Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 4 yrs. and when we are in public or around our famlies he is not as touchy feely as he is when we are alone. Does that mean he is trying to hide his feelings or is he ashamed of me?
2006-07-17 11:17:32 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I agree with sorahya on this for the most part. Men don't want to seem weak, especially around their friends, and being all "gushy" in front of them is last on their list.
But you have been together for 4 yrs. so he definately isn't embarrassed of you, and you say he shows you affection when you're alone, so don't worry.
It could also be that he cherishes your relationship and doesn't want to "cheapen" it with PDF where EVERYONE can see. Maybe it is private, and special to him.
2006-07-17 11:34:38 · answer #1 · answered by WatRuLknAt 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's a time and a place for touchy-feely, and it's when you're alone with the one you love. If he's not all over you in public, it doesn't automatically mean he's trying to hide his feelings or that he is ashamed of you; it could very well mean that he is showing you some RESPECT by not groping you in front of your entire families.
Has this recently changed? That is, did he previously kiss and hug you more in public than he's done now? A lot of that coule just be maturity -- if those four years took place during the stretch between 14 and 22, there is a HUGE developmental change during pretty much ANY four-year period in that range. He may no longer feel the need for constant reinforcement that yes, in fact you ARE his girlfriend. He may be feeling more secure in his relationship with you and is therefore no longer in constant need of reassurance that you two have an intimate physical relationship. He may actually be able to delay gratification for a few minutes, to put off doing something he enjoys (touchy-feely with you) when it's not appropriate. Or to put it another way: I LOVE cuddling and petting my wife, but I don't do it when I'm driving on a race track. There's a time and a place for everything.
Some people are simply more private than others, too. I have two teenage daughters; the oldest, now 18, had several boyfriends through high school and I don't think I saw her kiss any of them, maybe once. Oh, they'd sit on the couch and cuddle watching movies, but that's all she felt comfortable showing. The younger one came home from a Hallowe'en party her freshman year in high school, burst into the room where her mom and I were watching TV, threw her arms wide and announced, in a loud and excited voice, "I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BOY!" (I thought I was going to have to do the jump-start-the-heart thing to my poor wife...) So he may just be more like the first daughter than the second.
2006-07-17 20:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by Scott F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him yourself. Some people are simply shy to express their feelings in public, and for others, they prefer not to engage in displays of public affection.
It is most likely a case of shyness, rather then a dislike or a case of being ashamed to be seen with you, but until you open up and talk to him, you will never know.
Good luck!
2006-07-17 18:20:55 · answer #3 · answered by Khalen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
probably not, some people were brought up with no public display of emotion. ex. mom, dad, friends hugging, kissing, and so on. This can lead people to be lacking on support for public displays of effection. That doesn't mean he is a bad person, just isolate in that area. Plus in the so cald mascaline world that is not top on the list to show effection.
2006-07-17 18:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend does the same thing. He gets drunk and is all over me and tells me sweet things and really makes me feel great about myself...and then when he sobers up it's different. It's like he can't say those things again. We've been together for a year and a half. It's confusing and it hurts sometimes, I know. Why we put up with it, I'm not sure. I'll let you know when I figure it out : /
2006-07-17 18:19:46 · answer #5 · answered by Gabrianna Faith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men do that. It's just a guy thing. I doubt he's ashamed of you! Guys have been brought up and taught by society that hiding feelings is what to do. Why don't you talk to him and express your concerns?
2006-07-17 18:21:02 · answer #6 · answered by sekhtet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he is trying to hide his feelings or is ashamed of you. He is probably just not a person to show affection in public.
2006-07-17 18:21:00 · answer #7 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it really doesn't have anything to do with you. he's probably just a little shy and realizes thats it's borderline rude to be all over you in public, even worse in front of family. relax, if it's been that long i'd imagine you're ok. ask him whats up or tell him how you feel, he won't get pissed. sometimes guys don't even notice we act different in front of other groups of people. i know that sounds kinda stupid but i'm serious.
2006-07-17 18:21:44 · answer #8 · answered by adman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he watches one too many rapp videos...I use to be that way when I was 15...especially around my guy friends...it's some stupid ego thing about being hard and/or a player...it's nothing more than bullsh!t.Hopefully,he'll grow out of it.
2006-07-18 23:23:03 · answer #9 · answered by ?reature feature 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's because they think if people see them caring those people might think they were famine. Most guys just want to act hard because they don't want to be called soft around other people.
2006-07-17 18:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by Girl in love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋