Breastfeeding a 1 year old?

Question

I breastfeed my 14mth old at night to relax her and get her to sleep, but I am constantly being pressurised by older relatives to stop. Is there anyone else in the same position? How do you cope with it?
I know that I'm supposed to be in charge of this, but it makes me feel sad that others don't want me to do the best i can for my daughter.
I was just wondering if anyone else is in the same 'boat'

Answer 1

Dear Pam,
I have a wonderful, independant, smart 3 year old who happens to be still nursing. I can totally relate to the pressure you are feeling from others to wean. The age of weaning is different for every child. Some children will feel ready to wean later than others just as some will ride a bike or get their first tooth later than others. You are doing a great job. Following your heart, your instincts, and your baby's lead is a great way to show your child that you love her and respect her. As for the others who are pressuring you sometimes it's better than to just laugh it off. For example when someone asks "How long is _____ going to be doing that?" You can reply matter of factly "About five more minutes" Or when someone comments "When are you going to wean ____." You can honestly say "We have already started." (Weaning is defined as: to accustom (as a young child or animal) to take food otherwise than by nursing, so technically the first time your baby had solid food she started the weaning process. Also you could take this time to educate others if you wanted by telling them that the longer you nurse the more fully developed her immune system gets, protecting her from illness. She is also less likely to develope allergies while nursing and if and when they do develope they will be less severe. Whatever tack you take with nosy nellies, understand that you are giving your daughter the very best, not only that but you have shielded her from the risks involved in having formula introduced into her system. Way to go, Mom!

Answer 2

I am nursing my daughter, who just turned 12 months last week.

I understand your situation, as a couple of my co-workers who know I am breastfeeding ask "Is she all done nursing now?". And when I tell them "No, she still nurses 4 times a day", they give me this look like I've breached some rule of society.

Horay for you for still going! Extended nursing is great. And every Mom has a different opinion of when their child is old enough, or ready to be weaned. This is no one elses decision.

If my family ever questioned my nursing my baby beyond her birthday, I would answer them this way "YES SHE IS, AND I'M REALLY HAPPY ABOUT IT!". That should leave them with nothing more to say, because you have answered their question, AND told them how you feel about it. If they care about you, they will 'sense' that you have said your peace in a polite way. And if they have any good manners to them, they won't pick at the issue. Because it is not their business anyway. And if these older relatives do constantly pressure you to stop, when you have a moment alone with each of them, tell them that what they are saying is hurtful to you, and you would appreciate them keeping their opinion about your breastfeeding to themselves.

Besides, at bedtime, when it is just the two of you there bonding....no one else matters.

Answer 3

I nursed both my girls until after they were three. The first one, it wasnt any problem to wean her then - I just told her I went to the doctor and he took the milk out. The second was a little harder to wean, but she was much more attached to me all the time anyways. Nurse to your hearts content. If your family gives you grief about it, just act as if you dont nurse anymore if that is what they really want to hear. Otherwise, tell them you are happy and doing what is best for your child. Let them know that it will help her to be a genius, and they can thank you when she wins her Nobel Prize. My family finally stopped asking me, because the older the kids got, the more uncomfortable they became bringing it up. If you are sad thinking about stopping, then DONT! It wasn't till the past 150 years that women stopped nursing children through toddlerhood. Enjoy your time with her in bed. To me, 14 months is just a baby still. Dont make her grow up faster than she has to, if you have the luxury of nursing.

Answer 4

My son stopped this year when he was 20 months. I felt so self concious nursing after he was 1year. I really didn't have much choice. He started to refuse a bottle at around 8 months, and wasn't a good drinker. My family really didn't pressure me to stop, I think it was more me. Although I did really enjoy the closeness with him. I weaned him very gradually as he started drinking more and more from a cup. He got a cold and lost interest for a few days when we were down to one feeding a day, and I stopped. A few days later when he asked again, it broke my heart to say "all gone", his little voice replied "no mommy!" My goal was to be done before he was 2 and could really talk.

Take your time with your baby and enjoy nursing if that is what you want to do.

It amazed me that the same people at the pediatrician's office who treated breastfeeding like a religion, gave me strange looks when he was still nursing at 18 months.

Answer 5

This is a decision for you to make. If you are comfortable nursing your 14-month-old, that's your business, no one else's.

For the record, my wife committed to a 2-year stint and ended up going for 2.5-years. After the first 5 months it was a mix of nursing and expressed milk from a sippie cup (our daughter *refused* the bottle). Our daughter made the final break when she got the chicken pox at 2.5-years.

So, politely tell the older relatives that when you are *both* ready, *then* the nursing will stop. Until that time, they can kindly keep their opinions to themselves.

Answer 6

Do what you know is right in your mommy heart and don't let anyone else tell you different... This child won't be breastfeeding when she is in high school lol. One of the worst things we do is doubt our abilities as mothers, I think it is also one of the most common things we do! Good for you for nursing and good for your daughter too. One of the ways I avoided this situation to an extent was to change the subject! When grandma says are you still nursing that child to sleep just say Oh you know we are doing what's working for us ...have you noticed her new (insert whatever new thing she is doing here)..

Good luck and keep doing the right things for your family!

Answer 7

I think you will know when to stop. Occasional feeding at night to get her to sleep is no big deal. Some people breastfeed until as old as four (which I think is a little long).

Don't pay any attention to your know-it-all older relatives. Just don't tell them about things they don't need to know about. It is really none of their business.

Answer 8

I know people who breastfed until age two . . I think that is a little old . . . although I will tell you that it is you decision, I will say that I think that is a little old for it . . . if you are concerned about the breastmilk for her, pump it out and give it to her in a sippy cup . . . there are a million things you can do to get her to relax to go to sleep . . . here you may be creating a future problem when you try to get her to stop . . . you are possibly giving her a dependency to get to sleep . . . you don't want a child hanging on your breast when they are five do you? . . . whatever you chose, it is your life and don't let anyone tell you what to do . . . these are just my thoughts since you asked

Answer 9

This is a personal decision that is noone else's business. Go on and breastfeed until you and/or your daughter feel like it is time to stop. You are going to have one healthy child!

Answer 10

Ok, question for you....if you only breastfeed at night and not during the day....why aren't you dried up!? Are you sure she's getting anything from you!?

She's old enough now, she should be able to fall asleep on her own!