How can this be true? Is the Bible wrong?

Question

Ecclesiastes 4:12
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Three strands meaning a marriage that includes God is stronger than a marriage without God.

In 1999, a *Christian* sociologist named George Barna published these results on divorce rate:

Born-again Christians - 27% are divorced or have been divorced
Other Christians - 24% are divorced or have been divorced
Atheists, Agnostics - 21% are divorced or have been divorced

Wow, it looks like the Bible is wrong, the very opposite of what it says is true! How do you explain this?

So much for "The family that prays together, stays together".

http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm

Answer 1

I'll give you a more frightening set of statistics...
Born-again Christians - 73% of their marriages end in death.
Other Christians - 76% of their marriages end in death.
Atheist, Agnostics - 79% of their marriages end in death.

Those are some scary numbers.

Answer 2

If you are doubting the Bible, then there are no roots to your faith. A person who doubts that the Bible is the Word of God is like the seed that was planted on shallow ground that the birds pecked at.
First, one must be established in the faith.
Then, that person marries a believer with the same kind of faith in God, or else the house is divided and where two cannot agree, how can they walk together?
So, the basics are first, the foundation of faith.

If so-called "Born Again" Christians are divorcing, one or both are NOT "born-again" for true Christians pray to work things out and restore the love in their marriage that was at the beginning of their relationship.

True Christians pray together and God helps them to
stay together, but if they don't put God first in their lives
and follow His leadership by His Holy Words, then there is danger of a failed marriage.

Even if one is a non-believer, a wife or husband can be "salty" to make them thirst for the sweetness of the Holy Spirit that they as a believer manifest in their daily walk.

With God, a marriage can be saved.
But if one has an attitude of "So much for that..."
God cannot come where He is doubted.

Get a grip on the Word and stand firm in your convictions that first and fpremost, the Holy Bible is true and God can and will help a marriage IF we put Him first in all.

That means respecting and loving our spouses, and obeying His Word regarding our spouses.

God never said to get divorced so why blame Him?

Every word that we say especially on a public forum is influencing someone for better or for worse and we will give account on That Day for helping or hindering someone with our words.

If we cannot say something to encourage someone in their Christian walk, we should say nothing at all.
But especially, we should not try to plant a seed of doubt
in some person's mind regarding the Truth of the Bible.

Subtle suggestions that make the Bible
seem a false Book is walking on dangerous
grounds in the eyes of God.

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was God.
John 1:1

Don't doubt It, because if you do, it's the same as doubting Him.

Answer 3

That is still very true. What you are doing is quoting a verse that doesnt apply to what your argument is.

Ecclesiastes is saying its better to have friends, because the lone person is easily overcome when two or more people aren't. It's not saying a christian's marriage will automatically never have difficulties or fail because the bible says so.

You are quoting A, which really has no relation to your argument B.

Actually, given that the divorce rate approaches 50% for marriages as a whole, if not higher, a 27% failure rate isnt that bad. Simply because a person is christian, doesnt mean they will be a paragon of moral virtue.

To sum up, the Bible isnt wrong because of the verse you quote. People together are stronger than those apart.

Answer 4

Without a controlled study, you can't really say there is a relationship between religion and divorce. Atheists tend to be riched and better educated, so maybe those traits correlate well with not divorcing.

However, I wouldn't be surprised to find a relationship, since in my experience, Christians have been some of the quickest people to turn hateful for petty reasons. Over and over, I've had groups of Christians decide I'm not worthy to be their friend because of my lack of belief in their system or my (slightly) different morals or even just a "calling" by the "holy spirit" to stay away from me (which someone actually once claimed).

Certain extreme elements of the religion base people's value on what those people believe, and I could see that leading to marital difficulties, e.g. if the wife becomes disillusioned with fundamentalism and the husband refuses to accept that.

In my experience, atheists have more tolerance for differences. That may or may not be generally true, but it's what I've seen.

Answer 5

Hey, Jack,

Yep, Barna (a Christian) published those results. And yeah -- that's the problem, Christianity has become a "cultural phenomena" in the US, rather than each person embracing whatever faith they've actually puzzled through and committed themselves to.

There's a big problem -- Christians supposedly believe in the sanctity of marriage, but they don't know how to actually be married or what it means to love someone over the long haul.

So I'd be bugged too.

But what's the deal with misapplying the verses? I think I answered this specific question earlier today, so I'm freshly acquainted with them, and those verses are discussing relationships in general... not marriage in particular.

If you meant to point out inconsistent faith statements among Christians, why aren't you pulling out of the horde of New Testament comments specifically discussing the sanctity and importance of marriage? Instead, you forced a connection that isn't even really apt in this case.

That, coupled with the sarcasm...? What exactly are your motivations here? (And if they're what they seem to be... well, why even bother? It really lowers the standard of the dialogue.)

Answer 6

Some people that claim to be Christians have never really accepted Christ. Some real Christians do not include God in their marriage and get caught up in things of the world, forgetting how much they need to keep God in their lives. A Christian couple that keeps God intertwined in their lives and marriage will have a bond not easily broken. Satan attacks Christian couples with everything he has and some that don't rely completely on God can not handle it. Ecc. 4:12 does not say a cord of three strands never breaks, it says is not quickly or easily (depending on your translation) broken.

Answer 7

I'm a marriage and family therapist. These statistics appear to be true, although we should all be skeptical until you can see the way the data was collected and analyzed. It has also been asserted that the divorce rate in states with the highest rates of church attendance are higher than the divorce rates where church attendance is lower. The reasons for divorce are complex, but it is very clear that Christian faith does not shield anyone from the stresses of marriage.

Answer 8

The same link that you cite says that the divorce rate for Catholics and Lutherans is the same as that for the atheists and agnostics -- 21%.

So, it's not quite true that, as you say, "the Bible is wrong."

Besides, the survey seemingly makes no effort to determine how devoutly or seriously all these Christians, including the Catholics and Lutherans, practice their faith.

For all we know, the survey is lumping in lapsed Christians of every stripe (including Catholic and Lutheran) in with the more seriously-practicing ones.

Until we know how many of the divorcing Christians are devout ones and how many of them are lapsed or lukewarm in their faith, this survey of Mr. Barna's doesn't go very deep.

The bottom line: the claims made by Mr. Barna, and you, are at the very least oversimplistic.

Answer 9

it's true. no the bible is not wrong. The fact is, those figures are less than secular society, where the divorce rate is about 50%. And yes, it's stil lhigh, but poeple aren't perfect. and Even though someone is Christian doens't mean they know how to keep God in their marriage.

Howwever, one thing I have noticed with Christians, particulary those involved with a ministry, or in a bible college or something, tend to marry people in that ministry, and only after a short time knowing them. Then, they get so involved with the ministry that they neglect the family! So Christians are marrying young, and perhaps too soon after meeting the person, and then neglect them.
But that's not what the bible says to do, is it? It's just what people do.

Answer 10

Well, many people who claim to be Christians, even if they ARE Christians.. do not act as such. In todays society many people think of divorce as the easy out... if times get hard they just get a divorce. Many do not see it as a moral issue. AND there isn't a lot of teaching/preaching on the subject to help support Christian marriage. However, just because someone is a "Christian" sociologist, that does not necessarily make him a source on Biblical marriage principals.

Answer 11

Actually, from the Barna Group in September of 2004, the findings were confirmed to be:

Among married born again Christians, 35% have experienced a divorce. That figure is identical to the outcome among married adults who are not born again: 35%.

All adults who are not born again: this would include atheists. Also, the passage to which you are referring is not necessarily referring to marriage, but to two people which streghten each other. Potential does not always translate to reality, just in case you didn't know.