2006-07-17 10:30:25 · 16 answers · asked by andy b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
At some point, as difficult as it is, our children must become adults and take responsibility for themselves. Often the only way to force this is to remove the support network. If you believe your daughter is capable, a little tough love now will pay off greatly in the future.
2006-07-17 10:33:43 · answer #1 · answered by mrkymrk64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi sweetie, didn't get the answer you wanted last night or are you just not brave enough to do what you know you've got to do?
Take a stand and stop letting her use you like a maid, cleaning up all her problems. She needs to stand on her own two feet and take responsibilities for her actions/decisions.
If I was you I'd go on holiday for a few weeks and see what she does then when your not around. But don't leave her in your house whilst your gone that defeats the whole purpose!!
Good luck and God grant you the courage you need to make the right decision...x
2006-07-17 10:37:12 · answer #2 · answered by Sweetcakes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it definately time to ask her what the problem is when she keeps leaving, only to go back to him. I assume you mean her boyfreind?
She really needs to sort herself out. She might benefit from living on her own for some time; not with her boyfreind or a family member. Its not good to be so dependant at that age.
2006-07-17 10:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by sarah c 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it is difficult to known the line between helping out your child or co deendency. You should of started to say no a long time ago. If your kid really had things together and she hit a bump in the road then it is ok to give her $10 for gas. But we are taking about her ability to function enough to live on her own. Are you ready to support her the rest of her life?
Have you read the book tough love? Believe me I have been in your shoes twice. My youngest finally joined the air force which did a world of good for him. My youngest struggles to be on her own but because I havn't rescued her (except for very minor help) She is working and has her own place. If she borrows $20 for gas she pays it back. On a rare ocassion I tell her to not worry about it.
Our job as parents is to love our kids and help them grown into independent self relient adults who function well in society. Some of us have kids who, no matter how good of a parent we are, make bad choices. At age 25 she needs to be on her own. If she continues to go between friends and family she will learn to be dependent.
If there are drugs or drinking in her life, she will be stealing things so she can sell them for her addictions. It is time to change the locks on the doors- or add extra locks. Tell her that you love her but it is time for her to take care of herself. She will beg and plead and try to make you feel like a bad parent. It is the good parent who STOPS this dependent behavior. Get yourself some support, like alanon or get counseling to keep strong in your resolve to help your daughter get control of her life.
There is a point where we as parents have to let go. If your daughter keeps crashing in life, that will be her choice. Tell her that she is an adult and it is time for her to take care of her own life. If there is substance abuse here, you need to get her into rehab. If you have done this manyt times then there is a point you need to step back with confidence knowing that you have done all you can do to get her help and now as an adult you can no longer rescue her.
Be strong. Sometimes in life, the hardest thing to do is the best thing to do.
2006-07-17 11:12:38 · answer #4 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes my mum did that to me, i hated her at the time but it's the best thing she ever did. It made me grow up and take responsibility for my own life. Tough love is sometimes the best method. Good luck
2006-07-17 10:38:59 · answer #5 · answered by BUNKUM! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can, try to find out what is causing her to behave this way and help support her in finding the help she needs. You can do significant damage to her self-esteem by turning your back on her. There is something between a girl and her daddy. If you love your daughter, please don't ever break that.
http://www.fathers.com/articles/cat.asp?cat=12
2006-07-17 10:36:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People make mistakes and some learn quicker than others. The one thing most young people can count on is that their parents will be there for to support them when other people aren't.
2006-07-17 10:36:37 · answer #7 · answered by Bomb Jack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to let go so she can stop depending on you every time something goes wrong. Let her take care of herself. This will also help her to stop making the same mistakes over and over again.
2006-07-17 10:35:14 · answer #8 · answered by Zeta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
regardless of how many times this happens you as a parent should always be there for your kids but dont let them use you either make them responsible for helping with house hold bills and expenses
2006-07-17 11:35:48 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time she grew up, your not helping her by finding her a place to live.
2006-07-17 10:41:48 · answer #10 · answered by A G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋