i work long hours and donthave a lot of time with my kids and when i am home i am totally moody and just want 5 minutes of peace and quiet. my kids naturally cant understand that (they are 5,4, and 16 months) so i get more agrivated. any suggestions?
2006-07-17 10:48:49 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
on your drive home from work scream at the top of your lungs for a couple minutes
you will be amazed how much better you feel
2006-07-17 10:51:24 · answer #1 · answered by Mr nice guy 2U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried meditaion? The 16 month might not get this, but you could try it with the other kids. Make it into a game. Pick a spot in the house which can become your "meditation spot". Put on some soothing music. (I have found a lot of great music such as FLUTES OF THE WORLD at Target.)
OK - all of you sit down on the floor - on pillows if you want. Now practice breathing deeply. Place hands on tummies and feel the stomach push outward with the breath and then slowly blow the breath out as you say "psssttt". Feel the tummies go in was the air goes out. The kids will love making the psssttt sound Do this several times. Then holding hands and just sit quietly for a few moments. As you feel the body calming down - ask the kids specific things about their day, such as what is the nicest thing that happened to them that day, or what nice thing did they do for someone else or someone else did for them. (guide them) You share a little about your day. Think only of nice things. Your sharing might be (someone smiled at you, etc.) Pretty soon you will all be calmer and happier. Once you do this several times it will become a daily ritual for your family and you can then proceed with the rest of your evening together....making dinner, playing together, baths, whatever. Eventually you might even get the kids to understand that you need a quiet time alone in the bath (with candle and soft music) or just reading or whatever.
Once you and the kids can use this regular meditation time to begin your unwind you will be well on the road to inner peace. Good luck and namaste'. (Namaste' means - let the light in me honor the light in you) By the way - this meditation only has to be 5 -10 minutes. I know you can do it!
2006-07-17 11:03:09 · answer #2 · answered by dddanse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. what really is stressing you out? I bet it's not the kids. I'd say they just get the brunt of what you have left from a long day at work. If I'm right, you need to fix the work situation to fix the kid situation. Too much to do? Too little input from the boss? Too much? Find a way to take that out of your life and you'll probably not need to 'decompress' after work.
2. How important are your kids? Do they rank higher or lower than your alone time? Right now, they seem to rank lower. But that's not a bad thing. I just want you to actually recognize it. If you need peace before family, I can recommend something my dad did. He'd not come home right away. We lived next to a park. He'd stop at the park, get out of the car, and just listen to himself and the world around him. He came back happier for it. Find your quiet spot and go to it before going home. (screaming in the car is fun for awhile, but you'll scare the other drivers.......)
I put this alot in my answers, but it truly does help: Read the 7 Habits by Stephen Covey (either the People or Family edition). It helps to find your stressors and plan a way to not get stressed out to start with, so you don't waste time destressing. It gives you focus about what you want to do today, tomorrow, next year. It helps you to remind yourself of what you love and value most. It is a truly wonderful read (also comes on audio)
2006-07-17 11:26:28 · answer #3 · answered by Ananke402 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there anywhere you can stop on your way home, take a walk for 15 mins or something? Maybe get a nice coffee drink or something and make your drive home your own little haven - the right music, a smoke, whatever - and try to relax that way.
If all else fails, pop in a new kiddie video and take a shower when you get home - that could buy you 15-30 mins of solitude. Once you get that time to yourself, you are better able to be a fun mommy - totally worth it. You must nourish yourself first, then there will be plenty for others.
Peace!
2006-07-17 10:53:18 · answer #4 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand what you are going through i find myself in your situation more often than not. I too get really aggravated when i can't get any time for myself. What i do is constantly remind myself that they are children and they mostly do anything for attention so i take them for walks. i find that this not only is a great way to spend time with them i also get to work out a little by the time we get back they are tired and ready for a nap.
The best thing to remember is that your children won't always stay little and you have to enjoy the time you have with them now. I know it is hard to manage so many things at once so you should try anything that is available to you, taking a bath, having dad take over for a while, etc...
Good luck and remember the time you spend with them now will make great memories later....
2006-07-17 11:07:13 · answer #5 · answered by mysteriouskisses12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to relax more efficiently? To me, relaxation takes time, by definition.
Why do you work such long hours? Do you need the money so badly? If you worked just 30 minutes less every day, could you make ends meet and be happier around your kids?
2006-07-17 10:57:28 · answer #6 · answered by foofoo19472 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take 5 to 10 minutes a day to my self. I lay on my bed. And keep repeatind. ( I am calm, I am peaceful, I am relaxed) I have done it for about 18 months now and it works for me. I really hope you find your own way I know how hard it can be. Good Luck.
2006-07-17 10:53:37 · answer #7 · answered by Kali_girl825 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a very stressful life also, and though it sounds trite, deep breathing really works. If you can get alone in a quiet room for even 2 or 3 minutes and just breath, deep and steady, it will calm you down.
good luck
2006-07-17 10:55:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
scream into a pillow lock your self in the bathroom ... stop at a park or some where your comfortable stopping at for 5-10 mins after work on your way home .. it will help u to unwind and leave the work problems at work
2006-07-17 10:52:28 · answer #9 · answered by cailey17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st thing stop and breathe. 2nd change jobs cause if you get that stressed out at work and bring it home to your children then something is wrong. if changing jobs isn't an option then talk to your doc and see about getting a prescription of adivant.(not sure of the spelling, but sure of the effects it is definitely a chill pill if taken right)
2006-07-17 10:58:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋