Should i take the whole family or just the child that needs treatment?

Question

I have 4 kids that are 10, 8, 7 & 9 months. My 8 year old got sick 2 1/2 years ago. Since her medical appointments has taken a lot of my time. She admits to the hospital over night for a treatment 1 time a month plus multiple other appointments. Now I have to take her to another state for medical treatment for a few days. My older children want to go also and I cant imagin leavin my baby for that long. If I take them with me I would also need to take another adult to be with them while we are at appointments. I am a single mom and am already tryin to figure out how to afford the trip. I dont want my kids to feel pushed to the side, but I do not know if it is financially possible to take them. Any suggestions on what to do and how to make it all work?

Answer 1

Try contacting the people at Ronald McDonald House (I know, it may feel counterintuitive to do so with a medical problem but this'll help). They typically help needy families with accomodation around hospitals and might be able to be of service to you. They may having lodging and staff to care for the others while you hit appointments.

http://www.rmhc.com/rmhc/index.html

If not, call the hospital in the other state and ask about programs they may have that are similar. Most hospitals (at least the ones worth going to) have humanitarian foundations that help in the areas you require.

Good luck!!!

Answer 2

I'm not sure the other children should be there while your sick child recieves treatment , especially depending on the type of treatment. She may see it as they are having a 'Vacation' while she is suffering. Also she is the one who needs your attention at that time. Try to plan something special with your other children/whole family when able to .. even if it is just camping out in the back yard or on the living room floor and watching movies and eating junk food. As for the expenses you incure from your trips you should check with the hospital about a hospitality house or a Ronald McDonald house.

Answer 3

Just talk to them honey kids are smart they know you don't have alot of money already without you telling them. Make a special return home plan for just them tho. See if maybe an overnite camping trip is at all possible. Even just a day at the beach with just mom and the 2 older ones. I don't mean to leave the 9 month old out but he doesn't know he's missing out on a trip just mom. Try to spend a little quality time now with them I know that is hard and easier said than done but you would be amazed at what 5 minutes of alone time with mommy will do for a little kid. I am so sorry about your baby and I hope whatver is wrong he will be ok. I will pray for you guys. Good luck

Answer 4

First off, I'm sorry that your daughter is so sick. That's a hard thing to deal with, and I hope she'll ultimately be OK.

Having a sick child puts a strain on the whole family. Obviously it's tough on the parents, and it's also hard on the other kids to watch their sister suffering, and worrying about what will happen to her. But it's also hard on kids to have a sick sibling because that child gets a lot of attention, and the other kids often feel neglected, or might feel they need to take on adult responsibilities to help out.

If you can figure out a way to bring your other kids with you, that would probably make them feel more included. A lot of hospitals have some form of day care for young family members of their patients, and there are also various charities that will help out families in need, especially those with a sick child. Try contacting the hospital you're taking your daughter too and see what they offer or if they can steer you to any charities that might be able to help. Also, if you're involved with any religious organizations (Churches, etc.) or local communities centers or such, they might be able to point you to some organizations that could help with the cost of the trip.

But if you can't afford it you may not have much choice. If you have to leave them home, I recommend that you explain to them that you're taking their sister to go to the hospital, not on vacation, and that it's not going to be fun.

Also, make sure to spend enough time with your other kids when you're home that they don't feel left out (this is important even if they do go with you). Maybe they can't go with you and your daughter to wherever it is you're going, but maybe you can take them somewhere else instead (even if it's just a camping trip to your back yard or roof). Just make sure they know that even though their sister's medical care is taking up a lot of time, you love them just as much as her and haven't forgotten about them.

Answer 5

Maybe a local church could help you with some of the trip cost. I know a lot of churches will help a family in need. This must be a tremendously challenging time for you. I see empty coffee cans or other containers in the stores in our town that people put out with a paper explaining the need and situation taped on the can. Also a church or social organization in your town may be able to hook you up with babysitting or a travel companion willing to help with the kids. You'd be surprised how many people are willing to help in a situation like yours. Just be careful that you completely trust them.

Answer 6

See if the hospital you take her to has a Hospitality House. It's kind of like the Ronald McDonald house thing. The hospital in our city has one, and it's right behind the hospital. And I think staying there is free for family. If there is one, call and explain your situation, they may be able to help you. You could probably call the hospital if they DON'T have one and get some kind of info that would help. Sorry to hear your child is sick, I hope she gets to feeling better.

Answer 7

Take the 8yr old and the 9month old. 10 & 7 will understand.
Of course you want them to stay with an adult while your gone.

As far a pushed aside, this a lesson for them in life. Call often, show you miss them and wish you were there and explain the responsiblities of a mother to keep them ALL tip top.

Good luck

Answer 8

Call the hospital and see if they have a social worker. The social worker can help you make arrangement for accommodation (Ronald McDonald house for example) and let you know what resources might be available for you.
Hope she gets better soon.