How would you feel if your in-law's talk to your husband's ex-wife more than they do you?

Question

I recently found out that my in-law's talk to my husband's ex-wife on a regular basis. My husband did have 2 children with this woman. His parents talk to me less than they do my husband. His grandmother is the same. She actually talks to the ex more than his parents do. His grandmother sends christmas and birthday gifts to her 7 month old baby. How should I feel?

Answer 1

my in-laws are the same way. And I have been married to my husband for YEARS and they have always been this way. He was only married to her for a very short time after she got herself prego's on purpose and blackmailed him into marriage. Of course it didn't last long, but she still got her way into the 'family' which was all she was ever after anyway. She could care less about my husband, just wanted in there. So they talk, probably on an every day basis. My husband doesn't even talk to his parents much anymore, because they are so involved in his ex-wifes life, and we moved far far away from all of them, and just let them have each other~ LOL

And for the record, I will add, my husband and I do share a son together now. My one and only child. It does not always make them come around to wanting to talk with you more. They make no bones about putting my husband's first son, before the one we have together. It's like we don't exist. Just remember you did NOT marry the in-laws, you married your husband. And you and any children you have with him, will be better off without them and their drama in their lives :)

Answer 2

You are a new kid on the block. Don't feel hurt as it's not against you. She is not your enemy or rival. Your husband chose to marry you. It's a lot about old relationships (she and your husband got divorced -- in-laws didn't) and wanting to continue contact with their grandchildren.

Be gracious to his family but then spend time with your friends and family too. Actually, it's good and healthy for the children that the grandparents continue to show interest in them -- fortunate that they do get along with the grandchildren's mother.

Just wait. Always be sweet and generous. You will have children together eventually and they'll probably shower the similar interest in you and your kids. Try and see it this way. You're lucky he has kids someone else is responsible for. You only have to enjoy them and the ex- and your husband is responsible for the discipline and training and care.

Answer 3

This is a tough one. They did have children together so
Grandparents kinda have to keep in touch. Is her 7 month
old baby your husband's? If it is then they haven't been
divorced very long and I might say that's the reason, but
if they have been divorced a while, talk to your husband
about this and just tell him it bothers you maybe he could talk to his parents but grandparents are gonna want to
keep in touch and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Since they do have children you may just have to
bite your tongue and try to remember that. If they don't
like you and they are being mean about it just for spite,
then your husband should stand up on your behalf.

Answer 4

How 'should' you feel? Well, no one can tell you that. Your feelings on any given situation are yours alone, and should neither be denied nor filtered. My advice is on how to react. All you can do is continue to treat your husband and his family with love and respect. It is your in-laws' choice whether to warm up to you or not. As long as you continue to have a strong relationship with your husband, his family or anyone else for that matter can either like it or not like it.

Answer 5

I know you must be upset. I would be really hurt to. Don't let it affect your marriage. You married your husband, not his family. He can't control what they do and if a child is involved that is their flesh and blood. Wouldn't you think less of them if they wrote the grandchild off? You just concentrate on your marriage and things will work out for the best

Answer 6

My mother-in-law didn't talk much to me, so did the rest of the family. I felt bad in the beginning, thinking that they should talk more to me, but then I accepted it. If they don't want to talk to you you can try to approach your mother in law and find out if she has a problem with you---of if that is just how she is. Good Luck

Answer 7

You should feel glad that they still have a good relationship with the ex.
I'm sure she thought it would be forever. I'm sure you do, too.
Sounds like you may be a bit jealous. Get over it, and be nice. It's not your concern who they talk to, or how much they do it.

Answer 8

Hate to tell you this kiddo but.....button it. They obviously like and respect her. Remember that should they ever BS you by telling you the opposite. Also, keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer so.....never, ever speak evil of this woman. You will put them in a position to defend her. And watch yourself. When I got married our pastor told us the 3 biggest reasons for divorce are inlaws, religion and money. The inlaws could become a potential problem for you. Be very careful here.

Answer 9

is this a personality contest? this is a free country. we can talk to anyone we want. don't let it bother you, it's no big deal. just be a good wife and if you have children, be a good mother.if this bothers you so much, pretend his ex is a cousin, not his ex wife.just be polite and don't let them know this bothers you.

Answer 10

I was inthe same situation my boyfriends mom and sister used to talk to the mother of his child everyday. we have kids together too but as long as you show you love your husband and dont act pyscho they will get tired of her after a while and will start to get to know you. trust me. they like me better than her. they say she act crazy now, steal things and have a attitude problem now so watch its going to be vice versa soon.!