Christians Only, What about dating?

Question

A man (21) wants to date a woman (20), he has known her two years and met parents. The girl's parents don't think she is ready in her walk with the Lord to date yet. Is it wrong for them to date?
She wants to honnor her parents, but feels she is ready to date.
Both are Christians in the same religion.

They have seen each other for the last year with a group, never alone. they have spent two years IMing and on the phone.

They both love the Lord, serve him and serve in church. They have been Christians a long time, since early childhood, and are rooted and grounded in the Lord.

I should have said both are Christians in the same denomination and attend the same Church at University, but not when at home in the summer.

Answer 1

Ah yes, the great question of what exactly 'honoring your mother and father' entails. You need to do things that would make them proud of you. As an extreme example, if your father asks you to murder a man, you would not be honoring him by following his request. This woman must, therefore, first do what is right. She needs to become her own person, capable of making her own decisions and using her own judgement. She might try a compromise. She could tell her parents that she feels she is ready to date and is going to do so. She will be praying to God for guidance, but she also looks to her parents for guidance, and so asks for their help. Since she is going to date, what advice can they give her? What recommendations can they offer? What guidlines have they found useful? How would they want her to date? She needs to be her own person, but in such a way that her parents can be proud of her.

Answer 2

I like to think that "Honor thy Father and Mother" is more a suggestion that when they die you should make sure that they have a nice little tomb stone; everything beyond that is just gravy Heh

My suggestion is that she, as a 20 year old girl, should confront her parents and have an adult conversation with them. They have both played a rather substantial role in making her who she is; and thus, play a substantial role in the decisions she makes. She should try to cover all the reasons why she feels the way she does, but at the same time, she should also listen to them and try and understand their perspective on the matter. What needs to be established though in this conversation is that this is in essence her decision, and that they can't simply make it for her. If this is done properly there shouldn't be any hard feelings on either side which ever way she decides.

Answer 3

Look, this whole christian dating thing has me baffled simply because after 18+ years of Catholic school, Christian dating seems to be quite lenient, liberal even. what is all the Hubbub bub?
"Both are Christians in the same religion." Do you mean the same church/denomination, with the same pastor? The way I read it it sounds redundant, and I'm not trying to be critical, I am curious what it means to you/your church.
"Walk with the Lord"? Is there some program or something you have to through with your church before you start dating?
And like you mention, they are both over 18, time for them to make their own choices, I could understand that their would be more of a debate if they were young teens, but this is ridiculous.

And Some one mentions "Bible Loving Minister" I'd just like to say DUH!! In the dictionary under redundant, it says se redundant!

Answer 4

It all depends upon whether she is still living at their house or not. If she is still living at their house then she should be subject to their rules. However, she might see if a compromise could be arranged like double dating with another Christian couple.

If she is living on her own then I think she should do her best to tell her parents that she loves them and appreciates their concern and will be committed to honoring the Lord on their date but she has reached the age where she has to walk on her own and they have to let her have the opportunity to grow up and risk making mistakes.

Answer 5

Here's a link to a site that has a lot of advice for Christians, including dating: http://www.christianadvice.net/

I truly understand honoring her parents, but at 20 years old, she certainly knows her own mind and should be free to date as well.

I can't see why Christian parents would forbid their child from dating as long as she was raised right and is morally sound.

Answer 6

A woman who is 20 is exactly that- a woman. A Christian woman can honor her parents AND still make her own decisions in life, even if they differ from the ones her parents would have her make.

Answer 7

Parents have no say in what a 21 year old does. Quit acting like it's the dark ages.

Answer 8

JW, How do her parents know what God has planned for "the girl"? And besides, she's an adult, and should be able to make her own decisions. If, and i'm asuming the girl is you, if you want to date the dude, and you feel it's right then go for it, just don't do something you would regret later

Answer 9

There is absolutely nothing wrong with her dating. I would think at 20 the girl would already be out on her own, unless she's going to university and living at home to save money.

Answer 10

Is the young man a Christian too? For if not, that may be the reasoning behind her parents not willing to allow to her date. It is never wise to be involved with someone who is uneven yolked as the Bible puts it. Tell the girl to pray to God for the right choice she is to make.

I wish her well and I pray that God will guide her in whatever choice she chooses.