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I got him arrested and big trouble but why do I feel so much pain, even though I stopped him from rapping me?

2006-07-17 15:30:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health Mental Health

15 answers

i'm sorry about what happened to you. some guys could be real bastards. anyway, what kind of pain are you experiencing? is it physical, psychological, emotional, etc. you may need to see a doctor, psychiatrist, priest/pastor/minister, etc. in order for you to heal from the trauma of the attempted rape. cheers!

2006-07-17 15:41:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Yes, I agree, you probably feel "violated" because someone
touched you. This was a very tramatic episode. You need to
realize that. You had every right to stop him. Don't feel guilty.

I had at age 11, a male cousin, I was in my bedroom & he & my
aunt & uncle were in the livingroom - he came in and touched
my breast. I was appalled! Yet he made "me" feel like I did
something wrong! He threatened to tell on "me". So I kept silent
for over 25 years. I had feelings of self doubt & worthlessness
I never knew they were tied into this, until one day in counseling
I suddenly remembered the event. My counseler stopped the
session, told his secretary to hold his calls and we dealt with it
right then and there. I actually "relived" the whole incident. I
discovered I felt ashamed, guilty among others & I blamed myself
for it all, when it was "him" who did it! I didn't ask him to come to
my room! I was 11 - what did I know??? He was a pervert and
he used me. My counselor worked with me that day for over 2 hours! I was amazed at all the feelings that came out! and I
became angry! But, because I am a Christian, I had to forgive
him. I lost all contact with him after several deaths in the family,
but he developed MS - I feel he has enough to deal with - did I
wish this on him? NO! I only feel sorry for him, because he
tried to take advantage of me. I found out he has MS by accident
since we no longer talk. I only hope when he dies he answers to
God for what he did. I will not hold him captive. He has enough
to handle.

So give yourself a break! Get some counseling and move on.
It's all you can do at this point. You had him arrested - and he is
probably paying for what he did. Maybe its not enough for you?
But just think, He too, will have to answer to God for what he did.
God is our judge - let Him handle it. Set yourself free and move
on. I did and I am glad.

Good luck!

2006-07-17 22:49:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Probably because he almost did rape you!!!! That is something big, and you stopped him.... big ups to you for doing that girl!!! But it's wrong, and someone had thier hands on you, and every intention of doing something to you that you did not want! That is scary, and even though he didn't, he almost did and he tried, and that's enough for you to feel pain! Sorry for what you went through, just thank God you stopped him before he did anything else!!!! I'm proud of you and I don't even know you!!!!!!

2006-07-17 22:34:41 · answer #3 · answered by SwtPrincess1128 3 · 0 0

Because you were still violated. The police might have given you phone numbers to contact, such as a Women's Haven they provide counseling, and restraining orders. often there's no charge. this is a crisis and you need support, and to talk about it they have counseling one on one with a counselor trained in just this area, then there are group sessions you might feel confused, if you knew this person, often we are left questioning our own judgement and have some guilt. Just remember you were the victim and you survived hope this helps

2006-07-17 22:55:27 · answer #4 · answered by M 3 · 0 0

He was going to invade your personal being.... Just the sheer thought of it still haunts you. Even thought the rape didn't happen, your suffering the repercussions of the what if's and the whys.... It will still take a lot of time to recover from this. Just picture, It could have been so much more worse!

2006-07-17 22:37:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

what you are feeling is normal. i was molested by a cousin when i was six years old, and never told anyone until i was 40 years old. it was too painful to talk about. i felt like it was my fault, that i somehow provoked it. i went to a therapist, who taught me that it wasn't my fault, and it helped me to overcome this feeling of spiritual sickness that i carried for so long. speak to a therapist or a trusted friend. it is very hard to talk about, but it must be brought into the daylight before you can face the problem and overcome it. good luck.

2006-07-17 22:54:54 · answer #6 · answered by bad guppy 5 · 0 0

It was a major violation to you and your safety net. You would feel the same way if someone came at you with a knife to steal your purse, but didn't get it. You have been violated. You have been hurt. My best advice is to seek trauma counseling. It will help.

2006-07-17 22:34:05 · answer #7 · answered by MissSubversive 3 · 0 0

Proably the guilt of hurting someone, just remeber it was self denfense and try not to feel bad about it at all it SAVED YOUR LIFE! so try to keep thinking on the bright side!:D
Good luck and best wishes!

2006-07-17 22:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by R.R 3 · 0 0

Two thoughts come to mind. One , your morality and judgement of character.
We are all taught to trust our fellow man/woman and to believe that he/she are our brothers/sisters in life. Yet we don't see the real world as touching us because we'd rather walk around in the myth that our neighborhoods and houses are immune to the happenings that we see and read in the news!
It's a rude awakening that shocks our reality when we are confronted usually through an act of violence! That makes us react with revulsion at having to resort for the first time in self defense! Usually, some of us would rather go through the pain of violation rather than face the reality of our own fears!
I like you had to defend my life several times in places where I thought I was safe due to it's familiararity. My naivete' almost cost me my life! Luckily , something in me remembered a lesson long ago that I had thought I had forgotten.
Strangely, without any motivation from my mind to my situation, something made me react with such force of deadly precision that three guys hit the pavement and the rest took off running!
As the bus pulled to the curb as if out from nowhere and I boarded, I literally could not put the money in the fare box because of shaking so uncontrollably!
I literally prayed my way home , in a fog of sorts and aware of everyone who looked like they wanted to approach me. I had lost my sense of peace with the world and had to accept that some people actually prey on other!
Over time and through psycho-therapy , I came to an understanding that my youthful ways of looking at life were now over and that the world is full of people who are law abiding. But that over ten percent of them were people who didn't have a clue about brotherly/sisterly love. They were heartless , ruthless, selfish, greedy, derelicts who were void of any human qualities other than the mask that made them look like us!
You pain is natural under the circumstances and you can't continue to reflect on how you misjudge someone else's behavior. Neither can you go back wards and try to find fault in something that you did. Plus, his inability to respect himself was his own doing! You weren't the first that he had done this too!
Maybe, you saved someone from a fate worse than you experienced at the hands of this fiend!
Be proud of where you excelled under the circumstances and yes , be aware to not allow yourself the frivolity that lead you down that path to the likes of him.
Learn and relearn your status as a woman. Know that even though we live in a world that is fast changing toward a more justifiable acceptance of less gender biased thinking, there are still men who believe that woman is to be taken and treated like something worse than what she is.
You need to accept that you aren't a child with blinders on but a free thinking woman who has the capabilities of realizing her destiny and acting instead of allowing fate to determine her demise!
Keep on living and one day when you look back at this moment , you will know that you did what you had to do too survive!
Nothing wrong with that and I'm proud of you for taking the necessary steps to continue too work at being a better human being, despite the slug who thought otherwise.
There's an old saying , bad associations can spoil useful habits. As human being we are people of habits(rote).
Never let in what you can't handle and stop being so trusting in an untrusting world!

2006-07-17 23:28:42 · answer #9 · answered by Darknight469 2 · 0 0

Most girls feel like its their fault, like they were in the wrong, but they were not! Its not your fault! ITs just guilt that everyone would go thorugh if in that situation, but its normal to feel that way after something tramtic

2006-07-17 22:34:02 · answer #10 · answered by emptyinsidee 2 · 0 0

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