so i wanna take a break from my relationship...?

Question

ive been going out with my gf for over two years and its been great; the thing is im 20, she's 19,. We're each others only serious relationship. I dont want to commit to marriage until later in my 20's. Is it ok to back off and experience life more on my own, maybe going out with some others but NOT for anything serious, telling girls ahead of im time im not looking serious, and always keeping my gf in my life and up to what's happening? Is that ok or is it cheating (i dont think it would be but im interested in yalls opinion)? We've talked a bit about backing off, but I dont want to **** things up if yall think it would be wrong... Thanks

well many say that we could find other loves and i understand this, if we find other people we love more, wouldn't that justify everything; she could find someone else while we're apart or find someone after we're married and cheat. could this just act as an opportunity to erase all doubts of love; if its meant to be it will work out?

Answer 1

I would say no, that's unbelieveably selfish of you to leave her so you can go mess around, but expect her to be there when you're done experimenting. If you want her to be your wife in your late 20's then by all means don't dare do something so selfish. If it is in fact both of you that want this "break" to be with other people, then perhaps you should ask yourself if you are actually involved in a worthwhile relationship to begin with.

Answer 2

The thought that comes to mind here is about your motives for wanting to take this break. You say you don't want to commit to marriage until your later 20's. What is the reason for this? If you are truly in love with this girl, then age shouldn't be an issues, whether you're 20 or 50, love is always going to be love. The fact that you want to take a break tells me that things might not be going the way you want them to and its not as great as you thought it might be 2 years into it. Question why she is okay with entertaining this idea also. It sounds like you just lost the romance and the honeymoon stage is over. Usually, the best way to overcome this is by spicing things back up with something new and exciting, or reverting back to the things you did when you were first together. Either way, ask yourself if there might be someone out there who could be a better fit for you, or have you already found the girl who is a perfect match and maybe this is just a slow time for the both of you.

Answer 3

That's a very difficult and mature decision to make. You guys are still very young, and while it could still work later on, you guys could both benefit from the time apart. Talk face to face about this and set up some ground rules...like no matter what happens, you two will always stay friends even if you decide you don't want to pick up where you left off. It's a tough decision, but you guys both need to see what's out there. Your 20's are a time of growth and change where you begin careers and you learn so much. Some things you'll outgrow, others you'll still hold dear but you won't know it until you get there. It's only cheating if you don't agree to both take the break. Also, please use protection...you don't want to wind up getting some other girl pregnant or catching a disease. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong with wanting to date other people, and wait until you are older for a serious relationship. Don't pretend that you can "take a break" and then come back to your girlfriend, though. Basically what you are asking for is to keep her hanging while you see other girls. It's not fair to her. Even though you say you will tell the other girls you are not looking for anything serious, sometimes things get serious anyway. Then you will be in the position of having to tell your girlfriend that you found someone else. (Assuming she's still waiting for you.) Sounds pretty messy to me. While, technically, you wouldn't be cheating, because she would know about it, it still seems like a bad deal all around - for you, her and the other girls.

Answer 5

If you are thinking about it, then you should do it. Let's say you two go ahead and get married. One day you may regret never knowing another woman and cheat on your wife. Or she could do it to you. My point is, if it's in your head, it's a desire you have and someday you'll probably act on it. No, it wouldn't be cheating. You want to know what it's like to date someone else and there's nothing wrong with that. As long as you are open with each other, you are being honest. But do keep in mind that one of you (or both) could find someone that could come between you and your present girlfriend. There's no guarantee your relationship will withstand the test.

Answer 6

Well if your gf is ok with that then ok. See other people but not seriously for a while. Take a break. After a while if you decide you still love your gf then maybe it's time to think about marrige. Just remember, if you move on so will she. Don't be too upset if she doesn't feel the same way about you in a few years.

Answer 7

well there are 2 ways to look at this your relationship and expeirenceing life... you say you have been with her 2 years but you also have to see that you are young and havent really gotten to expierence life as a whole... i think that you should talk to her trust me she will get mad and upset you just have to find a right way to approach her about it...(open realtionship is an option) and then just let her know what is on your mind...

also i understand that yo u dont want to mess things up but do you want to be in a realtionship a few years from now cheating on her just because you never got to expierience life as a whole..

personally i say you do it but think carefully about how you plan on apporaching your g/f

Answer 8

You could end up losing her just to get more 'life experiences'. It would also give her plenty of time to experience 'life'. She might fall in love with someone who only wants to be with her. I think it's more about quality than quantity. But I'd rather see you do it your way than to cheat on her. I don't think she'd technically still be your girlfriend if you are seeing other people, though.

Answer 9

I dont think u should tell her you want a break from her, if that's what u mean, b/c that would be cruel. just say that u want to take it a little easier and relax a bit. I'm assuming you constantly go out w/ her to places. tell her nicely that you want to stay at home or do something less extreme. Just dont specificly say the break is from her, which i dont think it is anyway, is it?? But u know what i mean...lol...hope things go well!

Answer 10

If you tell her you want a break, you will be damned for all eternity. You will lose her and then regret it. Then I'll say - sucked in, you had your chance and you blew it big time.

If you're not happy with your relationship, tell her. If you don't want to be with her, tell her. You can't keep her on the side while you gallivant around the country side.

You have to make a choice, use your head.