my boyfriend has intimacy issues. He is 24. He comes from a family in that his parents are still living together yet they should be divorced. His parents sleep in different beds. He once told me that he thinks he has intimacy issues. He is not a touchy feely guy, whever i talk with him about intimate stuff, he needs to sit away or the other end of the bed or couch. He smokes pot (only once in a while) but claims he gets better orgasms through that. Well deep down i feel that he wants intimacy but dosn't know what to do. He sometimes cuddles with me, he did say he loved me once , but only when drunk. Last night, he smoke pot, but only very little. That night he showed affection toward me like no other time, it was very nice. Is it possible this man loves me, but just can't admit it as he has such issues dealing with feelings. Ive been datin g him 6 months, im also 24. Although he is loud and wild with his friends, he is opposite with me. Any opinions?
2006-07-17 10:22:46 · 6 answers · asked by hersheybar99 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You are probably right, that he has those feelings. My questions to you are: are you willing to do all the work and wait for the neccessary amount of time that it would take for him to recover from this? Does he want to get better? Do you want to be with a pot-head for the rest of your life? Why are you sleeping with him if he only says he loves you when he is drunk?
He probably has great potential, but some people never reach their full potential because things like abuse and addictions get in the way. You have to decide how much you are willing to endure because he may never recover. Consider that you deserve more than to be around a man who cannot tell you he loves you when he is sober and can't be himself all the time.
Take care.
2006-07-17 10:33:21 · answer #1 · answered by Sara B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's obviously a loser. Why waste your time with him?
This, "has intimacy issues" crap is just that, crap. This person chooses to act a certain way, particularly with you that is unpleasant. It also sounds like he is a substance abuser.
Let me look into my crystal ball to see the future of your relationship. I see you married with 3 kids. You have to work because all he does is sit around all day smoking pot. Lately, he's started smoking crystal meth and beats you. You haven't had sex in 2 years. Not to worry though as he is in the process of abandoning you for this crack whore he met the last time he visited his dealer.
Don't believe me? Of course you don't. Neither did the last 100 or so women I've met who are just like you. Didn't change the direction their lives took.
2006-07-17 10:30:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
If he needs substances to profess his love to you verbally and physically then he's got serious issues. Your to young to be in a relationship with so much baggage. You want to be a girlfriend not a psychiatrist.
It is up to you dearie. Sit him down and tell him str8 out what's what. If he is not willing to start acting like a "normal" boyfriend to you then it is time for you to jump ship.
He has bad role models in his parents.He is obviously emotionally detached, you will suffer from it more in the end. No one deserves to be deprived of love and affection.
2006-07-17 11:08:58 · answer #3 · answered by Spay-n-Neuter-Your-Pets 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think if you really love someone you should work with them and talk to him about it and it might take years but he will eventually open up. it's hard when someone didnt grow up around affectionate parents to know how to show someone that they love them, he just doesnt know how, but he'll learn.
2006-07-17 12:09:20 · answer #4 · answered by Polly W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump him because it only gets worse! you cannot change someone else! Trust me I have been there
2006-07-17 10:26:56 · answer #5 · answered by dumbunny33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's gay.
2006-07-17 10:35:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋