get to enjoy shopping together.