Why do people have kids if they can't handle them?

Question

I'm working at the Super 8 Front desk, and some lady has just got done checking in. Her little boy was with her at the time. He seemed to be about 4 years old and was stomping all over the place, and screeching like a girl. All the woman said was "stay over here i'm checking over here" (that too in a sweet gentle voice like he was an angel), while her kid stomped all over the place, tried to steal one of the master keys and kept tempting to smack him right across the face. I was quiet and just checked her in over screeching and screaming. What would you have done?

Answer 1

Um, when is the last time you travelled with a toddler? Like someone else said, maybe they'd just been in a car (or plane or train) for hours on end and the poor kid was sick and tired of being cooped up. If you have a problem with that then I guess you think that those of us who have kids should just sit home and not do anything with our lives, never go anywhere because there is the remote possibility the kids will get bored and upset a freakin' desk clerk at the Super 8? You sound like a petulant toddler yourself! Get over yourself, get a clue and shut the hell up already.

*EDIT* Oh, good lord. I just read your profile. Yeah. There are so many cheapa$$ motel desk clerks who drive a Lexus. Does it belong to your mommy or your daddy?

Answer 2

What you think you will do when you have children and what you actually end up doing are often two different things. Perhaps the child is normally very well behaved and has just spent 10 hours cooped up in a car and while mom doesn't condone the behavior she loves him and understands that like her he is exhausted but at 4 can not handle it like an adult would. Or perhaps the child has some sort of problem that is not obvious to the naked eye and mom has done everything in her power to deal with him to no avail. My son is 5 and has been a holy terror since he was about 18 months old. I know people from your point of view judge me , post things about me , talk about this horrible kid and his lazy mom all the time. However what you do not realize is he was 6 weeks premature , almost died , had several strokes , has hydrocephalus , a seizure disorder and frontal lobe damage which makes ADHD just look like a bad mood. Doctors wouldn't medicate him until age 5 b/c of possible side effects . Now that he is 5yrs and 3 months we are playing the which med might work game. It is tricky since so many can cause seizures or make behavior worse and then there is always the fact that he does have brain damage already so it's not like you know how it will effect his brain. Now I could take the time to EVERY time we go anywhere (church,store, school, walking etc.) to explain this situation to everyone who stares at us in disgust but I don't really have that kind of time. The problem is to the naked eye he looks "normal" and just like a brat so he gets cut no slack. So maybe when people go around saying the parents are lazy or they just want to be friends with their kids or the kid needs hit , they should first consider that everything isn't what it looks like. I have 2 other kids and their behavior is fine...but then I know how to deal with kids and they don't have extenuating circumstances.
I have had 3 clinical behavioral psychologists tell me sorry I can not really do anything. You are sticking to the behavior plans , being consistent , not tolerating behavior but there is nothing else that will help until the meds are working. So judge not what you don't know for sure.

Answer 3

In a situation like that there is not much that you can do. Being in a proffessional environment you can't tell the kid to "shut the hell up" unless you would like to search for another job.
If the child continues to be a disturbance and is bothering other guests and you are recieving complaints then you will have to politely address the woman and tell her that you are recieving complaints about the noise level coming from her room. ( dont say shut your kids up..y'know?) If there are no improvements talk to your supervisor or boss about what steps to take.. whether the hotel has the right to refund some of her money and find her another hotel.. just kick her out or ignore it.
I run into unruly kids and their parents all the time at work. you just have to nod and smile. If the kid is doing something that is harmful to themselves or someone else definatly address the child first and then the parent. Dont get upset and yell or use foul language.
There really is not much that can be done.

Answer 4

I would have done exactly what you did...check her in like nothing was wrong.

I assume (and forgive me if I'm wrong) that you have no children. Until you do, you have no idea what a temper tantrum is, or how HORRIBLE it can be when your child is 2 - 3 years old and asks for a toy or a piece of candy or something trivial. All you have to say is "no". No matter how gently you say it, it can lead to a knock down, drag out, foot stomping, screaming fit.

Plus, you have no idea what the lady and her son went though that day. Maybe he had a visit at the pediatrician's office and had his immunizations and was cranky and sore from that. Maybe they'd been on the road all day and he was tired of sitting in the car. Maybe maybe maybe. Children are strange little creatures...the smallest things can set them off. So, it's not necessarily that the woman can't handle her child...it could be that they were in a bad situation. As for her talking gently to him...would you have felt any better if she'd backhanded him into the lobby and shrieked at him to "Sit the **** down and shut the **** up, you little piece of ****!" Probably not. :)

Answer 5

SMACKING any kid even your own in the FACE can be JAIL TIME. What should she have done spanked him? "which would have caused him to scream and cry MORE" AND made nothing better. My daughter has BAD ADHD she is on meds for it. She loves to climb and stomp she's 8!. She sees a counslor and dose get spanked but, not in public. I know dealing with that kid was no day of sunshine and giggles for the mom either. You had have NO RIGHT to do anything. If the childs behavior was not allowing you to do your job, you could have said mis i can't hear you please come back when he is more calm. You can't smack kids in the FACE you need to grow up more then tht child if you think that's any way to PARENT.

Answer 6

There are some parents like that, and then they wonder why their kids are on drugs, in jail, pregnant or all three. You should have asked the mother if there was something you could do to help her with her child. If she refused you could have reminded her that there were other guests that she should have been considerate of.

Anyone who tries to justify the actions of the child is going to have a crack ho for a daughter. If the mother would have had any sense she would have taken the kid outside and sat him down and explained to him that he was the child and she was the mother. He did what she told him to do, not the other way around. You should have smacked the mother for raising a rotten brat like that.

Answer 7

You don't know the circumstances surrounding this woman. Had she just driven five hours with a four year old in the car?? Four year old boys tend to be hellions anyway. But, I do agree that some parents do not have any clue on how to control their children.

I was at a wedding a few weeks ago with my two daughters, five and three years old. A woman came up to me and said, "You're kids are so well behaved." and I said "Because they know what will happen if they're not." A little fear in your children is a good thing.
Personally, I would have given them a firm taking to and appologized to you for the rude behavior.

Answer 8

A couple of reasons:

1.They are horny...don't care about the consequences.
2. They think they are ready to be parents, find out their not, and have to suffer the consequences while taking it out on the child.
3.They could be parents who are dealing with an enormous amount of stress and the child could have a behavioral disorder.

I guess I may have tried to get the boys attention and talked to him a little bit while the lady checked in. Maybe joked around..talked about the pool..anything to get the mom the time she needed and the boy some positive attention.

We can't fix everyone, but it is important to be patient with some people. True, there are a lot of nutjobs out there with kids...but patience should prevail.

Answer 9

Read the teen / preteen page and you will see where a lot of unfit parents come from, kids wanting to have sex before they are ready. The rest come from adults having kids before they are ready (which by the way, some adults will never be ready). The rest of the ones you seeing have problems with a kids....well it could just the the 1,000,000,000 time that day this has happened and they are wore flat out, sorry to say but it happens even to the strictest disciplinarian.

Answer 10

That is the MILLION $$$$ ???? I was 21 when I had my first child, but I alway KNEW I was the grown-up! You have to love your child enough to be willing to teach them right from wrong, not do what is easiest! I tell my 3 kids, "what would happen if you rode YOUR bike (when we see other kids do this) in the street"? They say "we would get a spankin'"...I say "That's right because I love you and wouldn't want you hurt"...same as I say..You throw a fit in the store I will beat your butt because I don't want you hurt (by the thought and looks of ppl judging you..rightly so...to be ill brought up). I would probably not SAY anything in your situation because I was too well brought up! BUT I would THINK (really LOUD - lol) "What is wrong with that mother that her kid's act like that!??