My daughter is getting married in November. Her father is deceased and she wants her great uncle to give her away. Her stepdad feels as though he should have the honor. We have been married for 9 years. She was 24, so he did not have any influence in her up bringing. What is his role in this, and how can I keep the drama out of this wedding.
2006-07-17 16:00:30 · 22 answers · asked by confused mother of the bride 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes you and your husband are probably paying for this wedding, and it may hurt your husband to not be her choice for her walk down the aisle. However, something to think about is the fact that she may be missing her father more now than ever, no matter how long he has been gone. If she prefers her great uncle, let her do what SHE wants. In the long run, she will appreciate you allowing her to do what her heart wants rather than forcing anything else on her. This day is very important to her, probably THE most important day of her life, you surely as her mother know this. So, let her have her way, but maybe suggest that her step father would like to have the honor of the first dance after the first dance with her new hubby, or he may also want the honor of giving a toast to the new couple. This will give your husband a certain sense of duty and honor in the day, as well as flatter her immensley as he shows his love for her.
Good Luck, hope she doesn't bankrupt you!!
2006-07-17 16:12:46 · answer #1 · answered by ssavage23 4 · 10⤊ 1⤋
The Role Of A Stepfather
2017-01-13 03:35:17 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your daughter was a grown adult at the time of your marriage (24 yrs old), and your new husband did not have influence on her life, it should be her choice as to whom she wishes to give her away. Perhaps if she had been younger and the stepfather was more in the picture, it would have been more appropriate for him to do the honour. Another approach may be to consider that today's families nor weddings are not so traditional; would she consider having both men walk her down the aisle?
2006-07-17 16:09:26 · answer #3 · answered by rigbyelinor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is a touchy situation. If she were close to her step-dad, then he should be the one to give her away. For instance, my parents are divorced and I haven't seen my dad since I was 11. (I'm now 24 and getting married in January 2007.) My brother is going to be the one to give me away. He was my main male influence while I was growing up. Your daughter should pick the man who was closest to her and who influenced her most while she was growing up. Her step-dad, your husband, can have some other role in the wedding so that he won't feel left out in the cold. Hope this helps.
2006-07-18 01:06:37 · answer #4 · answered by jamie6882 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is her chioce what the role of the stepfather is, it is her wedding, If she decides he has no part in it, he has no part in it, she didn't choose him to be her stepdad you did, so let her have her great uncle give her away, there is a reason she picked him and he is a blood relative so that makes the bond with him stronger than any bond she will ever have with the man that you decided to marry.
2006-07-17 16:08:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my daughter married 4 years ago, she asked her brother to give her away. Her Dad is deceased, and she has a wonderful stepfather, but chose her brother. It was her choice, it was respected, and she had a beautiful wedding. My husband was very gracious, and I appreciated the fact that he allowed my daughter to enjoy her special day just as she wanted to. She loves her stepdad, that was not a factor.
2006-07-17 16:07:40 · answer #6 · answered by Maja 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah well that is really difficult for the girl i am sure.. but it is her wedding.. and maybe she feels like most girls do that a step-parent is not really her choosing.. it was your choosing.. so let her have her wedding the way she wants to have it and let her uncle give her away... but if she is not that close to her great-uncle then i would ask her why she wants to do this.. tell her that your husband would like to have the honor of giving her away.. i do not know if i would word it like that because that did not sound to good but you know what i mean...well i hope the best for all of you... it really is going to be difficult for someone .. and you can not please everyone all the time...
2006-07-17 16:09:50 · answer #7 · answered by sanangel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Daughter's wedding. Daughter's choice. I was married to someone with a daughter and mom said she was going to walk her up the aisle. The step dad is responsible for his own emotional reaction to this.
2006-07-17 16:04:12 · answer #8 · answered by Tony T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy answer: She is closer to her Uncle so he should have the honor of walking her down.
However, instead of the typical "Daddy-daughter" dance, perhaps she can just have the band play something slow and have her ask her stepdad for the honor of dancing with her first!
Problem solved....
2006-07-17 16:11:58 · answer #9 · answered by Patricia D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married when I was 19 and my stepfather gave me away. but it is really up to her. she may feel closer to her uncle. whatever she decides everyone needs to support her decision. Tell hubby not to feel bad. I know he probably feels like she is his little girl no matter how old she is. I am also sure he just wants her to be happy.
2006-07-17 16:07:26 · answer #10 · answered by charlie12880 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋