Okay. Me and my bf have been dating for about 3 months. I told him that I would be moving away if I got into the graduate school I've been wanting to get into. So he's known long before we even started dating.
Well, I got into the school. I found out on Friday night. The school is in NC and both of us are currently in NY. When I told him he congratulated me but really sounded disappointed. Now, I feel like he's avoiding me because I'm leaving. The program is only for 2 years since I'm not doing the thesis portion of the masters program.
I don't know why he's avoiding me. Do you think it's because he needs time to adjust and accept it? Or do you think we are drifting apart? I really love the guy, but I'm really at a loss on this.
Any advice, suggestions, opinions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
2006-07-17 15:16:18 · 20 answers · asked by knifelvr 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Hey. Thanks for the input. Some of your answers are making me cry.. maybe I AM hopeless..Deep breath...
2006-07-17 15:25:01 · update #1
If I were in his shoes, and if I love the woman very much and knowing she is moving to another city / states, I would certainly feel sad and uncertain about the relationship. But if I have enough faith in her and the relationship, I would be as supportive as I can. But the same time, I still need time to build myself up to be supportive to her. And that's if I am mature enough. Otherwise, I would see there is no future in this relationship and start to avoid her. Anyway, if you care, you should talk to him about it and not just wondering in your heart. Good luck
2006-07-17 15:27:38 · answer #1 · answered by Lune 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's probably hurting, fears losing you, and is anticipating the loneliness of the next two years. He also probably knows people change, and over those two years, you'll both change a lot; maybe he fears those changes may pull you apart. Maybe he's afraid you might not feel the same after being away for two years. The best suggestion I can offer is to agree to stay in regular contact, and then do it. Thanks to modern day e-mail and instant messengers, that's not so difficult anymore - you can use yahoo messenger or any number of other ones for free voice chatting. Send photos, and share romantic discussions (talk about a walk on the beach at sunset when you get back, or things like that). Good luck!
One more thing - if it doesn't work out, remember you are both young and life is beautiful. I'm sure you'll both find happiness eventually, whether it's with each other or not. Good luck!
2006-07-17 15:30:51 · answer #2 · answered by James F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible he thinks since you'll be down there 2 years that you're bound to meet someone else, possibly in the same program as you since you'd have something in common. On the one hand, it may seem like he doesn't trust you, but then again if he really feels lucky to have you, then of course he'll feel someone else will be interested in you too. He might also feel like if he can't move down there with you, that it shows lack of commitment and maybe you'll count that against him. It sounds like I'm throwing all this on you, and I don't mean to, but it is a long separation. If he is avoiding you, it may be that he is trying to deal with possibly losing you now because he thinks it's inevitable. Lots of hypotheticals here, but you did tell him about the possibility ahead of time, so you did what you had to do. And by all means, go ahead full speed with your masters. You shouldn't give that up under any circumstances!
2006-07-17 15:33:24 · answer #3 · answered by spacedog1969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first I'm going to tell you. What kind of future will you to have together. I mean Do you really think it will be love everlasting. If you go to this school. I there anyway possible that he could move out there. Like save your money before you go and maybe the two of you relocate.
Because I know if you two truly love each other. Your hearts will be torn apart when you are not together. Sometimes when two people are just in love. Not truly in love they will eventually find someone else. But if you two are truly in love no matter how long your apart. You will wait for each other. Because to me life is not all about how many people you sleep with. Its about find that right person and being with them forever. No matter what obstacle gets in the way.
2006-07-17 15:29:36 · answer #4 · answered by lovely soul with insite 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie if he is the nice and sweet guy who will like u for who u r then he would just no to visit u and talk on the phone everydaay, and take it from there i think maybe he neeeds some time to adjust to the idea. he is probaably bummed about u leaving he really luvs u ! it is veery possible u will meet someone new and drift apart. if he wants to keep the relation ship he will do something about it. u dont wanna come on to strong . get an im if not already itll help alot
2006-07-17 15:29:15 · answer #5 · answered by baybay11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that he is just in shock over the whole thing and needs some time to think and let it sink in, to you it is only two years, to him it probably feels like he is losing a part of himself with you leaving, he was probably happy for you when he found out, but I know that he probably didn't want you to get it because he wants to be with you and that is why he sounded dissappointed.
2006-07-17 15:25:28 · answer #6 · answered by Mr. No 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in my opinion your drifting apart, when i told my bf i was moving about 9 hours away from him he kinda acted as if we had already broken up. Guys just think that all long distance relationships don't work, and so do girls...
2006-07-17 15:21:20 · answer #7 · answered by blak_gurl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess he feels like your relationship is just taking off and soon you will have to leave. He may be happy for you but he doesn't kno where you two stand. Maybe he hasn't had a successful long distance relationship, so he may not be thrilled about you moving. I don't kno, wat you need to do is talk to him about it. Just sit him down and talk about wats going to happen in the future.
2006-07-17 15:25:38 · answer #8 · answered by Chelly Belly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would allow hims some time to bounce back, men go to their caves when they need to think things thru.. any relationship worth having, will work thru it, even if it has to survive a long duistance love affair.or something a bit less for awhile...or, maybe he will marry you and go with you.
2006-07-17 15:24:43 · answer #9 · answered by buxombeauty_1962 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he's trying to be big about you leaving and he don't know how to pull close now that it's real, you're leaving. he maybe insecure and need a little reassuring, however go to school don't let this stop you you're half way there.
2006-07-17 15:25:15 · answer #10 · answered by Honey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋