to show my condolences to a co-worker of mine whose son committed suicide last week? I don't know what to say or do.
2006-07-17 15:05:01 · 15 answers · asked by Gabrielle 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
A simple sympathy card would be good. It tells them you're thinking of them and are there if they need someone to talk to, but it's not in-your-face. Just give them a card that says something like "You're in my thoughts; if you need anything, let me know..." Then it's up to them if they need you for anything else... (just talking things through, watching other children they may have so they can go to a grief therapy group, etc.)
2006-07-17 15:10:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you really say or do will sink in at the moment, just be there for her. She will have alot of family over so one way you can be a great help is just offer to help the household with dinners or lunches and just try to take some weight off of her right now. I lost my 17 yr old brother Ryan to a drunk driver, he was only 17 and I know my mom was a complete basketcase for a solid month and she still has her days. She did not remember who was around her or anything that anyone did because she was in her own world at the time. It was later that my sister and I started recalling to her things that she remembered. My only advice is just send some flowers with a card so she can look back later and see how he was loved by many people and just offer to help in any way at all possible. Hope this helps.
2006-07-17 22:12:29 · answer #2 · answered by tejasred2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is, if they are not close friends of yours, they really dont care right now if you show your condolences or not. Thus, you are only socially expected to perform the minimum social expectations...flowers and a card.
Be selective with the card. In some religions it is a great sin to commit suicide so you may not want to reference God in the card if you dont know their faith.
2006-07-17 22:10:52 · answer #3 · answered by chambooca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, do not tell this person that "they wanted to be in a better place". That will really hurt the person at work, people should think before answering. Thats like saying, life with you was so bad they had to leave. OMG, that person that answered that way is an ***.
Just let them know that your sorry for them, and you are there if they want to talk, but don't say that if your not ready for that responsibility, bcs that person may take you up on it, and you will have to deal with that. Depends on how much you want to be involved with your coworker.
Just let them know your thinking of them.
2006-07-17 23:17:24 · answer #4 · answered by T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. You may want to send flowers and a card. Where I work we take up a collection and give the person the money.
I don't know how large the place is where you work.
Do you have computer access to that person? You could send an ecard or send them a nice I am sorry for your loss note.
I hope one of these ideas help.
2006-07-17 22:10:51 · answer #5 · answered by cheeky chic 379 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A card would be nice. Either flowers or a donation in their name to a charity would be nice appropriate. If you find out what religion they are you could give them an appropriate prayer card. Maybe contact a member of the clergy in their faith for specifics. But definately don't say nothing.
2006-07-17 22:15:43 · answer #6 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How close are you to the co-worker? See it depends. After a mother had one through such a thing I would say leave her alone. Or leave a message on her desk.
2006-07-17 22:11:39 · answer #7 · answered by korngoddess1027 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend shot himself in the head a few years ago. My first opinion on the matter is to tell her that he must have wanted to be in a better place and that he is safe now.
2006-07-17 22:10:24 · answer #8 · answered by M J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm Give him/ her chocolate, and really nice kleenex. Buy him/ her a symapthy card, give him/ her a big hug and let him/ her cry all over ur shoulders!! Offer to take him/ her and their family to dinner, show up to the funeral, and help him/ her remember all of the good times that he/ she had with her kid!! Isn't it just a damn shame when stuff like this happens!!
~*_*~dEbBiE~*-*~, 16
cHiCaGo, iLLiNoiS
2006-07-17 22:32:28 · answer #9 · answered by deby r 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would suggest to say:
"may god increase your rank and marks for being patiant for such a big tragidey and my god put your son inside his big mercy and god is the only one who can help you pass this tragidiy , i would be sensear and give him/her a hug and cray with them"
also in our culture we make food for three days for such a family because they are so busy and sad not to do food. and keep talking to her for those three days but after the three days dont mention anything so that you dont keep calling the sad memory.
few months my firnds father died and i cooked for him a simple dinner and when he saw that he wanted to cry and it was so cold weather so i gave him my coat too and stayed in could, i tried my best to feel sensearly it was my father and not him father , we are one family on this earth after all.
i dont know the person, but i really feel sorrry for such a tragidy..i wish earth is more peace and love
2006-07-17 22:11:41 · answer #10 · answered by hskz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋