Dating after the death of a spouse?

Question

My hubby passed away on fathers day of this year. I think i am dealing with it well I have my moments where i cry and i really really miss him still but i am lonley and long for a guys arms to be around me. Is it ok to seek out a relationship this early? How long should I wait before dating again? Ok I should clarify alittle here! I am not looking for a new husband or marriage. I am just wanting to go out and have the security and intimacy of having a guy. I am not a one night stand person so no I am not looking for sex nor would i give it out to just anybody. I feel like this is what i want but and worried that others may be offended. I have been talking to a guy friend for a few weeks and he wants to meet he understands my situation and that i need to take it slow. he is very sweet.

Answer 1

it's a hard time, i know. i was surprised when a couple months after burying my husband, i had feelings for someone else. it almost made me feel guilty. what did happen was i gave myself permission to move on. i realized that life was turbulant and it would take a long time to heal, but i would get through. wanting someone isn't bad. i just realized that i did want someone, so i made it a point of being careful who i wanted. like realizing your are vulnerable. be aware of your feelings cause it's an emotional rollercoaster.

you can also find security and intimacy in the friendship stage. finding ppl who let you talk it out was the best thing for me. as ppl said, do what works for you and know that you won't feel like this forever.

*hugs*

Answer 2

Dating After Death Of Spouse

Answer 3

Well it depends are there any children who may be hurt? How old are they? How close are you to his family? How would you feel if they did not approve?

You said you were worried about offending others. If these others are you children and/or close family members who opinions mean a great deal to you than that is something you will have to consider. How long was your husband sick? You said that you have been talking with your friend for a few weeks yet your husband died only 1 month ago. How long were you married?

I think you need to answer these questions for yourself. There is nothing wrong we staying friends. You have to make your own decision but for me 1 month after my husband dies I might be able to quit taking the anxiety medication. I certainly would not be looking for male companionship at that point.

Answer 4

Nobody knows you better than you. When finding a guy give it some time, do not rush it!!! Try to stay away from the bar scene and the internet. Once you feel like you can really trust this person and know him to a comfortable level, and you both know where each other is coming from then I would say that you are ready. There are million wonderful guys out there, just rush it thinking that this guy is perfect, and he's the only one.

Answer 5

You are the only one to make that decision, if you go out or date doesn't mean you forgot or didn't love your husband...I would suggest you take it slow, go out, dinner and movies...don't hurry to an intimacy with a stranger and risk to get hurt even worse than now.....do what your heart tells you but be careful, don't involve feelings until you're 100% sure is not just a one night stand...men can be cruel regardless of your situation,believe me...good luck

Answer 6

i'm 23. my dad passed away 3 years ago on July 1st. my mother started seeing someone shortly after and her deal was the same as your's. it's just having someone there. your being reasonable. you can't expect to have someone there everyday all the time and all of the sudden no one is there. i get it and i support it. i realize that i've never been in your position but i've seen it and dealt with it to an extent. if you have children try to be up front with them. obviously they don't want to know if you're having any sex at all. i mean quiet frankly even though my parents created me that way and did a damn fine job, it's gross, let's be honest. but all joking aside, just be honest because despite anything you might think, your kids know whats going on. and like you said, take it slow. and don't let yourself settle for someone just to have that company. there's no one who can tell you how long to wait. you do whats comfortable and makes yourself happy right now, thats all you can do.

Answer 7

I think you should set your own time limit. I can tell by the way you worded your question, you are probably not ready to date. You loss is just to new and hurting. If you would like to meet this guy arrange to do it in a public place. Invite him for coffee, dinner or a drink and have him meet you there. I am sorry for your loss, and I hope you do find love again.

Answer 8

I think that you should make the call, I wouldn't jump right back into the dating game, I would take things slow, because right now you are still dealing with the pain it sounds like. Take it slow and when you feel confident, then just try it, you don't want to get hurt right now and cause more pain

Answer 9

I know that I maybe younger then you, and that I have never been married, but I think that as long as you respect your husband's death, ie: not just forgetting him and moving on.
The thing is with this. You loved your husband, and you know that he would have done anything to make you happy. Well if having someone to comfort you makes you happy, don't you think he would understand.
But don't just go russhing into a new relationship until you know that you're ready.

Answer 10

you are only human and i feel you get lonely and need some one to talk to yes people will talk and they will be nasty about it wondering if you were true to your husband so here is what you do go out for coffee and dinner dont bring him to your home just yet.always a public place so it will show you have nothing to hide. i didnt know your husband but i feel he would not want you to go on greeveing i wish you the best and MAY GOD bless you and send you some one who will love you and treat you with the up most respect