Why does my mom get mad at me so much?

Question

Ok, let me explain, Im the youngest (16 yrs old) of the family but I'm sure not treated like I am. My mom has always expected so much of me from a young age because my one brother who is 18yrs old has had dyslexia since he was little and now has got really bad depression. I have to be very careful of what I say to my brother, he is really sensitive and if I hurt his feelings my mom always gets mad at me. Yet, when he says mean things to me like swears at me and then I say something back. Im the one who gets in trouble. My mom has always treated my brother like he is something special, she neglects me and the only time I get attention from her is when she's mad at me. When my mom is going to bring me somewhere and I dont want my brother to come. she gets mad at me and leaves without me. Yet, I've told her that I'm going to move out at 16yrs old, and then she says she doesnt want me to move out. I dont know what to do, why does she get mad at me so much? i wish i could just change

Answer 1

As explained to me by my mother in law: Parents have a tendancy to help the child who is weaker. She is hard on you, despite expecting a lot of you and also because she cares about you and wants you to do well in life.

Answer 2

You have a couple of things happening here, and they're adding up to a very confusing situation for you. Why does your mom get mad at you? Because all parents want their kids to be perfect, and they're disappointed when the halo slips a little. But that isn't the basic problem here. It's the relationship between you, your mom and your brother. You don't mention your father in any of this, so it sounds as though you are in a single-parent family. If that's the case, all three of you could do with some counselling. Your mom needs to know that you can't go through life dragging your brother with you. And her insistance on this, plus the skewed relationship she is insisting on (it's quite normal for siblings to say nasty things about each other, but there's a bond beneath that that ensures they still hang together. Your mom is seriously endangering that bond) is going to result in a very unhappy scenario for you and your brother. Your brother needs counselling, because it sounds as though your mom is babying him something awful. Dyslexia is a problem, but it's not the end of the world and it can be overcome.
And you need counselling, to let you know that under all of this, she still loves you and doesn't want you to go. Sixteen is very young to move out and be on your own.
If you can't tell her this, show her this answer, and put the blame on me. But I know what I'm talking about, because my mom did the same thing to me and it wasn't until we were middle aged and my mom had died, that my brother and I had a decent relationship.
Good luck to you.

Answer 3

First off, let me tell you a few things. I am 23 years old and I have Bi Polar Disorder/Manic Depression. In your brother's case, yes it is a VERY sensitive job but someone has to be able to take it. I know you being as young as you are and the youngest, it is hard for so much pressure to be lifted on to you.

Your mother needs to realize two things. 1) that all the stress involved with your older brother should not reflect the choices or anger that she puts on you. 2) She needs to sit with you and talk heart -2-heart with you explaining his condition and hopefully you both can come to an agreement.

Another thing, with Depression you find your self looking for who you are in your quiet time. However, the depressed may say or do things that we regret later on but not at that point and moment. Maybe you should ask your mother to sit with you AND your brother and talk about it. Tell her not to be unrationable and hear you out.-Good luck :)

Answer 4

You aren't the problem - trust me... I'm your age and my Mum and I argue all the time and I know she thinks she's doing whats best for me and in most cases she is - I just feel as though she need to listen to me and if she takes the time to explain instead of just insisting her way, we'd get along a lot better... However your case is different because of your brother... you have to realise that because your Mum feels your brother can't fend for himself as much as you can, she feels more protective over him and sees you as the responsible "sibling" - her safety net, the person who's supposed to bring peace and understanding - this will be proved with the fact that she lashes out at you for something your brother says and you're just defending yourself... she doesn't expect that from you - but it's not your fault... everyone's going to do that... but you have to see both sides. Speak to your Mum, perhaps even show her what you've typed out here and offer suggestions as to how you're prefer her to be, you'd be surprised at how willing she'll be to help when she knows how you're feeling - no one (especially a mother who seems as caring as loving as yours) wants her child to be unhappy and will try to make it up to you (though she may get lost along the way) - be tolerant... because I really can tell than although she loves you, there will be "clashes" sometimes...

Answer 5

it's extremely hard to ask you as a 16 year old to be the mature one..but if u want to be happy and not make ur family upset, you have to try your hardest to understand that your mother must have a lot problems dealing with your older brother... and takes it out on u. that is totally unfair, and yet, if u want to get along w/ ur mother, the best thing to do is show her that you ARE a good person, good daughter, good sister, and eventually she should respect you. for example, i have a pretty bad relationship w/ my older sibling, and because of problems in her past, my mother and aunt are ALWAYS telling me that I have to calm down, give in, etc etc. when i was younger, i never understood and felt it was sooo unfair!! but now i understand that they were never "worried" about me growing up w/ problems, and were focusing their attention on the child who they thought needed more attention. but my sibling still has Major problems relating to people and family members and is just so angry, so the way they treated her special didn't do too much good in the end.... try and be a good daughter and supportive to your mom.. i have a great relationship w/ my mom, even tho sometimes she is unfair. at least i know she is not afraid of me, and respects me as an adult and is proud of me. :) don't worry, time will heal ur relationship w/ ur mom, as long as it is important to you. and try to get through to ur brother, who is 18.... he must have anger issues, and if u can be a good shoulder for him to lean on, he will learn to do so for you. me and my sis talk more now and we are 26/29...and that's due to chatting online, not cuz we are closer now. =T

Answer 6

she probably has no on else to take her stress out, i doubt that she's angry with you half the time she yells, it's probably just because the stress from the day, and then the stress from your brother's health, etc builds up and as soon as you come along, it explodes on you. she doesn't want you to move out because your her child and she loves you and cares for you more than you can imagine. try talking to her, don't tell her that she shouldn't yell at you, talk to her, at first about her, how she's doing, if she has any problems, etc. then, ease into how it hurts your feelings at how she is always yelling. apologize, even if it isn't your fault, (this may be horrible but...make her feel guilty about bringing all her anger and stress out on you) hopefully things will start going smoothly. good luck :)

Answer 7

Tell your mom about this.Or YOU can get mad at her befor she gets mad at YOU.Just simple get mad at her for getting mad at you and refuse to not be mad at her until she apoligizes and stops treating you like this.

Answer 8

The problem isn't you, you and your mother need a real heart to
heart conversation about this.

Answer 9

You're annoying?

Answer 10

its because she loves you