Someone said my poems are nice but kind of gloomy, but they don't understand that I was just venting and letting loose my feelings at that time.. here's one I wrote a long time ago, when I was a young fool in love, lol...
I didn't really like it but.. I hope you like!! (If you haven't seen my other poems, got to my Q&A and leave a comment on them for a chance at 10 pts..
What's this feeling in the pit of my stomach,
Only when I think about you?
You brighten up my day in a unique way,
It's just when I think about you..
Lovesick with butterflies,
Only when I think of you,
Hit with the laughter in your eyes,
It only happens when I think about you
You're like a brother, father, good friend
Just keeping smiling, it won't end..
I met you last week and I feel this way
Pulsing through my mind, all day
Baby, you're always on my mind,
When I'm in trouble, you're my last lifeline
I'm always trying to make time,
To just sit and think abou you..
Good for a starter huh?
2006-07-17 15:28:13 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Wowza! That was good!!
I give it a 10! Whooot! <33
I'm gonna go check out more of your poems!!
2006-07-17 15:46:38 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah R :] 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I like your other ones better. For the people who think you are gloomy here's one I wrote,
Somewhere in the night Pain is falling fast
Someone hurt somebody and can't put it in the past
Pain in her heart, or pain in her head
Doesn't make a difference if the feeling is dead
The feeling of love got lost in the mess
The feeling and caring should he be so blest
2006-07-17 23:58:44 · answer #2 · answered by mizbehavingirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10/10*
2006-07-17 22:46:11 · answer #3 · answered by ► Gavilan ◄ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay but you can tell it was the work of a young girl. Doesn't make much sense outside of the preteen circle. My best advice? Reach down inside of yourself....pull from your gut. Pour you emotions on to the paper. Best of luck to you and I hope you have an amazing week!
2006-07-17 22:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by silent.peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Used only when I think about you too often. Try...Lovesick with butterflies,
Hit with the laughter in your eyes..Only when I think about you.
it flows better that way.
2006-07-17 22:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by Georgia Girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
9 pretty gooid 4 a beginner
2006-07-17 23:12:50 · answer #6 · answered by rav 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it! I give it a 9.
2006-07-17 22:31:21 · answer #7 · answered by Amber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i rate your poem by a 10 because u xpress ur feelings on it and i like how u xpress it
2006-07-17 22:34:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really good!!!!I'm sorta a poet myself and i give it a perfect 20!!~â¥~
2006-07-17 22:39:06 · answer #9 · answered by DDTHAPPINESS 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
10 - very good
2006-07-17 22:33:12 · answer #10 · answered by navalstone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋